Monday, December 15

Michael Cera is Actually a Lesbian.

So, it’s finals week and after 4 cups of coffee and not a drop of studying I realized something. Something that only a Big 10 school can teach me, because with this 4 degree (yes, 4 whole degrees!) weather, I have a lot of time on my hands to not study. My revelation? MICHAEL CERA IS ACTUALLY A LESBIAN. Yes. You heard it here. Michael Cera is a lesbian. Welcome to the clan!
Shocked you are? Disgusted you are? Intrigued you are? Want to watch what he does in bed even though you know you a) shouldn’t want to look and b) don’t want to realize that, yes, it’s possible? Well, for you doubters out there, here’s proof.

He wears a lot of plaid, or oddly patterned collared shirts.



He’s best friends with a chubby, curly headed, Jew.

His hobbies include photography. (every lesbian I know has dappled in the world of lenses and light)
He plays guitar. At least 3 chords.


When someone offers to help carry the luggage, he says "No, I got it. I GOT IT."


Delightfully awkward, he’s that baby dyke in high school who is sort of artsy (I hate that word) has a fashion sense that won’t be cool until everyone else in your graduating class is pregnant and you’re living in New York rubbing elbows with the rich (and by rich I mean poor) and pretentious. This sort of reminds me of another lesbian whom I find just as adorable, if not more so...

Plaid.

Fashion sense.

Friends with a Jew.

[Unfortunately, the rumors are true, Olbermann is not Jewish:
CROSS: It‘s Unitarian.
OLBERMANN: Good, I was raised in that faith. So there‘s just a lot of political talk, no actually religion involved. OK, that‘s going to get me in trouble with my ancestors. (Read the whole transcript here.) But for argument's sake, let's just pretend.]

And just because we can: PRECIOUS.

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4 comments:

  1. Oh my god, you're right! He's totally a lesbian!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Keith shares my "religion" - just another reason why we're destined to be!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Man, I have a crush on both of them.

    ReplyDelete