Palo Alto Highschool Peacefully Fights that fucker Phelps.

I blogged about Constance McMillen and her school's cancelling of a her prom all because she wanted to bring her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo. Well, her school and community duped her. They told her there was a prom happening at a local country club and McMillen and date and tuxedo showed up ready to party. Well, they walked in to 7 other prom-goers, 2 of which were mentally handicapped. The only reason I'm including the mentally handicapped thing is because every article I've read includes and I find that hilarious. So they're basically saying, not only are you GAY but you get to party with RETARDS. Let's be real, that's discriminatory and politically incorrect TWICE. Whatever. People can be cruel sometimes. This shows that even being on the Ellen Degeneres show doesn't guarantee you anything. Shit's RAW.

But across the country, at Gunn High school in Palo Alto, CA, something amazing happened. Westboro Baptist Church, The "God hates Fags" people, (p.s. I can't believe I googled that to get the URL and it really is godhatesfags.com. I feel dirty linking you to it, and I can't even bring myself to explore the website because I'm greeted as a"deplorable son or daughter of Adam and Eve.") decided to protest the school because in the past 6 months 4 teens have committed suicide. Apparently, this is god smiting them for their liberal thoughts and the community's acceptance of all people. OMG THAT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE. I know that the events in the past semester at Gunn High school are tragic, but they are not the beginning of the second coming and they have nothing to do with Fred Phelps and his deranged followers. In order to retaliate and show the Westboro Fools that they have no business in the Palo Alto community, the school, lead by administration leaders and teachers, discussed a plan of action. They considered not showing up, so that the Westboro Fools protested a barren school campus; but finally settled on a peaceful display of acceptance and campfire songs. As a soul born into the wrong generation (I should have been a tree hugging hippie who ran way to San Francisco instead of Iowa who still reads Beat Poets and listens to Janis Joplin) I have a soft spot for campfire songs and peaceful demonstrations. Watch the video below to see what I'm talking about:



Daisy Renazco and Noreen Likins you're pretty ok. High Schools need more teachers and principles like you. Teachers with a social conscience. So in a time of cultural set back for Human Rights in Mississippi, we can always count on California (even though I secretly hate Palo Alto because of James Franco) to have their shit together. Now if only they shit can be together in a de jure sense instead of a de facto one.

Change, While Never Easy, is Always Possible

President Barack Obama visited Thursday to give a speech pertaining to the newly signed healthcare bill. I attended, not because I am an avid supporter who acts like John Lennon just walked into the room, but because here in Iowa City, American history was made. Right at my feet. Right in front of my eyes. Why WOULDN'T you go see your country's leader speak? Now I know we aren't famous for unbiased political opinions here on Dyxieland. But what can I say? Dorothy Anne's a feisty little cowgirl. So I want to focus on the importance that March 25, 2010 has in the context of American history, not political beliefs. I've sort of come to the conclusion that my political beliefs are so all over the place that I'm almost off the charts, almost an anarchist who prefers to be labeled as an "individualist," almost still stuck in this apathetic thing our generation has going on, but definitely someone who will never stop advocating for anyone's right to think or feel or say what they want as long as it is not a detrement to their fellow living being.

So with that, Iowa City was buzzing with protesters, with supporters, with press, with secret service (who have been here for 3 weeks without a majority of people knowing and that makes me uncomfortable.), with organizers. It was like Game Day at Iowa. The hotdog stand on Burlington that is generally packed with people in Black and Gold but instead was packed with red and blue and signs, has a banner that read "US Presidents eat 4 free." It normally has the perenneial I-O-W-A written on it. I managed to get a ticket to the speech. One with a red stripe on it. I was volunteering for Roxanne Conlin and am now an official Roxstar. Well, this red stripe got me into the official fenced off area that was about 20 feet (ish) (i dunno) closer to the stage where Obama was speaking. So that was super awesome. The ticket looks like this and is going to either go into my folder of things I want to keep and remember forever, or framed because I think it's just that cool:

It was so damn hot in the fieldhouse. That's one thing I don't ever understand about venues that KNOW there are going to be lots of people. They STILL won't turn the air on. Maybe Iowa's filedhouse isn't airconditioned. It is a possibility, I mean, my house doesn't have A/C and I'm kind of nervous about this summer... But let's be real. Some air would have prevented the man standing about 4 feet away from me from collapsing. Aaaaaaand segue into one of my favorite moments of the speech: Upon noticing this man who fainted, President Obama calmly points it out so the paramedics can help him, says "It happens, he'll be ok" and moves on. I thought this was really classy of him and exactly like the leader of a nation should act, as if he is watching out for his people. This is one of the first presidents that I've experienced in my short life that seems like just a dude. Just a person. I could see him walking down the street and it'd be totally normal. It's a relief that he isn't this weird "othered" politician-man-boy-thing. He's just a dude. With a wife. And some kids.

What I got out of his actual speech was that he recognizes that the bill is imperfect. He took into account some reasons why and the big one was that people (republicans) are unwilling to work with him. But my favorite quote of the whole thing was this: "Change, while never easy, is always possible." WHAT A DAMN GOOD SPEECH WRITER HE HAS. This bill takes America in a historically new direction. And that's exciting. My friend, Southern Gentleman, linked me to this really great chart that sort of explains everything about this new direction. I can't post it here, becuase the quality is pretty shitty, but here's the link to the article from the LA Times. I'm surprised Southern Gentleman came through with this link, I was expecting Dinosaur Comics or something equally as silly and nonsensical.

Anyway. History. I had friends on stage behind Obama. Those pictures will most likely be in history books. I ill know those people. So if your kids ever need any help with research papers or have to do an interview or something, tell them to call Gay Aunt Chatty. Because in my 3 years in Iowa, it's been the place to be. From gay marriage, to the caucus, to Obama. I've totally got the first hand goods. The protesters were also a very interesting part of the whole day. I also knew some of them. While obnoxious, they were fascinating. My favorite was this chick with an Obama shirt on and a sign that said "This Lesbian is for liberty." FASCINATING. And SO contradictory. But hey, you go protest your contradictory political views and entertain me for 5 minutes.

Then my highlight of the day was finding out that after name-dropping Prairie Lights Bookstore (our awesome local, independent bookseller where I've seen the likes of Tom Piazza, Junot Diaz, and Francine Prose and read.) he visited and bought books. I am no where near over that yet.

I think I've got everything covered. Thanks for putting up with my inability to stick to a schedule. I promise to be back on track this week.

FIRST SPORTS MASCULINE MONDAY EVER

So I realize that it is no longer Monday but I am no longer in Iowa City; yesterday I made a 9 hour drive back into the humid comfort of the South and Thursday - which is far too soon, given everything I have to finish up - I will be leaving the country to "study" abroad. Basically, Katie D.'s taking a three month field trip to Europe! I'm very excited, and I plan to continue writing from the other side of the pond, but this is my long-winded explanation for why I didn't post yesterday. In short, shit was nuts. But I'm here now, and I'm going to talk about sports. Prepare yourselves.

Now if you know me anything better than as a stranger, you'll know that my knowledge of sports is, let's say, "not extensive." When Boy Roommate told me that I'd be missing March Madness by going abroad, he needed to explain what sport that meant (basketball). My ex, who is from Chicago, used to get angry at me when I could never remember who Mike Ditka was (I believe he has something to do with football). I'm not sure what "bracket" means. The only basketball players I know by name are retired (aka I only know them because they were in Space Jam). I think you get my point.

Anyway, in a burst of roommately affection and tenderness (and because it was Boy Roommate's birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY! TAKE A SHOT!), last week I decided to watch the U.S. team play hockey in the Olympics with BR and CK. Of all the sports I could watch, I actually enjoyed the hockey. For one thing, it reminds me of the Disney movie Miracle, which I like very much. For another thing, it's not ridiculously complex, or at least I could still understand the gist of what was going on even if I don't know the actual technical rules. (Puck in net = goal. No puck in net = no goal. Plus they have a big buzzer that goes off when you score, just in case you missed it!) Also, it's sort of pretty. They move very gracefully in a big, burly, knock-people's-teeth-out way. And finally, it moves at a very fast pace and there aren't a lot of breaks, which means I'm much less likely to be bored than with some other sports (I'm looking at you, baseball, football, and golf!).

So while we were watching these Olympic games, I noticed one player in particular, who I can ACTUALLY NAME OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP: Ryan Miller. He was the goalie (goal keeper? Keeper?) for the U.S. team, and he was a BADASS. In the first game against Canada he faced 45 goals and blocked 42 (ok, so I looked up the stats. I'm not a machine. I'm still proud I knew his name). That's a lot of shots on goal to face - in comparison, he only faced 11 against Norway and 18 against both Switzerland and Finland. Clearly Canada's offense was also full of badasses, but even in the face of this Miller blocked 93% of their shots. THAT'S RIDICULOUS. This impressed me. I was more impressed when he continued to kick ass and take names in the following games that we watched, even though we didn't ultimately end up victorious. He, though, was named MVP for the tournament. For this badassery, Ryan Miller, even though you guys didn't get the gold, in addition to your MVP status I award you one of the coveted spots as a Masculine Mondayer. Congrats on being the first sports-person here. You may not find yourself in good sports company. Now excuse me while I go watch a musical.

Hey Females. Take Care of Yourself!

So this was supposed to be an AMAZING POST-GAGA Feminine Friday. Yes, you read correctly. Katie Dee and myself, along with J Bear and our other friend Lil Sof Sof, bought tickets on eBay to go see The Monster Ball at Purdue University. I was ready to share my religious experience, to express how I was a changed woman, and to praise the brilliance that is The Lady.

Well, the bitch canceled on us. We drove 5 1/2 hours, got lost about 5,000 times, had Google Maps drop us off in the middle of a corn field to find our spirit guide to lead us the rest of the way, saw Jason DeRulo, and at 7:30 (showtime) to a packed house, a man comes out on stage with this HUGE cop and "regrets to inform us that the paramedics have advised Lady GaGa not to perform tonight." Like any respectable Big 10 college audience should do, we started the "BULL SHIT" chant. We kept telling ourselves this has got to be the prelude to the most amazing opening ever. This is part of the show. He kept regretfully informing us of things and that all of our tickets would be valid for a rescheduling of the show on Tuesday, January 26th.

I was numb with shock. Sometime in the near future I'm sure this is going to be a good story. For instance, that I've seen Lady GaGa twice. But for now, it just really fucking sucks.

Everyone is talking about how great she was on Oprah. I didn't see it. Because I was busy speeding down I-74 in a disappointed rage. She cancelled her last Chicago show due to exhaustion. Bitch needs to take care of herself. I hope she's ok, but I mean, if her heart didn't stop for at least 4 seconds, I'm blackballing this "exhaustion."

I think TFLN put it best: "(812) Even Lady GaGa hates Purdue."

An example of the map we were following:

Where it lead us:

Side Note: Stay tuned for more GaGa, however. We're going to try and make it back to Indiana (the ugliest state in America) on the 26th to see this show.

Update: Ok. So I just went and checked Lady GaGa's twitter page... I feel bad for the girl. I want her to get better and do amazing things. She's changing pop music. She's such an outspoken member of the queer community. I just. I'm so disappointed. I can't believe this happened. I just. I can't. UGH. Read the tweets below.

"I've been crying for hours, I feel like I let my fans down 2nite. An hour before the show, I was feeling dizzy and having trouble breathing"

"Paramedics came to take care of me, and told me my heart-rate was irregular-- a result of exhaustion and dehydration."

"can't apologize enough for how sorry I am. I could hear my fans cheering from my dressing room, I begged everyone to let me go onstage."

"My stage has complicated mechanical elements,everyone was concerned I'd be in danger during the 2hr show, since I had passed out earlier."

"I am so devastated. I have performed with the flu, a cold, strep throat: I would never cancel a show just based on discomfort."

"I hope you can forgive me. I love my little monsters more than anything, you are everything to me. I will make-up the performance on Jan 26."

SECOND UPDATE: I HAVE SUCH MIXED FEELINGS!!! Chicago-Sun Times Headline reads: Lady GaGa ok for Oprah, but not for Indiana.

Survivor of Splinching, Hermione Granger Takes Teaching Position at Inner-City School

This Wednesday's video is thanks to my roommate J Bear, who obviously knows me extremely well, and who showed me this preview for the should-be-made movie, Dangerous Wands. It stars a whole bunch of people who are not in Harry Potter. I cannot stress enough how badly I want this to be a real movie. Please, if anyone has the power, make it happen.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Rap it with me: Wingardium - Leviosa - Wingardium - Leviosa!

Obsessive Much? Shrink Talk and Love on Wheelz

Ok so more than a few of you may have heard of Tucker Max, well known (and self-proclaimed) asshole, rich kid, and writer. Actually, I personally find him pretty funny, or at least I like his writing. (The movie, not so much, but that's not the point of this post.) Anyway, so he has his site and along with that his company, Rudius Media, owned/sponsored several other blogs by various interesting people, most of which I checked out at one point or another and two of which I actually love very much - Shrink Talk and Love on Wheelz. Then Rudius Media died. These two really solid blogs, though, survived on their own, but now have much much less automatic readership than they used to because they're not listed under Tucker's list of friends on his site, which I'm sure has a shit ton (technical term) of visitors every day. Well I'm selfish and I don't want these blogs to go under, so if any of Chatty Kathy's and my readers want to check out some really interesting stuff on both their blogs, I would appreciate it (and so would they). I've read every post both of these guys has ever done, and I plan to continue to do the same (I told you I have obsessive tendencies - but only with good stuff.) Here's what they're all about.


Love on Wheelz - Raul is a kid (and by "kid" I mean "my age") who has Muscular Dystrophy, which makes it so that he has to use a wheel chair to get around and he also has a lot of other medical issues, so he needs a nurse a lot of the time and generally doesn't live the same type of life that most of us take for granted. Not that he asks for pity; in fact, he'd probably be really pissed off if you pitied him. He's funny, he's a good writer, and he has a really interesting perspective. Honestly I just like the guy and I like reading what he has to say. He's really honest and seems to have a really great grasp on his feelings and his goals, all of which I find refreshing. Definitely worth a read. http://loveonwheelz.net/


Shrink Talk - This is probably my new favorite blog. It's written by Dr. Rob Dobrenski, who is brilliant. And here's what's brilliant about him: he's flawed, he doesn't always have the answers to his own problems, and he is really hard on himself - but all this is inserted into his posts which are consistently educational and… buoying. In other words, he's saying really great stuff, giving really good advice, and not ruining it by pretending to be flawless and omniscient. His main point, I think, is that we're all "flawed and neurotic," (INCLUDING SHRINKS) and that's ok, and once we can accept that about ourselves and about others we can start moving towards being psychologically healthy. I don't have a shrink, and I don't know if I ever could now because I'm afraid they wouldn't live up to my standards, as set by Dr. Rob. I read the site religiously. It never fails to make me feel better, and to make me re-evaluate things, in a positive way. He's got a book coming out, and I want him to have as much success as possible if it means that I get to read more of his advice. Please check out the site. http://shrinktalk.net/

Seriously, they're both excellent, and they deserve all the publicity they can get, even from our dumbass little blog. Obviously I've got links to both of them, but I also linked them on the side in case you come back in months and are like "what was that psychology thing she talked about in that one post?" (I'm thinking wishfully). Now go learn.

I LOVE THE AGE OF MEDIA

And there's why. Everybody and their father flipped a shit about Kanye West going insane and stealing the mic from Taylor Swift (who I actually like a lot) as she was receiving an award the other night. I know my three roommates and I (CK included) all stuttered a collective "What the fffuck?" at the time. But anyway, point is, even Obama thinks he's an idiot! And we've got the audio to prove it! What I love about this clip has nothing to do with Kanye or Taylor Swift or even Obama's opinion about the incident, but more the fact that he caught himself calling Kanye a "jackass" (which, to be fair, is one of the nicer things I've heard said about him in the past couple days) and then realized that it would be all over the damn internet like "the fly thing." And then someone told him, hey, the fly thing was good for you - you're a ninja! Which is a fair point. But I love that with all the damn media outlets there are today, not only do we get the President's well planned out speeches, we get these little things too. I know it's not important, but I feel like I sort of know him better, and he's more humanized, and that makes it easier for me to trust him and relate to him. Plus it just makes him seem fucking cool. For more proof of that, I give you "the fly thing," below.

Katie D's Fav Corners of teh Internets

Ok, so I may not have as much time to be on the computer during the summer as the school year (two jobs, hence far fewer posts, sorry folks) but when I DO have time I like to waste it by going to sites that amuse me. Some are blogs, some are ways to live vicariously through others' stupidity - whatever. But assuming that not everyone wastes quite as much time as me, I'm here to share some of my favorites with you. You're welcome.

1.
Obviously. I'm in college, so this is a requirement. I never had a MySpace, but my sister did, and I always thought it was obnoxious and brightly colored in a way that burned my eyes and for some reason it always sang at me and I couldn't make it stop anywhere near fast enough. Bam, here comes Facebook, which is (until the creation of apps, and now still if you keep them in check) clean, neat, and easy to navigate. It's fantastic. You can be "friends" with people you barely know, literally never speak to them (face to face or in type) and yet know all about them and look at all their hilarious drunken photos. Plus, the bumpersticker app is the shiz. Of course, friends' parents and my small cousins (one just turned 10) now have facebooks, so I have to be slightly more careful, but mostly this just entails blocking them from seeing certain pictures of me and not giving a fuck otherwise.
Facebook.com

2.
This site is not for the faint of heart, and not for those who are not truly dedicated to celebrity gossip. We here at Dyxieland update whenever we have a vague inkling of something to say and a good half hour on our hands. Michael K, Dlisted's guru, updates about two pages PER DAY. By himself. I mean, granted, it's his full-time job, but that is intense! This is someone who I'd love to be friends with in for real life: he's a bitchy gay dude who lives in NYC and is proud of his whorishness and drinking and loves to share his glittery opinions and obsessions and personal anecdotes with the world. He is where I get about half of my vocabulary and 78% of my joy.
Dlisted.com

3. Fmylife
This was the first in a series of a few websites, others listed below, that I found that depend on people giving experiences from their own lives up for the amusement of others. Fmylifes always start with "Today" and end with "FML" but what comes in between is basically anything that happened to you that is pathetic, embarrassing, sad, and (most importantly) funny that you'd like to share with the universe. Example: #163888 Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML

Bahaha. That blows. Anyway, after this site, another appeared, which is amusing in the same way that British humo(u)r is amusing. In the same vein, MyLifeIsAverage is where people can provide things that happened to them that are humdrum, or that could've been catastrophic but worked out just fine. Vaguely amusing, but like those in-depth things your boyfriend or girlfriend tell you about traffic - nothing to write home about.
Fmylife.com

4. Notalwaysright
As in, the customer is... notalwaysright. Unlike Fmylife, this site provides entire conversations, rather than 2-3 line anecdotes, all of which happened at someone's workplace. It's basically a catalog of how fucking stupid people can be when they're the customer, and how they can act in erratic and highly entertaining ways when they don't get what they want. This site also introduced me to the term "PEBCAK" (Problem Exists between Chair and Keyboard) which I've been trying to insert into daily life ever since.
Notalwaysright.com

5. Textsfromlastnight
"Remember that text you shouldn't have sent last night? We do." This site makes me want to be sluttier and drunker more often, in a good way. It updates pretty much constantly, and includes texts, in convo or one-liner form, that people sent to friends/hookups/boyfriends/strangers that give a glimpse of crazy shit that goes down with people from my generation. Example:

(970): I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.

It generally encourages random sex, heartlessness, drunkenness, and blackouts. Obviously I find it hilarious.
TFLN.com

6. Lolcats
It all started with a simple captioned picture of a cat. Now it's an internet (or life) phenom. The premise is simple: cats are strange. People take strange pictures of cats. They then caption them, often mimicking the cats' inner dialogue as we imagine it would be. Hilarity ensues.
The picture that started it all:


icanhascheezburger has spawned sister sites, such as:
roflrazzi, which is like Lolcats for celebrities,
totallylookslike, which compares pictures of products/people/inanimate objects that resemble each other in eerie ways,
punditkitchen, which is like Lolcats for political figures,
graphjam, which makes up funny graphs,
and failblog, which shows pictures of epic, epic fails. All worth a look and a chuckle.
icanhascheezburger.com

7. ASofterWorld

It's a comic that's not always funny, sometimes really weird, often focused on zombies, and typically a little crude or unsettling. I think I might like it because it reminds me of my friends. It's pictures of things that may or may not be directly related to the text, then text that is superimposed on the pictures. Interesting, unique, worth checking out.
Asofterworld.com

8. BeyondCynicism

Beyond being a shameless plug for my comic- (and comic book-) writing friend, I actually find these comics to be pretty funny, if hopelessly geeky (but that makes it better in a way. It's a niche!). Two guys, Ron and Marty, write and draw the comic, and sometimes do commentary/blog posts/rants underneath the comics that may or may not actually have to do with the content of the work above. Updates are infrequent but the jokes are good, sometimes relevant to pop culture, and more often than not include some sort of video game/comic book reference. Maybe if enough people read it, the guys will feature Chatty Kathy or myself (but since CK isn't writing about them it really should probably just be me) in the comic one day. Hey, he already put me in a comic book. Maybe I shouldn't be greedy? That sounds unlike me.
BeyondCynicism

9.
This is an interesting blog because it is written by former commenters on another blog that was killed by the falling economy (Mollygood). I was a commenter for a while, and I mainly went to the site because so many people who posted were intelligent and witty. When MG died they floated around Jossip (a sister, but like a slow and incompetent sister to MG) for a while before saying "fuck this shit" and developing their own site. While I find the term "Squee" to be obnoxious to the max, the ladies (and maybe gentlemen?) who run TS are really clever and just obviously write for the fun of it. Also, the commenters are vitally important to the site, which I find refreshing and cool for a blog.
TS.com

10. Maddox/ Tucker Max

Maddox is crude, offensive, creative, and recently really really popular. Tucker Max's blog site is headed by the words "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." The two of them, Maddox who writes an opinion blog and Tucker who runs a blog about all his drunken exploits (it's like TFLN but from one guy), hang out occasionally (since their fame) and are incredibly successful assholes together (and separately). I'm pretty sure they're also just really clever and found a niche that made them really popular. No matter if they're jerks or geniuses, thebestpageintheuniverse and tuckermax.com are full of fantastically funny rants and stories. Not for novices.
Maddox
TuckerMax.com

GO WASTE TIME NOW!!

Gall Durn TV Edits

The arrival of Snakes on a Plane in our town was a big fucking deal to my friends and me - Sammy Jack is kind of an idol for some of my guy friends, plus there really wasn't much to do in high school except go see movies. I knew a guy who worked at the movie theater and he actually scored me a SOAP poster, which for a while lived in my room alongside glow-in-the-dark stars and miniatures of various Impressionist paintings. I know, I'm cool. Anyway, the famous line - "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" was quoted rampantly and actually applauded raucously when it came up in the movie.

So SOAP was shown on FX this weekend and obviously this particular quote wasn't exactly kosher. Check out what the brilliant minds behind TV edits came up with in the clip below. It is Monday to Friday brilliant.

I Hope She Pops on Halloween

Hear ye, hear ye Buffy fans, a Prince or Princess shall soon be born unto us all - Sarah Michelle Gellar is pregs with Freddie Prinze Jr.'s babeh. They've been married 6 years - kind of a Hollywood miracle - and this is their first child. (Side note: whenever I think of this couple getting together, I think of the movie Cruel Intentions, which they were not both in, and I just realized that I probably think of that because Ryan Phillipe was in Cruel Intentions with SMG but they was also in I Know What You Did Last Summer, which SMG and FPJ were both in, and so I'm mixing up Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe who met on the set of Cruel Intentions and swapping that with SMG and FPJ being in IKWYDLS which is presumably where they met and fell in love... there's a glimpse into my cobwebbed attic of a mind for you.)

So in addition to still being happy, they are both still - and have been since they got together - one of Hollywood's more adorable couples. This is in part due to the fact that they're both just gorgeous people, but mainly it's because they keep their shit private and just go about their lives without trying to constantly be in the spotlight or anything - at least, outside of their professional lives. Now if they want to counteract this, I have a few baby-name suggestions that should put them on the map: Xander, Spike, Angel, or Josswhedon if it's a boy, and Buffy, Drusilla, Willow, or Anyanka if it's a girl. If you got those references I commend you.

She's due in the fall, and my thoughts are thus: an October 31 baby for the vampire slayer? Not to mention two of the stars of the (fabulous) live-action Scooby Doo movies? HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?

Iowa is for lovers... No Really. It is.

So my first post on this was erratic with typos and paragraph breaks where one should never put a paragraph break. I apologize. I just had to put the news on the interwebs. I'm still a little shocked that there isn't as much news coverage as California got, but maybe that's because our Iowa gays like to fly a little low. We don't have a West Hollywood, if you know what I mean.

But the rally was amazing. It was long. It was chilly. But it didn't really matter. Iowa was a little gayer on Friday than I've ever seen it.

There were books to sign to support the supreme court, and some of the speakers said that they wanted to make them part of Iowa's permanent historical records and on dispaly in Des Moines. I signed it, as did all of my friends. And I can't wait to come back with my family in 10 years and see my signature.

My roommate and I were standing there and we just looked at eachother and couldn't beleive it. She said somehting I hadn't even thought about. History books. There were cameras everywhere, taking pictures all over the place. These are going to be in American history books. So, when juniors in highschool suffer through APUSH, we might be in those photos.

I was just thinking on a much personal level. After every semester, I print off photos I pool from friends and my own and put them in really nice photo albums. All I could think about was how I couldn't wait to put those in there.

So, here they are. Because the spectacle speaks more for itself than anything I could come up with. I know that I claim I'm a writer, but this is one thing that leaves me wordless.

Click to make them bigger... they're prettier that way.

This is also Mauro Heck's Flickr feed of the event. Friends and I are also all over this...

Hell Yeah Iowa

Well who's proud to be in Iowa now? That would be me. After Tennessee disappointed me a while back by voting to make gay marriage unconstitutional (hey, you know, they'll get there. 1 in 4 people voted to not make it unconstitutional - and for TN, that's a fucking lot. Just give it time) I was a tidge ashamed, but I'm liking the place I'm living now!

Not only did the Supreme Court make gay marriage constitutional, but the ruling was unanimous. UNANIMOUS. And that's cause they went about it the smart way: by leaving religion at the door. This is a decision about CIVIL marriage, and according to Iowa justices, there is no constitutional reason to limit civil marriages to hetero couples (Um, duh, but yay anyway). They granted that it was up to each church to decide whether or not they would allow gays to participate in religious marriage ceremonies, which is, you know, the way shit is supposed to be - with the church and the state not interfering with the other's business!

And just to press the point, they were granted full rights to civil MARRIAGE. Not a civil union; gays are allowed to be married, not united. Language matters, people. There's something symbolic about saying that you are allowed to be "married" rather than just allowed to sign some papers. Good fucking job Iowa.

Oh, and on the celebrity side (because I have to): Ashton Kutcher (Iowa native) tweeted about the decision this morning. He said: "Ia was the 1st state 2 allow inter-racial marriages. Lets hope gay marraige(sic) sticks aswell(sic) & we don't over ride w/ a state const. ammendment(sic)." Soon after this, he responded to a friend who asked, "What makes you so passionate about this?" by saying "I have many gay friends and think the deserve equal rights." So good fucking job Ashton as well, I guess. Rally tonight to celebrate; where's my "Love is Love" rainbow-colored t-shirt??

Today.

Today the Iowa Supreme Court ruled unanimously that marriage is no longer restricted to a man and a woman.

you gays. It's happenning. there's a rally today that me and Katie D. are attending. I'm more in shock right now. I'm sure I flood with emotion later. here's the Des Moines Resgister article with the breaking news.

CLEMENTINE FORD IS A BIG GAY HOMO PART II.

So The Advocate did a special online feature (Thanks to Ms. Snarker's tweet for the heads up) on our favorite flip-flopper Clementine Ford, where she set the record straight, yet again.

But not really, because in the article she affirms that she is in fact a big gay homo.

Get excited PART II!!!

Here’s the quote from the article where Ford explains herself:
The Advocate: Let’s clear the air on the interview that ran recently with Diva magazine, in which the cover said, “Clementine Ford Comes Out.” In the piece, it sort of intimated you came out and that you had an affair with your costar of The L Word, Kate Moennig. Then you did an interview with TV Guide magazine where you attempted to clarify. It sort of has given you some pushback from fans. Can you tell us what happened?

FORD:It’s funny. I was having kind of rough day. My best friend sent me a text saying, “You have to see this.” So, I went online to see this link and I read the comments and I go, “They hate me!” When I did the TV Guide interview I was angry because there is the whole perception now that I came out and I went back in. And what upset me was I felt that because I did not "come out" in that interview, I felt it was unfair to fans that bought the magazine expecting to get a tearful story that says, “I’m gay.” I thought it was misleading, and now because I was upset by that cover, I am apparently back in the closet and people hate me.

TA: But, can you understand how some people may have been confused when in a magazine piece you are quoted like that?

FORD:There are people who get it, and get what my original meaning was. Just as I was talking about storylines being a nonissue on The L Word; it should just be these people are gay and it’s part of life. I think with that article, and what came across as ambiguity, was actually my attempt at making it a nonissue. Look, I am gay, and I just wanted there not to be this big emphasis on it.

The rest of the article is just about her role as Mackenzie “Mac” Browning on The Young & The Restless. Please. I don’t care about that. I just want to know who she’s banging.

The article leaves us with an interesting little tidbit:

TA:What about the reported “fling”?

FORD: I would never!

TA: Any of your L Word costars weigh in on your new soap role?

FORD: I talk to Kate Moennig all the time, and she was the first person I told. She told me congratulations.

So, what you’re telling me that’s there’s a chance those two are actually together, right? I mean I’m obviously not projecting anything here.

So welcome officially Clem, to the Ladies-Who-Love-Ladies Club. It’s a great place to be.


Sidenote: Props to PicNik on having a rainbow heart under the Romance category of their sticker tab. Props to you.

Obsessive Much? HJNTIY

First, I'd like to note that I've been a bad, bad blogger recently, because I haven't had a single post in like a week. I've actually been focusing on things like my schoolwork rather than celebrity news. That being said, though, last weekend I went to see the soon-to-be-classic "He's Just Not That Into You," and I LOVED IT.

So we're clear, I hate most chick flicks. Almost anything with Kate Whatever and Matthew Whoever - not into it. They're predictable and unrealistic. However, movies like Love Actually - where you can't really guess how it's going to end up and sometimes you're really unhappy with the endings (WHY didn't Karl and Laura Linney end up together??) - that shit I adore. Because that's the beauty of it! I like movies that have characters that are at least somewhat realistic, and who have stories that don't necessarily have to have happy endings (although of course you hope most of them do!) and that, my friends, is He's Just Not That Into You.

So without giving too much shit away, here's a summary: bitches and dicks ain't know how to treat each other right. Some of them are too desperate, some of them play games with each other, some of them don't really know what they want. In the end, some people break up, and some stay together, but mostly they make healthy decisions for themselves. And that last aspect, good friends, is the key to the movie. They make healthy decisions for themselves!

See, in most CF's, girls end up with guys who may treat them like crap or like goddesses - doesn't really matter, as long as they end up with the guy. Girls only have value if they're in a couple (what a depressing V-day message...). And guys settle for girls who are absolutely fucking CRAZY even if they're better than that(again, depressing!). Games are played. Hearts are broken. Tears are shed. Whatever. It's boring and predictable, and hopefully not particularly realistic - or else we're in big fucking trouble.

Anyway. Not in this movie. I saw it with my roommates and a whole theater full of girls and it was fabulous (actually, funny anecdote: the one guy friend in the movie theater was sitting right behind me. First, he and his friends commented that something smelled like mayo, which made my roommates - who had just gotten Chik-Fil-A sandwiches - sit a little lower in their seats. Then, when the bitch who played Audrey (Joey's college roommate) on Dawson's Creek came on, he correctly - and at the same time as me - informed his friend of how she knew who she was. Gay guy? I don't know, but I found it hilarious). Sadly, one of my favorite websites - watchmovies.net - has been shut down (according to my sources, this is because bitches don't want people watching movies for free) - so I'm unable to watch HJNTIY 300 times until I've memorized every line (like I did with Twilight), so I've had to satisfy myself with watching a million cast interviews about it. They all say the same thing I have ("My character is very realistic and the plot is just magnificent and the cast was a joy to work with...") so unless you're an obsessive freak like myself, don't bother to Youtube them. You should, however, bother to see the movie. AND don't leave until after the credits! There are extra "interviews" with the characters that are absolutely worth seeing!

Maybe I'm in a sappymantic mood. Maybe it's the estrogen. No matter, I loved it and Chatty Kathy loved it, so no matter who you are (yes, I'm saying we two cover the entire spectrum of human experience) GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

Oh and yeah, ScarJo was easily the hottest person in the film. Just sayin...

Aw! Public Displays of Gay Affection!

I love that gay couples are popping up on things like commercials and game shows! Commercials are supposed to tell us what's "normal" (which is why I get so annoyed that every ad for a cleaning product stars a woman. Hello, men wash dishes too.) and if we never see gay couples, it's kind of a subliminal "that's not ok." Game shows don't exactly tell us what's normal, but they are on during the day time, and lots of old people (like the ones who voted Yes on Prop 8 in California - blacks didn't kill gay marriage, old people did, don't believe the hype.) watch game shows. My point? It's becoming less taboo to be queer. Which means that marriage equality is coming, folks. Above is Wheel of Fortune with some engaged dudes, below is a Chemistry.com commercial catering to 1/10 of the world's population.

See? Taylor Lautner WAS a Good Call

So you might be getting sick of posts about New Moon, but I don't care, because I just saw this video of Taylor Lautner showing off the effects of his bulking up to play werewolf-Jacob in the next Twilight flick, and I needed to share it with you. As has been previously stated, in my opinion Jacob > Edward, so as a fan of the films I'm happy that the actor has taken his role seriously. Also, OHMYGOD.



Oh AND apparently Dakota Fanning is in talks to play the little mind-torturer-vampire Jane. This would be really great for me, because then I would be within 6 degrees of all the cast members.
1. I know a girl
2. the girl's mom (who she obviously knows)
3. knows Dakota Fanning's aunt.
4. Dakota Fanning's aunt knows Dakota Fanning.
5. Dakota Fanning will know Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, AND Kristen Stewart!
Which obviously means that I could befriend and then marry any guy on set. Good talk.

Perfect Perfect Perfect

The Inauguration was pretty sweet, if a bit repetitive when it came to the balls. I'm just happy that the U.S. is being represented by someone with a brain and with a cute family (Kennedy-esque, not that I'm trying to jinx them) who can be a good role model to American citizens - and hey, other people too. Here's more pictures to remember it by.



Barack and Michelle decided to walk part of the way, much to the support of their... um... is fans the appropriate word? Constituents? Whatever, he's a rock star. Their fans.



GOODBYE. Stop waving and get in the freaking chopper.



Looking solemn and determined, our new representatives to the world... all of whom are fairly attractive, actually. I'll take it.



I love this picture because it's SO how kids are. They absolutely do not get wrapped up in events outside their personal scope about 98% of the time. "Ok Daddy, I'm bored and my legs hurt. Can we go in yet?"



Let me just note once and for all that both these ladies look faaaaabulous, and also that Michelle is an Amazon and Jill is a pocket person (in the best way possible, of course). Though the balls (at least the first one) were run like the MTV Music Awards at times (who the hell picked out the announcer? He honestly sounded like he was about to tell us to give it up for Paris Hilton, who would be announcing the award for Sexiest Extra in a Rap Video. And several people said "Yo yo" etc. and so on before speaking. Who started that? Why can't you just go into what you're saying without holla'in at your homies? Especially at an INAUGURATION?), let's face it, they were a lot more interesting than McCain's would've been. Who would've been his guests? Speidi and Billy Baldwin? Elisabeth Hasslebeck?

I know it's supposed to be a love song, but the tune Barack and Michelle kept dancing to makes me think of a different thing I've been wanting to come along: the end of an error, a fresh new beginning. Hope, even if it's misguided (it's better than nothing). Barack has finally taken Bush's place the White House. The rest of the world is looking to us with a bit of respect for the first time in 8 years. At last...

WTF Happened To... iPODS!??!?!?!

So this might make some of my readers uncomfortable, but holy balls, what a discovery it is.





An Ohmibod is a vibrator you plug into your iPod and it works it’s magic to the speed of the BPMs of the track you are listening to. I know. I had that reaction as well. A music powered vibrator. So you can plug in and…umm… plug in. They are kind of expensive and there are different styles and shapes. There’s even a model that can plug into your Motorola RAZR so you can get off on the move.

WHAT!?!?

I’m not sure how I feel about that, especially the logistics. Don’t even pretend that you have methods to reason with this madness. NO ONE can pull off acting normal with a fucking vibrator between your legs. NO ONE. But with taglines like “feel the music” and “a whole new way to plug and play” how can you say no?

Spring Awakening: The Angstiest, Dirtiest Musical Ever.

I saw Spring Awakening on Thursday night with a friend from high school slash work. We are both English majors and post-play we did nothing but analyze the shit out of it. She made the remark that if she had seen this at 14, her brain would have exploded. Or something to that effect, as this play tackled just about every issue a teen faces. Sexuality, masturbation, defying authority, self worth/failing, domestic abuse/sexual abuse, abortion, suicide. The only thing not addressed was body image, but I think that might be a slightly more modern issue than the characters living in 1891 could probably handle, since, you know, the Girls Next Door weren't gallivanting on screen in front of them.

I’m about to go all English major on your ass, so if you don’t like analytical theories and only read this for our scathing, often rude humor, stop reading, or keep going to enlighten yourself. It's up to you. And there might be some SPOILERS so if you’re the plot loving theatre-goer, stop reading as well.


Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

A little background: Spring Awakening was first written in 1891 by Frank Wedekind and was banned by German Authorities. Wedekind is credited as a founder of modernism, the movement that gave us playwrights such as Beckett and Brecht and Pirandello. As an avid participant in Banned Books Week, I love banned things, so when I read that in my souvenir program, my blood started to boil with a little more excitement than it already was. Then, in 1974, the British National theatre staged the first uncensored English language production of Spring Awakening. And then Duncan Sheik reincarnated himself from 90’s pop hell and took over… And thus, Spring Awakening as we know it was born.



With it’s German roots this play was very Brechtian, and explained why all the names were so jankity: Melchior, Wendla, Moritz, etc. and can definitely be categorized as Epic Theater, or Dialectical Theatre, as Brecht preferred. For his goal with his theatre was to present ideas to people for them to judge and think about, all while constantly distancing the audience and reminding them this is fiction, but forcing them to face the issues going on around them, making the theatre more than just a form of entertainment. As a play of magically appearing microphones, Spring Awakening distances the audience with the sudden incorporation of mics-- be it from a coat pocket or passed out by a fellow cast member or through a strategically placed mic stand-- and an interesting technical aspect of having audience members on stage, mixed with chorus members who pop up to sing during some of the songs. This brings the music into the audience, breaking the fourth wall and the bubble environment most plays exist in. The minimal set also allowed for the audience to focus on the issues at hand, not the amazing feats of design and lighting. Even though both design and lighting are impossible to ignore, as that is what creates the scene in this play’s case, not the moving sets carted on and off stage, as that does not occur. If they are under a tree, the lighting changes, if it is night, exposed light bulbs come down from the ceiling and act as stars, the back light turns amber as the characters lose track of time in their talking, all amidst the duration of one song.

Now, my first impression of what this was going to be like was SEX EVERYWHERE!!! Even though there is nudity and a pretty explicit sex scene, I was proven wrong. Parents be warned, there is a website for you to use as resource in learning how to talk to your kids about the issues Spring Awakening tackles, because it is very explicit and I can see why people are made uncomfortable by the play. Seeing it in Houston, TX the audience was small, because I don’t think Houston is ready for what Spring Awakening does. People are scared of it. It makes people uncomfortable. Especially when an actor masturbates for a whole song. Yep. On stage. A whole song. Awkward much?

My one beef was during the reprise of “Word of Your Body” (the sex song), the gays of the show tackle the issue of their sexuality. One boy doesn’t know it but everyone else does, and one boy knows he’s a Big Gay Homo. Yes, that is a technical term. Well, it may have been the way the Clueless Gay played the scene—as a very feminine man, with all the right punches in all the right places to get the laughs—but the audience found something humorous in the fact that, just as heterosexuals do, homosexuals were discovering their desires. It may have just been the Houston audience, but what makes gay discovery funny? Where is the humor in someone discovering their sexuality? Who said it was ok that that can be used as fuel for humor? I do understand that sometimes the only way to deal with coming to terms with your sexuality is humor. I do it all the time. I mean, do you read the blog? Please. Humor of the self deprecating variety abounds. I get it. It’s necessary. But it is unfortunate that it has become a necessity to cope. That homosexuality is treated different than the discovery of a heterosexual’s own desires. So I guess the dialectical theater worked for me, as that scene made me want to go out and make a change and not just have my reaction exist within the scope of the play, but put into action in a very real way.

So you might be asking? Did the lesbian like the play, or not? I definitely enjoyed it. I recommend it as something everyone should see at least once. The opening number is THE SHIT. The actress who played Marta in this touring company was stomping like there was no tomorrow. Often compared to RENT (with that logo, how can it not be?), Spring Awakening does not do what RENT did in a political sense, because RENT is very relevant within it’s contextual time frame. Spring Awakening is more universal, with social issues and issues of personal discovery, and no one cornily comes back to life in the end, thank the baby Jesus. So I did enjoy it, the music was unlike anything I've heard in my limited-but-probably-more-extensive-than-the-average-person-exposure to musical theatre. But I definitely enjoyed the discussion it spawned and the analysis it provided more than the play itself.

Dialectical theatre Score.

And the fact that my neuroses can now entertain you people.


Here is an example of the GESTUS used in the play: Wendla's self-fondling is an action that flows throughout the acting in the play. Then, you get to see the girl's rock out. But it's a little less awesome, as there is no way TV can bring to you that special echo the stage brings. All the jumping and stomping adds to the music and it just pumps you up. I got chills down my right side during all of the numbers this Tony performance highlights. They started in my scalp and ended in the ink of the tattoo on my right calf. Oh, and ignore Zach Braff's lame attempt at comedy. Stick to Scrubs, man. Stick. To. Scrubs. And Lea Michele (The original Wendla who you see singing here) is the most gorgeous Jewess I have ever seen in my entire life. I only wish I got to see her boob on stage in the original production...




I also noticed that the adults in the play were played by one man and one woman, giving the Authority Figures, the bad guys, the opposition only one blanket face and allowing the variety of teens to stand out with their uninhibited actions and crazy hair.

Did anyone else notice the 6th member of New Kids on The Block?

And since I don't know where to put this: This is the tour promo video of the cast we saw in Houston. Marta (the chick in the stripes) was totally my favorite. And this is a bit more rocking than the Tony performance with the original cast, since they are all censored and shit.




Side Note: Did I mention everyone in the cast looks like they are about 12?

And...

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!