Monday, June 29

Katie D's Fav Corners of teh Internets

Ok, so I may not have as much time to be on the computer during the summer as the school year (two jobs, hence far fewer posts, sorry folks) but when I DO have time I like to waste it by going to sites that amuse me. Some are blogs, some are ways to live vicariously through others' stupidity - whatever. But assuming that not everyone wastes quite as much time as me, I'm here to share some of my favorites with you. You're welcome.

Obviously. I'm in college, so this is a requirement. I never had a MySpace, but my sister did, and I always thought it was obnoxious and brightly colored in a way that burned my eyes and for some reason it always sang at me and I couldn't make it stop anywhere near fast enough. Bam, here comes Facebook, which is (until the creation of apps, and now still if you keep them in check) clean, neat, and easy to navigate. It's fantastic. You can be "friends" with people you barely know, literally never speak to them (face to face or in type) and yet know all about them and look at all their hilarious drunken photos. Plus, the bumpersticker app is the shiz. Of course, friends' parents and my small cousins (one just turned 10) now have facebooks, so I have to be slightly more careful, but mostly this just entails blocking them from seeing certain pictures of me and not giving a fuck otherwise.

This site is not for the faint of heart, and not for those who are not truly dedicated to celebrity gossip. We here at Dyxieland update whenever we have a vague inkling of something to say and a good half hour on our hands. Michael K, Dlisted's guru, updates about two pages PER DAY. By himself. I mean, granted, it's his full-time job, but that is intense! This is someone who I'd love to be friends with in for real life: he's a bitchy gay dude who lives in NYC and is proud of his whorishness and drinking and loves to share his glittery opinions and obsessions and personal anecdotes with the world. He is where I get about half of my vocabulary and 78% of my joy.

3. Fmylife
This was the first in a series of a few websites, others listed below, that I found that depend on people giving experiences from their own lives up for the amusement of others. Fmylifes always start with "Today" and end with "FML" but what comes in between is basically anything that happened to you that is pathetic, embarrassing, sad, and (most importantly) funny that you'd like to share with the universe. Example: #163888 Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML

Bahaha. That blows. Anyway, after this site, another appeared, which is amusing in the same way that British humo(u)r is amusing. In the same vein, MyLifeIsAverage is where people can provide things that happened to them that are humdrum, or that could've been catastrophic but worked out just fine. Vaguely amusing, but like those in-depth things your boyfriend or girlfriend tell you about traffic - nothing to write home about.

4. Notalwaysright
As in, the customer is... notalwaysright. Unlike Fmylife, this site provides entire conversations, rather than 2-3 line anecdotes, all of which happened at someone's workplace. It's basically a catalog of how fucking stupid people can be when they're the customer, and how they can act in erratic and highly entertaining ways when they don't get what they want. This site also introduced me to the term "PEBCAK" (Problem Exists between Chair and Keyboard) which I've been trying to insert into daily life ever since.

5. Textsfromlastnight
"Remember that text you shouldn't have sent last night? We do." This site makes me want to be sluttier and drunker more often, in a good way. It updates pretty much constantly, and includes texts, in convo or one-liner form, that people sent to friends/hookups/boyfriends/strangers that give a glimpse of crazy shit that goes down with people from my generation. Example:

(970): I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.

It generally encourages random sex, heartlessness, drunkenness, and blackouts. Obviously I find it hilarious.

6. Lolcats
It all started with a simple captioned picture of a cat. Now it's an internet (or life) phenom. The premise is simple: cats are strange. People take strange pictures of cats. They then caption them, often mimicking the cats' inner dialogue as we imagine it would be. Hilarity ensues.
The picture that started it all:

icanhascheezburger has spawned sister sites, such as:
roflrazzi, which is like Lolcats for celebrities,
totallylookslike, which compares pictures of products/people/inanimate objects that resemble each other in eerie ways,
punditkitchen, which is like Lolcats for political figures,
graphjam, which makes up funny graphs,
and failblog, which shows pictures of epic, epic fails. All worth a look and a chuckle.

7. ASofterWorld

It's a comic that's not always funny, sometimes really weird, often focused on zombies, and typically a little crude or unsettling. I think I might like it because it reminds me of my friends. It's pictures of things that may or may not be directly related to the text, then text that is superimposed on the pictures. Interesting, unique, worth checking out.

8. BeyondCynicism

Beyond being a shameless plug for my comic- (and comic book-) writing friend, I actually find these comics to be pretty funny, if hopelessly geeky (but that makes it better in a way. It's a niche!). Two guys, Ron and Marty, write and draw the comic, and sometimes do commentary/blog posts/rants underneath the comics that may or may not actually have to do with the content of the work above. Updates are infrequent but the jokes are good, sometimes relevant to pop culture, and more often than not include some sort of video game/comic book reference. Maybe if enough people read it, the guys will feature Chatty Kathy or myself (but since CK isn't writing about them it really should probably just be me) in the comic one day. Hey, he already put me in a comic book. Maybe I shouldn't be greedy? That sounds unlike me.

This is an interesting blog because it is written by former commenters on another blog that was killed by the falling economy (Mollygood). I was a commenter for a while, and I mainly went to the site because so many people who posted were intelligent and witty. When MG died they floated around Jossip (a sister, but like a slow and incompetent sister to MG) for a while before saying "fuck this shit" and developing their own site. While I find the term "Squee" to be obnoxious to the max, the ladies (and maybe gentlemen?) who run TS are really clever and just obviously write for the fun of it. Also, the commenters are vitally important to the site, which I find refreshing and cool for a blog.

10. Maddox/ Tucker Max

Maddox is crude, offensive, creative, and recently really really popular. Tucker Max's blog site is headed by the words "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." The two of them, Maddox who writes an opinion blog and Tucker who runs a blog about all his drunken exploits (it's like TFLN but from one guy), hang out occasionally (since their fame) and are incredibly successful assholes together (and separately). I'm pretty sure they're also just really clever and found a niche that made them really popular. No matter if they're jerks or geniuses, thebestpageintheuniverse and are full of fantastically funny rants and stories. Not for novices.


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Sunday, June 28

Dyxieland Salutes Billy Mays

Adding to the "why the hell are people my parents' age dying?" fuckery of this week, Billy Mays, 50, was found unresponsive by his wife this morning in his home in Tampa. He was famous for being a soft yeller and selling cheap and useful products on TV, including, but not limited to, OxiClean, Mighty Putty, and Orange Glo. Yesterday, Billy was in a plane whose tires blew out upon landing, at which time passengers were buffeted, many of whom sustained minor injuries. Billy reported to a local news station that some objects "hit me on the head, but I got a hard head." It is unknown whether the accident had anything to do with his death, and an autopsy is pending.

Vince Shlomi should be put in the protective ward of whatever facility he is currently visiting; clearly, this is not a good week for the ridiculously famous. In all seriousness, let Billy rest in peace, and I hope this is the end of the recent celebrity death cycle.

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Thursday, June 25

Michael Jackson has Passed

And it's honestly a shame. I'm too young to have grown up with a Michael Jackson who wasn't surrounded by controversy, but I pick up a lot of information through the blog scene and Vh1 and I realize that he was one of the most talented and successful artists who ever took the spotlight. I hope he lives in peoples' memories as someone who changed the face of music. He passed away in Los Angeles from cardiac arrest at the unfairly young age of 50. It's a shock, and it's awful.

People who also passed in the past few days were Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett. McMahon, 86, died because of health complications related to bone cancer and pneumonia; Fawcett, 62, passed after a lengthy battle with cancer. Rest in peace, legends.

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