Eric Bana's Blank Stares are Scary.

So I went and saw The Time Traveler's Wife on opening day with my mom. Who did not make for stimulating post-movie conversation. But besides that, I really enjoyed seeing Clare and Henry's life and home and clothing come to life. Those were the things that stuck out to me when reading. That and the blatant roller coaster of emotion of having your loved one torn away from you to maybe come back, maybe not, without control. That's awesome. But I feel like if you haven't read the book you are going to be COMPLETELY LOST. And Eric Bana's inability to show emotion doesn't help root the story line either. Bana's sad face and happy face and liar face is basically all the same thing.













Liar Face vs. Happy Face vs. Sad Face


All somewhat similar. But hey, I'm no Ronfire99 so my cinematic opinion might be slightly less than reliable.

In order to really experience the story of The Time Traveler's Wife you should READ IT. What a concept, reading a book, huh? Here's the link to IndieBound, which has a database of independent booksellers. Find an independent bookstore, get off your computer, out of the house, and go buy it from a store that actually cares about you. Not the internet and not from Barnes & Noble. Because you don't even know who Barnes is, much less Noble.

ABDC: Beyonce Challenge

So coming up on Sunday is another ABDC, but before that happens let's talk about last Sunday's Beyonce Challenge.

Some Highlights:

AFROBORIKE WAS HOT.



Even that dude with the dreads that look like too-thick spaghetti pieces had it going on. All about it.

VOGUE EVOLUTION: Who knew that you don't need the proper parts to be incredibly feminine. Femininity is not linked to a body's physicality. It is also very difficult to spell.




However, I do not approve that this:


Beat this:




AMERICA PHONE VOTING FAIL.


I'm not even sure that We Are Heroes even danced on that stage. Like yeah I get that their task was to do some intense ticking or whatever. (I do not have the proper jargon to speak about this successfully) But that chain trick was INSANE. Pure insanity. And that got sent home? I think it's all because of the weird judging/voting system that ABDC uses. After 4 seasons, I'm still not even sure that how it works. So even if I wanted to, it's not even clear enough for me to do the damn thing. That's a problem. And the obvious cause that the more talented, better looking, all-female dance crew is gone. Now we're left with strange-looking Asians who may or may not have epilepsy. Awesome.

But at least we got to see this heart-felt goodbye from Artistry in Motion:



Sorry the quality is so jankity. Oh, and the new Wilco album is out of control.

Let's get excited for some martial arts moves on Sunday... I think I might get take out for the occasion.

Obsessive Much? ABDC!

I know that's not the proper order of the alphabet. That's cuz it's not! It's time for a new season of Randy Jackson presents (yet never actually appears on) America's Best Dance Crew! Get excited for JC's pretentious critiques, Shane Spark's inarticulate awe, and Lil Mama's ghetto fabulous 'tude and lip gloss use. Oh, and Mario Lopez in all his glory sans rhythm or wit... Who knew that such an unrelated group of people could bring to us such an amazing experience known as ABDC!?



You can watch the whole first episode straight from MTV.com by clicking HERE. But, I'm recapping and doing introductions all around below... so if you can bear to watch without Mario, then just keep reading. I've got your back.

This season seems to bring dance crews from all over, with more obvious styles. So basically, they aren't all AZN.

And the one explicitly AZN dance crew is trying really hard not to be THAT crew. Even though they so obviously are. Fr3sh:




There's the rumba-ing, salsa-ing, throw your hips around like no one cares Afroborike.




There's Artistry in Motion. One of the girl groups. 2 Good Things: NOT SLUTTY NOT ANOREXIC. Their whole thing is that they don't look like the stereotypical dancer, but that DON'T MEAN SHIT. And they are all about giving back to the community. They all teach dance to young girls.




Second girl group: We Are Heroes. Their name kind of reminds me of a Will Smith movie.




The Reason This Show is Now Worthy For Dyxieland Coverage: VOGUE EVOLUTION. This is a crew that bring vogueing mainstream. If Shane can love it, you can love it. They not only have a tubby queen, they have a MTF Transgender crew member. And they're black. So basically every minority statisitc that anyone ever wants to talk about (MTF Transgender maybe possible being a small exception...) and these people are FEARLESS. They own it. They work it. I'm just worried they aren't dynamic enough. But I can't wait to keep watching and find out.




STUPIDEST IDEA EVER: Southern Movement. They're lame. This is not how you represent the Durrrty South. I've seen better. Now this is just tacky.




Rhythm City is our Rags to Riches crew. They represent the Bronx, NY and have an immediate ally in Lil Mama. Clean, classy, but not very creative. I hope for some innovation.




Classic B-Boy Crew: Massive Monkees. Entertaining to watch, but we've seen it. Especially on ABDC. Jabawockeez? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?




Fabulous in Hats: Beat Ya Feet Kings. They do this whole feet beating thing that is apparently the Shit in Washington, DC. Don't worry, I have field correspondents out doing research...





So that's all of the crews. Unfortunately Fr3sh was the first to "walk it out" last Sunday. Vehement denial of being the AZN crew obviously did not pay off.

UPDATE: Sorry the videos are all cut off. If you don't like it you can go and embed all that code again yourself. Thanks!

So That's Where He Learned To Dance

My sister was very excited about this one. So here's the news, which you may have heard, but now there's a video: Channing Tatum, that muscular guy from those dance movies (Step Up), used to be a stripper. Calm yourselves, ladies. He dressed and danced to a sort of boy-band theme, complete with the hairdo and lip-syncing, under the name Chan Crawford. He was pretty good, if you're into that sort of thing. I find stripping to be a fascinating career, but with guys it seems to be less soul-crushing and more cheesy. In his case, it's just a little embarrassing. But nice six pack! He was 18, and sadly the club had a no-nudity policy. Ok, less chatting, more video.

DanRad has a GIRLFRIEND?

I missed this! Harry Potter is dating someone, who is NOT a boy, and who is NOT me. This is a crime, because I've been in love with him for years and even more since I found out that he's Jewish. British, Jewish, gay-friendly, liberal, Harry Potter. WHAT ELSE DO I NEED IN A MAN? He confirmed their dating rumors in late July (sorry, I was busy working) but they've been together since like 2007. What the hell? This Laura O'Toole bitch better watch her back. She was the understudy for the main girl in Equus with him. Daniel! You're a millionaire! At least go for the girl who got the actual part! (Although apparently Laura's been picked up to be the main girl in the next production. WHATEVER.) She's Irish and four years older than him. I look Irish and am his age, roughly.... I need to move to England.

Harry Potter Update

This will be quick, but I just wanted to follow up on my HP excitement from before. Whenever anyone asks me if I liked the movie, I'm torn. Yes, the acting continues to improve. Yes, Dumbledore was done much better in this movie than he has before. In addition, the little interactions between the kids - particularly the main three - and the additions of the two hilarious characters of Lavender Brown and Prof. Slughorn were works of sheer brilliance. And Harry on Felix Felicis was probably the funniest part of the movie ("not to mention the pincers"). Plus the special effects were good. BUT. But but but. I do have my frustrations. Here are my top 5. Also, consider this your spoiler alert.

5. Ginny sucked. She's a great character in the book and in the movie she's really weird and spazzy. When she's hiding the damn book from him and she's like whispering and telling him that he can leave their kiss there too? WTF? Way to ruin a great character.
4. They cut out half the scenes with the Pensieve. Or more. We learn nothing about the Gaunts, almost nothing about Voldemort's heritage or his growth into manhood, which is like the whole fucking point of Dumbledore's lessons with Harry. A lot of other scenes, not just Pensieve ones, were shortchanged too, like when Harry convinces Slughorn to come to Hogwarts, or the whole thing about Harry following Malfoy to find out what he's up to. He gets obsessed with that. And Dobby and Kreacher weren't even in the movie! At all! AND they never introduced the Prime Minister, or mentioned the fact that Scrimgeour was the new Minister of Magic!
3. No battle at the end of the movie! Bill was supposed to be mauled, it was a major plot point leading to one of my favorite lines (when Lupin is telling Tonks that she deserves someone young and whole and Mr. Weasley looks sadly at Bill and tells him that young, whole men do not always remain that way. WEEP.) and it just wasn't in there. The Death Eaters are just supposed to walk through Hogwarts and no one is going to fucking stop them? We're supposed to believe that Dumbledore left the castle with no protection, and Harry did too? Yeah fucking right!
2. How is Harry supposed to go look for Horcruxes when he wasn't told that they're going to be things that were important to Voldemort, not to mention things that belonged to the founders? He asks if they could be anything, like a shoe, and in the BOOK Dumbledore is like, "No, dumb fuck, that's a Portkey, Voldemort wouldn't put part of his damn soul in a damn shoe," but in the movie Dumbledore's like, "Yup, sure could be in a shoe." Oh, awesome! Harry was almost totally in the dark when looking for Horcruxes in the book, but here he doesn't even have a fucking place to start!
1. They burned down the fucking BURROW? WHAT THE HELL? And Harry chases Bellatrix into the swamp lands that magically appeared around the house and fucking FENRIR is there? Who, by the way, they never explain. WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO ADD TO THE PLOT? I understand stuff like in the fifth movie they made Cho tell Umbridge about the DA rather than Marietta, because it all comes to the same thing anyway and this way they don't have to waste time introducing a character and they don't have to add the scene where Umbridge uses the Veritaserum on Harry so they just cut to the chase, but this scene adds nothing. If anything, it adds a sense of instability that wasn't even in the book. There were a few safe places, and the Burrow was one of them, and now that's lost. It's supposed to be a big fucking blow, like a HUGE breach of ministry security when the Death Eaters show up at the wedding at the Burrow in the 7th book. Will there even be a wedding now? Bill and Fleur weren't introduced as being engaged, and their wedding's where the whole thing about the Hallows starts for Harry. How are they going to start the fucking next movie? What were they thinking?? Shit.

Yes, that is what I consider quick, because I could go on about this for a long time. If you kept up with my crazed rambling I salute you and recommend that you see a counselor. And for Harry Potter day at camp, I went as Fawkes the Phoenix. My sister was Dobby. We love camp/Harry Potter!


And welcome back CK!

Les Petits Chevaux sur Tout le Monde!

So last year in preparation for her Oral French Final, my roommate (J Bear) and I were going over her prompts. One of them was something like: What would your ideal world be like? You had to answer in French. Tired, annoyed at inane questions, and ready to be done with that shit, her answer went something like this: "Dans mon monde ideal, il y aurait les petits chevaux sur tout le monde!" ("In my ideal world, there would be tiny horses everywhere!") To which I added something weird and she continued with something else weird and so on and so forth. Completely amused with ourselves, we dissolved into giggles and barely finished the prompt.

Well, J Bear, it is with good spirits that I inform you that your ideal world is close at hand.



Koda, a dwarf American Miniature horse (that is, American Miniature is already a breed of teensy equines, and Koda is a dwarf one) is a beautiful, 13-month-old, cat-sized creature who is often mistaken for a battery-operated toy. Koda was born with a lot of health problems, like wonk legs and teeth that are too big for his lil mouf, but he's had surgery to work on some of his problems and he's recovered well. Other "problems" are that he has "bulging eyes, upturned nostrils and a wrinkled nose" but (maybe this is awful) I think that makes him look even freaking cuter. They thought they would have to put him down at birth, but he's still doing well. He's about 23 inches tall, which is about as high as a normal horse's knee, and he's not expected to grow any more. Can I get an "awwwwwww?" More pics below courtesy of the Daily Mail.

It's a Ukulele, I'm in love.

Hello dwindling Dyxieland readers! I'm back. After 9 weeks of working in 106 degree weather telling kids to bend their left elbow as they shoot a bow and arrow I finally return. Thanks to Katie D. for holding down the fort while we both worked our camp counselor magic on the youth of America. You know, the future and shit.

So I did miss a lot of prime blogging opportunities and was kind of out of the loop of the real world stuff. But I did get the memo that Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and the OxyClean guy died. Since we all knew about that, I wanted to bring to you some things that People Magazine isn't covering, much less knows about.

First.

Anyone But Me is a webseries that just finished it's first season. It focuses on the relationship of a young lesbian couple living in an explicitly post-9/11 world.


What I love about the plot is that it's not about coming out or reasons why. The orientation of it's characters is a characteristic of a human being and not a reason why for plot development. It just shows the relationship of two young girls trying to keep it together when one of them moves to Westchester from NYC due to her dad's 9/11 related health issues. The other thing i love about the show is the obvious chemistry between Vivian and Aster (VivSter) played by Rachael Hip-Flores and Nicole Pacent. Who, in their interview at Autostraddle, are delightfully nerdy. But nerdy/cool, kind of like Marty McFly pre-time traveling Delorean. I mean, Rachael talks about the His Dark Materials Trilogy. GUSH. Don't worry, we've already twittered about it.
It's not all lesbolicious. Like the L-word. Which was basically soft-core porn. I mean, there are prime time television shows that are racier than ABM. But there is something for everyone. It addresses urban/suburban dynamics, racial prejudice, straight relationships. I'm not lying when I say it's a modern interpretation of a coming-of-age story. It's not written by your mother or her tennis-playing-afternoon-bloody-mary-drinking friend who want you to come of age according to their divine plan. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It has an opinion, a point of view that is all it's own, and girls kissing. Did I mention there are girls kissing? WOO!


Second.


Julia Nunes. [pronounced NOONS]

Thanks best friend for posting this video on my facebook wall.



So then, after falling in love with this Julia Nunes' big blue eyes, ballsy voice, and ukulele use, I watched most of her videos and came to the conclusion that she so cute! I might be in Love. Internets love of course. I've never seen anyone use such perfectly timed YouTube video tags. She's turned it into an art. I'm all about it. Turns out Nunes is a college student (like me) posting videos from her room at home (like me) or her dorm room (like me) and opened for Ben Folds (not like me) and has cd's you can buy on iTunes (not like me). And she doesn't just do covers. She writes songs like this:


Ch-ch-check her out.

Twitter
Myspace
Youtube
Official Website
iTunes

Third.

Someone wants to make Green Day's American Idiot album into a musical.
Who do they have to play St. Jimmy? John Gallagher Jr.
Who is that you ask? Click here for a memory refresher.

A Green Day Broadway musical? Sounds sketchy to me. It seems like they are trying to create Spring Awakening part Deux. But created by the cheaper, second cousin of Spring Awakening. Or like, it's the pokemon trade of a hoilfoil Weavil for a platinum edition Charazard. Or something. Potentially benefical, but most likely not.



I now declare Dyxieland somewhat stable and living after our summer hiatus. So check back for more! viva!