Wednesday, April 29

Sweetest. Thing. Ever.

So, as you may know by now, I don't have many soft spots. My one weakness is triumph over adversity. So, every freaking Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, I cry.

Well. This soppy romantic little gem of goodness caused me to tear up. In the library. While analyzing Modernism and the role of the Harlem Renaissance within that movement. Obviously, I needed a break.

I only hope someone loves me as fearlessly as these two clearly love each other. Bare with it for the first minute, the wind lightens up.

Let's face it. Only two lesbians could pull off something that cute and thoughtful and meaningful in 10 minutes and have it not be cheesy. That proposal was NOT cheesy! If it was some dude, people (and by people I mean "I") would shrug it off as gross and silly. But this just melts my heart.

It's public. It's fearless. It's what needs to happen in the gay community. My favorite part is the acceptance. The proposee gets on her knees and they hug and she accepts her ring from the proposer already on her bended knee in old fashioned hetero proposal style. I love that a traditional image was flipped on it's head and they created their own. And the hugging, my GOD the hugging. Quality right there.


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Tuesday, April 21

Oh Colbert

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorGay Marriage Commercial

That "Gathering Storm" vid is all the news this week. The Funny or Die spoof was good, but being a Daily Show/Colbert Report kid myself, I also really like his take on it. Watch out for lightning. Oh, and just because I love Neil Patrick Harris and this is an excuse to post this video, remember this gem from the Prop 8 debacle? NBH and Jack Black are brill!

See ya lata, sinners!

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Obsessive Much? WEEDS


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UPGRADE: A Gathering Storm



First off, I love Jane Lynch in this. But who doesn't love Jane Lynch to begin with. I think we all need a pocket Joyce Wischnia.

Second off, I'm a hard working student in Iowa whose family is threatened by the gays. My drinking time is being taken away by worrying about these same sex marriages. And I have a midterm... Gay Army RUINATION.

Side Note by Katie D.:
Being a curious cat, I typed in and guess what? It exists! Paid for by God and doctors, sponsored by - who else? - Fox News. Also, I could not love Lance Bass more.

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Monday, April 20

Gall Durn TV Edits

The arrival of Snakes on a Plane in our town was a big fucking deal to my friends and me - Sammy Jack is kind of an idol for some of my guy friends, plus there really wasn't much to do in high school except go see movies. I knew a guy who worked at the movie theater and he actually scored me a SOAP poster, which for a while lived in my room alongside glow-in-the-dark stars and miniatures of various Impressionist paintings. I know, I'm cool. Anyway, the famous line - "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" was quoted rampantly and actually applauded raucously when it came up in the movie.

So SOAP was shown on FX this weekend and obviously this particular quote wasn't exactly kosher. Check out what the brilliant minds behind TV edits came up with in the clip below. It is Monday to Friday brilliant.

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New Show To Watch: Tough Love

My time, as has been well established, is often wasted - and what better way to waste time than to discover new AMAZING TV to watch and then to tell you good people about it? No better way, I say. And so I bring you VH1's newest crack-baby of a production: Tough Love.

It's hosted by Steve, who is kind of an asshole and who I kind of want to date, and who, along with his mother, is apparently a matchmaker. Think Fiddler on the Roof. Anyway, so they picked these 8 women who are pathetic and fucked up and put them in a house together, vowing to teach them how to have healthy relationships and place them with good matches. Like Tool Academy, all these people are a little bit insane, but the women have many different varieties of crazy to delight us with - Arian doesn't know how to put on the breaks on her sexuality and not come across as a whore, Abiola (whose name makes me think of nipples EVERY TIME) wears a big piece of bling on her ring-finger because she "married herself," Taylor is a gold digger because at one point she was homeless with a baby she had to give up, and Jaquelyn (my personal favorite) at age 22 has already designed her wedding dress and wants to be tied down by 25. WOW, right? I know what you're thinking: how could this be better? Well they of course have to do challenges to teach them lessons, which include them going on lots of dates and doing all sorts of semi-embarrassing tasks. Also, Steve doesn't exactly mince words, and this causes the girls to tantrum quite a bit. Shouting, tears, hugging, love - I can't even go on. Sundays at 10 Eastern. Watch it. Love it.

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Thursday, April 16

Since when did censorhsip actually happen?

Twitter censored me. I got this reply today:
I think that's actually a friend's reply to my post, where I originally used the word "cunt." (harmless... obviously.) Then, her reply got censored? Even though I think she censored it herself. I'm not even sure. I just don't like the fact that I got censored! I mean. I understand that by putting it on the internet, I am allowing myself to be monitored and followed, so I'm not surprised someone found my use of the word "cunt." But to actually censor it shocks me and makes me uncomfortable.

This was the Tweet that was censored:My "c-word issues" are the fact that I don't have enough money to by more Coffee and I had a run-in with a crazy lesbian who had a vagina tattooed on her back and through a thoroughly hilarious conversation about my bad date, dubbed her form of artistic expression as "Cunt Calligraphy." THAT'S FUNNY. Not vulgar. Please.

This is my Tweet where the word is actually used:So the censorship bot didn't even do it's job correctly. It censored the WRONG FUCKING TWEET. This is what reviewing all of these screen shots has established for me.

And have a mentioned the SPAM on twitter? I tweeted about Keurig K-cups and coffee once and was subsequently followed by a bunch of random Asians. I guess that makes sense, since we all know digital spam comes from Asia.

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Tuesday, April 14

R Pattz Hair Update

It's been short, it's been long, now it's moppish. This is for his new movie, How To Be, in which I believe his character is the anti-Edward Cullen. He actually filmed it before the phenomenon that is Twilight in jolly old England but it's just getting out now. Trailers:

But enough about that, let's talk about the hair: I'm not big on it. It doesn't do much for me. It does kind of remind me of Eric Matthews from Boy Meets World, but dirtier and less, you know, attractive. It looks like there are mats in it, and perhaps a family of birds or small squirrels. He reminds me of this kid at camp who had a similar mop-top, but blond, and who was in all advanced classes at school but in person was just not quite there, especially in the movie poster. Actually, he looks like someone who Kristen Stewart would really like to date. (Because she likes weed, get it?)

All of the above being said, however, I would still hit it with no questions asked for one reason and one reason only: British. Accent.

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Ew. Ew Ew Ew Ew.

I hate stories like this. It is bad enough to order food from strangers who get minimum wage and clearly don't give a fuck and who you can't see making your food - it is WORSE when you have proof that some of them definitely do NOT RIGHT things with said food. I love gays, but not these gays. The videos really speak for their barfy selves, and if you can get through them all then you have an iron stomach. They worked at a Domino's Pizza in, I believe, North Carolina (this does not say good things for the South either, but please don't judge us by this. We are not all hicks). Yes, I said "worked" - they've been fired like MAJOR. Bad gays, bad! Grossness below. If you want to see more, link here, complete with letters from Domino's HQ talking about how they think this is nasty, too.

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What in Photoshop Hell

Did they do to Eminem's eyes? So he's supposed to be some comic book character on the inside of the magazine - do they have to make him look like human anime (or as one of my exes says, "aminay", no matter how many times I remind him that it is short for "animation")? Somebody needs to get slapped over this because making someone typically sexy (don't you judge me) look like an alien with a crack problem is a crime against photos, straight women, and gay men, not to mention the poor aliens! I don't know what XXL magazine is (or I didn't before I googled it and found that link), but this is apparently a promo for his fifth album, Relapse, which comes out on May 19. Um, awesome. I'm now terrified into buying it because I believe that his laser eyes will GET ME if I don't. Great marketing scheme, if that's what they're going for. Thanks, XXL, I'll be checking the closets for those eyes before bedtime from now on. More pics from the promo below - click to enlarge if you're not scared already.

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Zac Efron Is Pretty

(Quick, about the above picture - who decided to have him pose sideways holding onto that pole? Because after seeing his arms like that, I support them and all their future endeavors.) And he's funny! Zefron hosted SNL last Saturday and while I don't actually watch that show (I have considered Tivoing it but that's as far as I've gotten) I wish I'd seen this episode, because he apparently was amazing. I know this clip, a spoof of High School Musical 4, had me giggling.

I, too, was upset when no one sung at college. Until of course I met the girl who was to become my roommate, who will now sing with me in my apartment whenever I want. Anyway, Zac is also in/on the cover of GQ and he is looking, well, PRETTY.

Damn that Vanessa Hudgens skank for being his main bitch. I will gladly volunteer myself for the post. AND he was on The View the other day to promote his new movie, 17 Again, with Matthew Perry (probably my favorite Friend). I kind of sort of actually want to see this movie, maybe because I think it looks funny and maybe because I tend to love some really awful films. Whatever. Oh and there's a big to-do about how he turned down the new Footloose film, because he wants to do a movie where he isn't singing while dancing or playing basketball or working for equal rights (no one ever remembers that he was in Hairspray, but I'm here to remind you, folks). He's everywhere, and you know, with that face, I'm ok with it.

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Lady GaGa has a serious Pokerface

Riddle me this gays. Is Lady GaGa a Big Gay Homo or not? Or is it just a publicity tease?

The following three reasons confirm her Lesbian Tendancies:

1. She makes out with a lady cop.

2. She has sexually ambiguous lyrics and has been quoted as saying:

"I love men, I love women and I love sex, but I’m actually pretty introverted right now because I’m so enveloped in my work, and it’s hard to let anybody near that. People f--- with your energy, and it’s very hard to find people that are supportive of your art and don’t want to take time away from it. A lot of times, boyfriends and girlfriends get jealous and want all your attention, and I really don’t have time for that." From HX Magazine, August 2008

And I googled her (not like that...) and came up with this article, where she says "I love a girl in her underwear." No, I did not take that out of context.

3. These photos are up. [Thanks to Chelsea for the tip!]This is just a taste of what the paparazzi caught her doing with this chick who is apparently named Lady Starlight. Who the fuck is that you ask? I dunno. But click here to see the rest...

My reasons why I think it’s just a tease:

1. Sex sells.

2. How many times does a club superstar ever actually have a succesfull second album? Get it while you can. Get it. While. You can.

3. The gays know how to dance, and if your videos appeal to that action you will have so many gay men with ultra low rise jeans and bleached hair waiting in line to buy your cd, you won’t be able to tell the difference from the smell of hairspray or the smell of plastic being ripped off of cd packages that are too tightly sealed to begin with. Shyeah. It’s that intense.

4. Sex sells motherfucker.

But for right now, I think the most important reason we even care about this issue is that that beat is SICK. Even though the issue of her sexuality only keeps her on, her music keeps her in the club. Which is a fun place to be after 3 beers and a Long Island Iced Tea. Or two. So I vote she just keeps singing. And if she kisses a girl , let it be me.

And she performed at the Dinah. Along with Katy Perry. Really Club Skirts? Katy Perry? She’s fun and has a thing for fruit themed clothing, which is cool and all, but still. Katy “I ripped off Jill Sobule’s hit from the 90’s” Perry? Please…

Sidenote: I love her sunglasses.

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I can't deny my love.

I have to get something off my chest. Besides a crazy lesbian.

I can't deny any longer that I really do love Lindsay Lohan. What sealed the deal, you ask? Well, her mock eHarmony ad, of course. Self-deprecating humor is my favorite. It's also good to see that she can still laugh at herself because the girl is CRAZY.

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Sunday, April 12

I Hope She Pops on Halloween

Hear ye, hear ye Buffy fans, a Prince or Princess shall soon be born unto us all - Sarah Michelle Gellar is pregs with Freddie Prinze Jr.'s babeh. They've been married 6 years - kind of a Hollywood miracle - and this is their first child. (Side note: whenever I think of this couple getting together, I think of the movie Cruel Intentions, which they were not both in, and I just realized that I probably think of that because Ryan Phillipe was in Cruel Intentions with SMG but they was also in I Know What You Did Last Summer, which SMG and FPJ were both in, and so I'm mixing up Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe who met on the set of Cruel Intentions and swapping that with SMG and FPJ being in IKWYDLS which is presumably where they met and fell in love... there's a glimpse into my cobwebbed attic of a mind for you.)

So in addition to still being happy, they are both still - and have been since they got together - one of Hollywood's more adorable couples. This is in part due to the fact that they're both just gorgeous people, but mainly it's because they keep their shit private and just go about their lives without trying to constantly be in the spotlight or anything - at least, outside of their professional lives. Now if they want to counteract this, I have a few baby-name suggestions that should put them on the map: Xander, Spike, Angel, or Josswhedon if it's a boy, and Buffy, Drusilla, Willow, or Anyanka if it's a girl. If you got those references I commend you.

She's due in the fall, and my thoughts are thus: an October 31 baby for the vampire slayer? Not to mention two of the stars of the (fabulous) live-action Scooby Doo movies? HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?

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Thursday, April 9

A Gift for Katie D.

Besides Beatle's Lyrics, I don't understand anything. But it's still damn cute! And those highliy styled AZNs in teh audience make me think dirty thoughts...

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Wednesday, April 8

Obi Kenobi Uses His Light-Up Sword To Block The Pokey-Ball/ Remember to Ret Er Into Or Heart *UH UH*

If stealing children weren't a felony, these would be the two I'd be after. Don't report me. Anyway, I don't know how old this first video is, but my mother (yes, that's how cool I am) told me about it and I thought it was fucking hilarious so I'm sharing it with you good people. It's a little girl explaining Star Wars (A New Hope) and it's pretty right on. She covers the main characters, including Obi Kenobi, the guys who put the robots into a garage sale, and the "Signy Guy" who is friends with R2, as well as the important plot points. The next video is of a little boy singing Hey Jude. He skips all those excess verses and repetitive choruses and gets to the real heart of the song, condensing it to about a minute and a half, all while holding (playing, if you use the term loosely) a guitar and wearing a diaper. Both these kids are around 2 or 3. And hey, they're capable of more than I was at that age. When I was 3 I took 15 minutes to put on Velcro shoes.

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Tuesday, April 7

Vermont is for lovers, too!


Iowa really does set precedents.

Read the Fox news article here. (Why, yes, I did just link to Fox News.) The funnest thing to read is the comments. The first one: "Gay Marriage is wrong." The second begins with: "EQUALITY? This is coming from the Homosexual Army that is stealing anything related to tradition or family and calling it their own." A homosexual army??? We actually have one of those? WHERE CAN I JOIN?!?!?

Viva Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, and IOWA.

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Straight From Her MySpace

Lindasy Lohan and Samantha Ronson are officially over for now. However, the statement from Lindsay aired on E! News and not her Myspace page, where she has vehemently been dispelling rumors of break up after break up. She says they are taking a break so she can "focus on myself." I get it. You probably need to go to rehab again. It happens. NBD.

Amidst rumors of drugs and alcohol and restraining orders, Lohan was not permitted to enter a party the Ronsons were throwing for Charlotte, a Margot Tenenbaum clone, and Ronson's sister.

Don't worry, it was probably just a lot of standing around and looking bored. That's one celebrity family's party I would not want to be invited to. However, Reverend Run's family bar-b-q is a completely different story.

Lohan's Father, since he is also such a reliable source, issued a statement saying the relationship had "gotten very toxic" and that Lohan made a "healthy decision" in taking a break. Oh well. No more makeup sex for them. I just wish I had a nickle for every picture they are fighting in. I mean, if I had a girlfriend who never smiled and looked like she never slept, I would probably always be in a fight as well.

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Backlash? Of Course There's Backlash.

You've Already Lost. Bitches.

Just in case you missed it, "No Senator McKinley, I will NOT co-sponsor a leadership bill with you."

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Saturday, April 4

Iowa is for lovers... No Really. It is.

So my first post on this was erratic with typos and paragraph breaks where one should never put a paragraph break. I apologize. I just had to put the news on the interwebs. I'm still a little shocked that there isn't as much news coverage as California got, but maybe that's because our Iowa gays like to fly a little low. We don't have a West Hollywood, if you know what I mean.

But the rally was amazing. It was long. It was chilly. But it didn't really matter. Iowa was a little gayer on Friday than I've ever seen it.

There were books to sign to support the supreme court, and some of the speakers said that they wanted to make them part of Iowa's permanent historical records and on dispaly in Des Moines. I signed it, as did all of my friends. And I can't wait to come back with my family in 10 years and see my signature.

My roommate and I were standing there and we just looked at eachother and couldn't beleive it. She said somehting I hadn't even thought about. History books. There were cameras everywhere, taking pictures all over the place. These are going to be in American history books. So, when juniors in highschool suffer through APUSH, we might be in those photos.

I was just thinking on a much personal level. After every semester, I print off photos I pool from friends and my own and put them in really nice photo albums. All I could think about was how I couldn't wait to put those in there.

So, here they are. Because the spectacle speaks more for itself than anything I could come up with. I know that I claim I'm a writer, but this is one thing that leaves me wordless.

Click to make them bigger... they're prettier that way.

This is also Mauro Heck's Flickr feed of the event. Friends and I are also all over this...

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Friday, April 3

Hell Yeah Iowa

Well who's proud to be in Iowa now? That would be me. After Tennessee disappointed me a while back by voting to make gay marriage unconstitutional (hey, you know, they'll get there. 1 in 4 people voted to not make it unconstitutional - and for TN, that's a fucking lot. Just give it time) I was a tidge ashamed, but I'm liking the place I'm living now!

Not only did the Supreme Court make gay marriage constitutional, but the ruling was unanimous. UNANIMOUS. And that's cause they went about it the smart way: by leaving religion at the door. This is a decision about CIVIL marriage, and according to Iowa justices, there is no constitutional reason to limit civil marriages to hetero couples (Um, duh, but yay anyway). They granted that it was up to each church to decide whether or not they would allow gays to participate in religious marriage ceremonies, which is, you know, the way shit is supposed to be - with the church and the state not interfering with the other's business!

And just to press the point, they were granted full rights to civil MARRIAGE. Not a civil union; gays are allowed to be married, not united. Language matters, people. There's something symbolic about saying that you are allowed to be "married" rather than just allowed to sign some papers. Good fucking job Iowa.

Oh, and on the celebrity side (because I have to): Ashton Kutcher (Iowa native) tweeted about the decision this morning. He said: "Ia was the 1st state 2 allow inter-racial marriages. Lets hope gay marraige(sic) sticks aswell(sic) & we don't over ride w/ a state const. ammendment(sic)." Soon after this, he responded to a friend who asked, "What makes you so passionate about this?" by saying "I have many gay friends and think the deserve equal rights." So good fucking job Ashton as well, I guess. Rally tonight to celebrate; where's my "Love is Love" rainbow-colored t-shirt??

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Today the Iowa Supreme Court ruled unanimously that marriage is no longer restricted to a man and a woman.

you gays. It's happenning. there's a rally today that me and Katie D. are attending. I'm more in shock right now. I'm sure I flood with emotion later. here's the Des Moines Resgister article with the breaking news.

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Thursday, April 2

Holy Abs Emmet/ Leave Robert Alooooone

Kellan Lutz, better known as Emmet from Twilight, was apparently tired of being the overlooked guy on the set. Hey, he's a vampire too, and he's supposed to be the big bulky sexy one - so what's the deal with Edward and Jacob getting all the attention? Is he not, he asks, just as hot as them? Um, yeah, apparently he is. These are some just glorious pictures of him from a photo shoot with Flaunt magazine, to which I apparently need a subscription. I now have a new background for my laptop and a new appreciation of headgear.

In other Twilight news, the bitches at LifeStyle magazine are claiming that R Pattz is being a jealous little bugger because Taylor Lautner is getting all the attention in the new movie. They say his star is dwindling and he's ever-so-concerned, and also he's jealous because his sweetheart Kristen Stewart is hanging more with Taylor than with him.

Not to question the undeniably astute minds behind LifeStyle, but do these bitches think? 1. Why would Robert suddenly be surprised about Taylor having the lead role? Dude has read the books, and Edward is pretty much gone for the whole thing. It would be a non-issue, especially because 2. They are pretty much GUARANTEED to make the next 2 movies, both of which star Edward more than Jacob (to my everlasting chagrin). So I'm doubting that Robert is worrying his pretty little head over anything. Oh, and by the way, 3. Kristen Stewart has a boyfriend, and it is neither Taylor nor Robert but some lucky dude named Michael. And I'm doubting that either Taylor or Robert, who has been linked to several pretty girls on his own, has any trouble getting women.

The only thing Robert might have the sads about is that there have been rumors going around that he hates showering and always smells like ass on the set - which again doesn't make any sense, because he hasn't even started filming yet. So yeah, he is upset about that, and he's one of those sensitive artsy types who is super insecure anyway, but come on - let's not make drama where there is none. I know this is a blog where we talk about celebrity dirt a lot of the time, but let's treat them like people, shall we? I mean, everybody talks about people behind their backs, whether it's friends or celebrities, but to just make up shit about them is uncalled for. And if it bugs me, someone with no tangible ties to these people (other than the love in my heart), imagine how it must suck for them. Yeah, some of them wanted to be famous, but for a lot of these kids, they just wanted to do cool movies and see themselves onscreen - not have their private lives splattered throughout the tabloids. They're not even in their mid-20s, for Chrissakes - Taylor and Kristen are younger than me, and I'm practically an infant. I'm with Chris Crocker on this one.

Anyway, I'm off my soap box. Enjoy some more Kellan Lutz pictures! Click to enlarge... you know you wanna!

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Wednesday, April 1

Oprah and Gayle

Today, in an article in her magazine, that will soon have our friend Ellen on the cover, Oprah made the statement:

“Gayle and I have been friends for a really long time. But, the fact that we were more than friends has been speculated for years, and, once and for all, I wanted to be true to myself and Gayle and say that yes, we have been partners for more than 10 years.”

But, what about Steadman? You ask. Well, Oprah has an answer for that as well:

“Steadman knew from the beginning. He was just such an important part of my life that I couldn’t cut him out. I think he was the one who always knew but was kind enough to let me figure it out myself.”

As for Gayle, she is silent on the matter, but is busy calling Babeland in order to get her hands on strap-ons and other goodies to give away to audience members in the coming weeks.

I can’t wait to hear Oprah yell: “HHEEEEEEEEY OH! You get a silicon dildo! And YOU get a silicon dildo! And you get a silicon dildo!”

My dream has come true.

Just kidding… APRIL FOOLS!

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