So I've recently, thanks to My Sister, become a big Joshua Radin fan. I think his voice is nice and his songs are pretty and mostly I think he's really bold for writing consistently sweet, unapologetically romantic love songs. Yeah, you can call it sappy, you can say that he's not particularly "masculine" for being so in touch with his feelings - but I say that for him to over and over again say, "I'm going to write a song that puts my fucking heart on the line, and I'm doing it with pride, and I'm doing it well," takes guts. So kudos, dude.
The thing about Joshua Radin, though, is that while I like his voice ok on its own, I am not a huge fan of his solo songs. I mean, they're fine. They just lack some oomph. If you want oomph, though, look no further than one of his many couples songs. Not since Damien Rice have I loved guy/girl duets so much, but Joshua Radin does it in a much less want-to-slit-your-wrists sort of way. So while of course this is a MM and I do want to give Josh his due, I also tip my hat to the lovely ladies he sings with in these videos: Ingrid Michaelson, Priscilla Ahn, and Schuyler Fisk. You should probably buy all of their albums. Enjoy some of the videos; my favorite song is "Paperweight." (BTW the video quality is crappy - they were taken by people at concerts. Apparently Josh doesn't believe in music videos. Luckily they don't do much on stage, and you can still hear the songs just fine!)
And this is just the cutest thing ever. Not his song, though.
Man, my MM's are all over the place recently. And you're correct in guessing that I know almost nothing about rap. But I've still got something to say!
So this MM I'm still gallivanting across Europe with my good friend The Bro (My Sister just went home, very sad) and maybe, just maybe, I'm a little bit homesick for the dear, sweet company of CK, J Bear, and Boy Roommate. I think that's where this MM comes from. See, after watching the video CK posted of Lady Gaga and Beyonce'sTelephone 5 times (that is a 9.5 minute video. That is a lot of minutes.) I decided I should compare and contrast it with the artists' former work, to see any patterns or interesting differences, so I then watched Video Phone (their other collaboration) and what I considered to be the pinnacles of their personal video-making forays: Single Ladies (ONE OF THE BEST MUSIC VIDEOS OF ALL TIME YELLS KANYE) and Bad Romance, which made everyone's (ok, my) fingers curl up like monsters in delight when they saw it. All three videos are posted below.
(Sorry the video quality isn't great. Beyonce is apparently into disabling embedding on her videos, and I'm not savvy enough to figure out a way around that. Go to YouTube and watch the official ones if you want better quality.)
So then on my video hunt I got super nostalgic for the old days (11 days ago) when my roommates and I would sit in our living room for hours, drinking Franzia, watching videos, talking, and listening to the same songs over and over and over forever and ever amen. And recently we'd been watching/listening to a lot of Jay Z. So obviously I had to pull up and watch four times On to the Next One. Here it is.
Right before my trip I was getting Jay Z'd at from every angle - both from the fact that everyone in my house decided to listen to it and it was played at my work - and I was upset because fucking homeshare wouldn't work (stupid Apple products) so I couldn't take any before I went. I mean, I could solve this problem by buying some of his songs. But who does that? Anyway, Jay Z seems like a nice enough guy and he is very in love with Beyonce, plus I feel like they're both brilliant business people and I think they're a cute power couple, and it doesn't hurt that his songs are pretty great too. So for all of the above reasons, whether they make sense to anyone else or not, this Masculine Monday goes out to a guy who has never had a problem with a bitch, 99 other problems though he may have had, and who is from the Empire State of New York, and who would like you to bring him back some money, please. Kudos!
Oh and then obviously because I'm crazy and love YouTube I found this video of him talking about Beyonce. He has a really dry sense of humor, which made me like him even more (because I communicate mostly using sarcasm). PLUS his interviewer is British! What could be better?
Lady GaGa, my heart of hearts, my goddess, my queen, you've done it again.
If you're a consistant reader, I think you know how much we love Lady GaGa at Dyxieland. I mean, you can track my beginning doubt, thinking that she was just using sex to sell records. But now I realize she's not just using sex to sell records. She's using sex to CHANGE THE WORLD.
I was not a huge fan of Beyonce and Lady GaGa's Videophone collaboration. In fact, I still think they are a jankity collaboration team. I mean, Beyonce will never ever be as avante garde as Lady GaGa is and Lady GaGa will never ever be as cool and hip as Beyonce is. Even though she does deliver one of the sexiest adresses of Beyonce I have ever heard in...DUHN DUHN DUHN.... the new Telephone video.
This shit has been hyped online for months now. It finally premiered last night and everyone was trying to watch it online. Every site that posted it basically crashed. I'm going to go ahead and say it now, but nothing has been this anticipated or as big of a pop culture event since Michael Jackson's Thriller. So, here, for all of your viewing pleasure, is Lady GaGa's Telephone Video.
So I was scouring the interwebs to watch this thing and I want to personally thank Nawlins Luvah for sending me a link. It didn't work, as it was one of those sites crashing, but here I am to tell you what I think.
I watched it and at 1:11 the OMGOMGOMGs commenced. Thus, forcing J Bear, who was off galavanting with Boy Roommate to come running into the room. And guess what... it was her and not me who was the first to say "This is the queerest thing I have ever seen." Everything about this video is super queer. From the ultra feminine drag persona of GaGa herself to the butch prison guards, to that genderfuck inmmate she makes out with (hot) in the prison yard. The leather and studs. GaGa fronting the camera, challenging you to accuse her of having a dick again. ("I told you she didn't have a dick." "too bad...") Can we also talk about the cigarrette glasses? EPIC.
She doesn't even start singing until 3 minutes into the video. Hence, the Thriller comparison. Then, she continues her whole image, her whole gig, the whole IT thing, with the caution tape sequence. The style and video effect of that scene is exactly what the video montages in The Monster Ball looked like. I've also never thought a Honey Bun so sexy. And that makes me uncomfortable.
The only thing I really like about Beyonce in this video is that Lady GaGa refers to her as "Honey B." So don't hate me for not talking about Beyonce that much. To me, they just don't work together and Lady GaGa steals the show. Beyonce all jerky and remixed just does not work. However, if they could wear more American Flag outfits, I'd be ok with that. Also, I find it fascinating that Lady GaGa's use of the word "motherfucker" does not get bleeped out, but Beyonce's does. So, basically, you're telling me Beyonce doesn't curse, and therefore she obviously doens't poop or fart or eat. Thanks, everything makes sense to me now.
The product placement in this video also blows my mind. From Miracle Whip to Verizon Wireless. I was so annoyed at first becuase it is so obvious. But I think that's the point. GaGa realizes she is capable of crashing the internet by releasing this video and she realizes that companies want their shit to be a part of network-crashing video releases. So I think, I hope, that the blatant product placements are on purpose and are tounge-in-cheek and are completely self-concious. I freaked when I saw the coke-cans-in-the-hair-outfit. Then I realized oh, those really are Diet Coke cans. Oh man, I WANT A DIET COKE. Salon.com has a quick article labeling Telephone as one giant commerical, because shit won't pay for itself these days. But GaGa also endorsed a line of chic, designer condoms. Exactly. Using sex to change the world. (See how I brought that back?) Salon.com also has an article on this. So, I think she's aware of the power she has and the fame she has, and if you revisit some of the themes we talked about in our Monster Ball posts, I am of the opinion that the Telephone video as giant commerical is actually rather subversive and tounge-in-cheek because it is so blatant.
And closing remarks: "OMG. Are they going to drive off a cliff?"- J Bear.
If they do, I hope I'm packed in the trunk. Because I am still all about it.
Side Note by Katie Dee: So while I watched this video and took extremely detailed notes on it like a week and a half ago, I'm just now getting them up here. I'm sorry. I hope it's worth you checking the post every hour on the hour up until right now!
Thoughts on Telephone (this is sort of like what I did with the Grammy's, so if you want to follow my crazy thought train, having the video playing in a window next to the text would make that easier): 1. I feel that this is an inaccurate portrayal of prison - although, I notice, it is "Prison for Bitches." 2. Gaga is the most extreme Pink Lady ever with Coke cans in her hair. 3. Monster hands! 4. They are so channeling Michael Jackson. And Moulin Rouge. 5. Whatever brand of lipstick they use, I should buy it, because that shit doesn't move. 6. I love Beyonce. 7. Why "Let's Make a Sandwich?" Don't care, that dance is awesome. I love the bites. And claps. Claps and bites! 8. See, I don't think the bleep of B's "motherfucker" signifies that she's supposedly "pure." I just think it's a way t show their personalities. Gaga is so in-your-face in every way, and B is slightly more reserved. But will still poison your food if you fuck with her. 9. Why is this in German? 10. The american flag outfits are genius. How did Gaga get Beyonce to go along with this? 11. Any time Gaga sings "sippin that bub," I'm super amused. 12. Pussy Wagon? Hahaha! 13. And it exits with the female symbol. Be still, my feminist-ass heart!
So that's my flitting thoughts; over all, I liked the video, and I thought both women did well, and although I agree with CK that they're a jankity pairing, I don't know that I think that's a bad thing. I love Gaga's continued playfulness - the full-frontal at the beginning was very funny, and I really hope nobody still thinks she's a man, though I know as I type this that some people do - and I'm happy that she's just, as far as I see it, doing what she wants with her music and her videos. I didn't see the video as all that queer, per se, but I did see it as super-feminist. Of course, sometimes these ideas overlap, and Gaga is both, so it probably just depends on the perspective you come into it with. And my perspective is ALWAYS "So what does this say about women?" And this video says that women are, to quote someone who wrote on our wall, "Stone-cold badasses."
Also, because I'm currently obsessing over Pomplamoose (they have a new CD on iTunes which you should all buy which is just covers of famous songs. It's very fittingly called "Tribute to Famous People." BUY IT.) here is their video cover of "Telephone." I like it!
So I told Joogly Bear that I wouldn't make John Mayer my Masculine Monday for at least a little while, but I couldn’t help myself. I've been listening to "Battle Studies," his new album and the subject of much debate at my house, over and over again recently, trying to develop a real opinion on it; plus he was recently on Storytellers on Vh1 and I really enjoyed that. Oh AND you may or may not have heard about this on every media outlet for the past few days (or, for the people who still read magazines and in particular those who read Playboy, though why you would be on our blog if you read Playboy is beyond me) but he also recently did this REALLY REALLY EPICLY STUPID interview with Playboy in which he said, just, SHOCKINGLY dumb shit. Here are some highlights (which have been highlighted all over the place but here you go again)!
On how he hasn't dated lots of black girls: My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke cock.
On the fact that black people like him (apparently): Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?' And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass?
On Jessica Simpson: Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just fucking snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.'
On the media and his relationship with Jennifer Aniston: There was a rumor that I'd been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn't it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she's still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, 'These are the new rules.'
Ok. So. Yes, there was more to the interview. And personally, I think the stuff that's been over-quoted has also, in some cases, been taken out of context. For instance, I don't think he means anything against Jennifer Aniston with the 1998 comment; he was talking about celebrities' relationship with the media, and how she wished it were simpler (read: no Twitter) like in 1998, and he's just accepting that it is what it is. I think he genuinely has a lot of love for her. For instance, after he started talking about how great Jessica Simpson was in bed, he interrupted his interviewer to say:
Pardon me for interrupting. I love Jen so much that I’m now thinking about how bad I would feel if she read this and was like, “Why are you putting me in an article where you’re talking about someone else? I don’t want to be in your lineage of kiss-and-tells.”
So I mean, obviously the guy lets his mouth run away with him, but he did try to reign it back in for the sake of her feelings. Which of course nobody notices, because nobody bothers to read the whole article (it's very long - here's the link if you want to read it yourself). Other than the stuff that is so obviously and blatantly inappropriate or over-the-top, basically what I get from the interview - and all I've ever gotten from any John Mayer interview I've ever read or seen - is that this guy knows he's talented, and he really just wants to be liked, but he's trying too fucking hard to be liked/appreciated/accepted. And what I honestly believe is his earnest determination to be liked and to be funny ("My Stupid Mouth" anyone? Third song on his first studio album and he's already saying, "Just wanna be liked, just wanna be funny/looks like the joke's on me) comes across, to many people, as being a huuuuuuuge douchebag. Which is understandable.
But I have to confess something to you. I still love him, and I feel like I always will. I care too much about his music to give up on him.
My affection for John Mayer started, as so many things did, back in 7th grade. "Room For Squares" was his only studio album at the time, and I wore that CD out TWICE. I loved his voice, I loved the way he wrote, I loved that he wrote about stuff that wasn't just love songs - though his love songs were really excellent, too. At this point, I've seen him in concert three times (he gets better every time and he was really good to begin with) and I own all his CD's, including the pre-Room for Squares "Inside Wants Out." Even though "Room For Squares" and "Continuum" are my faves, I still have songs I love from both "Heavier Things" and "Battle Studies," and I will continue to listen to his music as long as he writes it. And his personal life… I mean, it makes for good music. But here's my point: he is crazy talented. He knows he's crazy talented. But his songs - "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room," "No Such Thing," "Split-Screen Sadness" - they speak more than some douchey interviews - or a thousand douchey Tweets - ever could.
The fact is, he's apologized profusely for the interview, both through his Twitter:
"Re: using the 'N word' in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it's such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there's no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged. And while I'm using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it's time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews. It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it's gotten out of hand and I've created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don't have the stomach for it. Again, because I don't want anyone to think I'm equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.I just wanted to play the guitar for people. Everything else just sort of popped up and I improvised, and kept doubling down on it..."
and at a concert in Nashville, where he was basically in tears and said "I just want to play my guitar."
Personally, I take his apologies at face value and I think, in context, a lot of the things he said make more sense and are slightly less inflammatory. I'm not supporting any sort of racism, I don't believe he meant the racial remarks he made (and I agree, he shouldn't have used that word) and I also think it's less-than-classy that he went on about his and Jessica's sex life, but in the context of the entire interview those two things were not the point. And yeah, he's a bit of a douchebag. Well, I'm sort of obnoxious. Chatty Kathy can sometimes be abrasive. People are allowed to have flaws.
But for the love of God, John. Take your own advice, pick up your guitar, and stop fucking talking.
So here's the thing about the Lady Gaga concert. It was immaculate. It was well-thought-out from the opener (Semi-Precious Weapons) to the Michael Jackson that she played while the stage was set up (people - read: me and Lil Sof Sof - were singing and dancing to "The Way You Make Me Feel" and "Thriller" in a lit auditorium with a whole bunch of other singing strangers) to the dancers - who were characters more than anything - to the finale. The woman IS musical theater. This is what people don't understand. Any time I hear someone say "I don't get Lady Gaga," I think two things: 1. "I hate you," and 2. "That's because you aren't gay enough." I, however, am a gay man, so I get her just fine.
So CK covered basically the first half of the concert, and I'll do my bit mostly on the last half. My thing about the concert is that it was all so ENJOYABLE - even songs that I didn't like when listening to them on the CD (See: Alejandro or Dance in the Dark) were so well done and so entertaining that I sang along and cheered, and left the stadium liking them. Basically the whole concert was me and my friends singing along, cheering, and dancing. I don't know how she did it, but the whole time, even though I was in an auditorium full of people (Side note: kids at Purdue would not last two hours in the bars in Iowa City. Their "going all out" for the concert is like wearing stuff that I would seriously consider wearing to the bars. Neither LSS or Jbear were wearing pants, and my skirt was so short I basically wasn't either. It's ok though, we all had tights on, so it doesn't count.) I felt like it was a very personal experience. She talked to us as if we were a group of people who had come together not for a concert, but for some sort of social movement. This was particularly true when she shouted "ARE YOU LISTENING?" to the audience, echoing her moving speech that she gave at the Gay Pride rally in D.C. Like I said, if you don't get gay culture, you won't get Gaga - the experience was just her embracing who she is and who her fans are and giving them a show made especially for them.
Ok, to be less vague, I'll break it down by songs. "Monster" was one of my favorites and is a new obsession of mine, but CK's spoken about it already so I'll just agree that it's wonderful. "Just Dance" (aka The Ballad of the IC Bars at 1:00 am) was so much fun, and was well-placed at the beginning of the show;"Teeth" was fucking sexy and I'm thrilled she included it because that song is raw and animalistic (like the screens she was dancing in front of); "Boys Boys Boys" allowed her male dancers to dance shirtless in pants and suspenders, and that was just, you know, awesome. In between all these songs were her speeches and calls for cheers - "I'm a little like Tinkerbelle - if people don't clap for me, I die" - and, my favorite part, the story about seeing fans hail each other in Boston. Apparently she was riding in a car, and next to her was a car full of fans, singing Gaga music at the top of their lungs. She rolled down her window and looked out at them, waiting for them to see her, but they didn't. Then, from another car going by, as they heard the Gaga music pouring out of the first car, more fans acknowledged mutual Gaga love by sticking hands, curled into claws, out of their window as they passed; and thus, the claw, and the "Little Monster" greeting was born. We cheered and showed her our claws, in appreciation of the story. The moral of which, by the way, is ALWAYS BE ALERT, BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN LADY GAGA IS JUST GOING TO SHOW UP IN THE CAR NEXT TO YOU.
Just Dance
"Speechless" was probably my favorite song of the evening. She came out with a huge, busted-ass looking piano, and the performance was just emotional and gorgeous. I think the most amazing part of being a performer would be to have your audience sing parts of a song back to you, and she had us do that with this song. I mean, the song is already about her dad, and convincing him to get life-saving surgery, so hearing thousands of people sing back your words about such a heartbreaking/heartwarming subject - it must've been ridiculous and moving. She did "Paparazzi" and we decided that there must've been some sort of technical difficulty, because we assumed that she was supposed to end up hanging from the top of the stage (she was in the process of being lifted up there and then they kind of chickened out) but she didn't; so she just went offstage and we stood there for a few minutes, cheering, ready for the encore. I mean, she hadn't sung "Bad Romance" yet, so the show couldn't be over. So then finally the woman comes out IN A GLOWING ORB (like Glenda the Good Witch in Wicked - like I said, she IS musical theater) and says, "You didn't think I'd leave you like that, did you?" No Gaga, we didn't.
Glowing ORB
So then we're expecting "Bad Romance," and she jumps into "Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)," probably the poppiest song she's done and one of my favorites. I definitely wasn't expecting it, because it's not like it was a single or anything, but it was great to hear it - at the end of the night, we said that she had sung every song we'd wanted to hear. After that, of course, was the money. She sang "Caught in a bad romance," and as if we weren't nuts enough already, we froke the fuck out. She said something to the effect of, "I'm going to give you what you deserve, Purdue" and the "Ra Ra Ah Ah Ah's" started, dancers cavorting around her, sky-high heels on, orb gone, just fucking performing. Disregarding the incredibly annoying tall guy who was standing in front of me taking pictures of him and his pocket-sized girlfriend in front of the stage, the performance was, as always, flawless. I may be able to put up video clips later, if I can get them from J Bear when I get back in town (I'm currently in CA.)
Bad Romance
At the end, like the theater kid she is, she came out with the entire "cast" of dancers and took a stage bow. You know, people think she's ridiculous, but really, I think she just really understands what she's doing. Her whole persona is about fame and spectacle, and it's like her life is a fucking piece of literature because of the ties she makes from performance to performance to CD to music video to speech to her fucking outfits- her life, her performances, have themes, which she cultivates and encourages. How many times has she used a burned piano? Masks? That monster claw (models of which, by the way, were covering her burned piano when she sang at the Grammy's with Elton John)? The lines about needing applause, about how she wants to be a star? She knows what she's fucking doing. She doesn't just want attention; she's building her outrageous persona for a purpose. I can't wait to see what she does next; the music industry had better catch up.
Final bow
Side note: Like Chatty Kathy, I too have a new boy roommate. This is because we live in the same house. And I'd like to state officially that I think having a boy roommate is SO FUN. I don't have a whole lot of experience living with boys - my mom didn't remarry til I was 17 and I don't have brothers - but (and of course this is in no way meant to insult the lovely women I've lived with before, including L Dubs who Boy Roommate has replaced while she studies in Australia) I am truly truly enjoying the experience. Boy Roommate and I do all sorts of fun things together - he makes me watch basketball and I cheer when they score touchdowns, I make him watch Real World: D.C. and he cheers when it is over. And we watch Jersey Shore together and shush anyone who dares speak while it is on. We are both looking forward to the Puppy Bowl, and he encourages me to drink copiously on Fridays even though he knows I work on Saturday mornings. Plus he knows I am up for cuddles and/or hugs whenever, though oddly he almost never takes advantage of these offers. It's a lovely relationship. Of course, I don't share a bathroom with him, and CK does, so that's a whole nother story. I bet it smells like boy products. Nice!
You GAYS! We saw Lady GaGa. We did it. Mission accomplished. Now, to tell you all about it. I don't even know where to begin. We saw her a while ago at the Purdue show she rescheduled. You can read about that disaster here. It's taken me this long to get my shit together because my mind was basically BLOWN. My brain once weighed 3 pounds and was the consistency of tofu, now, my friends, it's mashed potatoes and has lost some weight since I can't find the bits splattered on the floor of Elliot Hall of Music. Lady GaGa is the most dedicated, sincere, weird, creative, ballsy, sexual performer I have ever seen. And little do you know, Cher's first farewell tour (Living Proof.) was my very first concert. (I'm gay.)
Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start, when you read you begin with A-B-C, when you sing you being with Do-Re-Mi, when you talk about Lady GaGa you begin with Ro-Ma-Ma. Her opening act was a band called Semi Precious Weapons. Their job was to basically get us "wet with excitement" for Lady GaGa. Yes, that is a direct quote from the lead singer who asked to see tits, then when that didn't work some cunt, then got naked on stage for a costume change. We were berated with demeaning names ("whores," "motherfuckers") we were constantly told to shut up. I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. And the best part is Jason Derulo was in Canada. One more reason Canada is under rated. Here's a picture of the Fairy Queen lead singer who is more of a man than you and more of a man than Katie Dee will ever get and one of the few men I'd probably sleep with.
So then it took her forever to get on stage. I was personally terrified it'd get cancelled again. The first time, it wasn't real until we were in the doors and our tickets weren't fakes we bought off eBay, but the real thing (that we bought off eBay). But this time, I wasn't going to believe it until she was on that stage. The stage is really basic and really industrial. It was so basic and there was so little going on that I didn't know what to expect. There was a scrim hanging in the front of stage area and that was really essential to the show because it all depended on lights and video/art installations. The stage was basically this: Then, this video turned into this:Yep, that's the pure Lady GaGa with what I interpret as a dark, troubled version of herself straddling that then sticks its fingers down its throat and vomits blue puke on the pure angelic version of Lady GaGa. Thus, the introduction of the theme of inner-torment. I have never been to a show that was so cerebral yet so entertaining at the same time.
Minimal right? Well, the bitch had about 7 costume changes and in between these really intense video installations would play. The show never let up. It never stopped. It was relentless. Even when she wasn't on stage, these video portrait art things were so engaging. You were constantly bombarded with stimulation. Oh, backtrack, the show opened with this trippy projection of this tweaky grid on the scrim and a countdown. It was more exciting than New Year's Eve! There's smoke, there's flashing lights, then there she is. In a light up, skin tight body suit. She's all glowy and outlined in lights. It was fabulous. Oh, and P.S. I have not squeezed my butt cheeks harder or screamed louder at any show in my entire life. I think my flat ass gained a little donk, if you know what I mean. So these video installations were part photography, part video, part fashion show, part story telling, part stop-motion animation. She was real jerky and real weird.
Also, this show is not for children. I mean, yeah Britney and Christina and Justin and N*SYNC and Whitney (BOBBAY) all have shows with sexual themes. But I mean, it's one thing to take your tween to one of those shows and have the sex either go over their head or talk with them about vanilla hetero-sex. But it's a completely different car ride home when you've taken your tween to a Lady GaGa show and you have to explain gender fluidity, queerness, sexual freedom, and the utter loneliness of fame. That's some heavy shit. Most. Awkward. Car ride. Home. Ever. Pictured above is one of my favorite parts of the show. You can't really see it here, but it was basically a big dagger-like silhouette that engulfed the stage's screens. It was just so cool.
My other favorite was the Monster set:
For such a minimalistic, industrial set, there was quite an intense nature theme throughout the whole thing. Here, her dancers are dressed like crows and you can see the band and she has this great feather thing on. When she sings "he ate my heart, he a-a-ate my heart" the dancers gather around her and her she screams and flips a shit (any excuse for a costume change Lady GaGa) and then emerges in a completely different outfit with a big blood spot on her chest. They literally ate her fucking heart.
Some of my other favorite things about the show were what GaGa was saying. We now quote her in my house all the damn time. You can occasionally hear us yelling from down the street: "Take my picture Purdue, I want to be a star!" or "Do you think I'm sexy? I don't believe you..." or "Sing that Dirty Word Purdue!" or "People say that I have a huge dick. Get your cocks out. I hear there's some huge cock at Purdue." She opened with that line and my immediate reaction was YES! YES I WILL GET MY HUGE COCK OUT. DON'T YOU FUCKING WORRY. I'm sure our boy roommate really appreciates us not letting him watch sports downstairs and constantly yelling dirty things. He's slowly learning what the GaGa is all about. (P.s. it is so weird living with a boy. I'm sure I'll post about that later.)
Anyway. I'm going to pass on the GaGa reviewing to Katie Dee. Get it grrrrl.
I'm still processing the show and will probably build off of Katie Dee's post. What I've mentioned above are the highlights of the show for me. I danced the whole time. I yelled "Oh My GAWD" several times. And my favorite outfit was her red latex bikini with a police hat.
Written while I watched. Like live-blogging, but less technologically savvy and also not in real time because I Tivoed it and watched it without commercials. Enjoy my brilliant observations.
1. Lady Gaga continues to prove to me that she is perfect in every way. I loved the hands on the piano, I loved that Sir Elton John joined her, I loved that she had soot on her face, I loved it all. She is fucking amazing, her performance (like the concert, which we will write about eventually) was flawless, and I'm not sure how she didn't fall down in those shoes. 2. Stephen Colbert's opening speech was uncomfortable. I did like him telling his daughter to stay away from Katy Perry though. Who BY THE WAY is engaged to Russell Brand. WHAT? I mean, ok, when I think about it they're kind of perfect for each other. But it's still SO WEIRD. 3. I'M THRILLED "SINGLE LADIES" WON SONG OF THE YEAR. THE GLITTERY NYMPHS REJOICE. 4. Why did JLo almost cry when she introduced Green Day? 5. Also, on the Green Day thing: I'm not sure what I think about American Idiot being made into a musical. When that album came out my punk-rock friends liked it for long enough to gush about it to me and have me listen to it on repeat (YES LIBERTY SPIKE AND ARGUMENTATIVE GUY, THIS DID HAPPEN), but soon they got too punk for that shit and started listening to monsters and stuff and denied ever having liked the album and furthermore have now renounced Green Day's old stuff as well (I will never stop loving "Welcome to Paradise" or "Long View"). I, on the other hand, still think it had some pretty decent songs, though I want to kill myself every time I hear "Boulevard of Broken Dreams." Anyway, I don't know what to think about this musical. On the one hand, I love musical theater. On the other hand, Green Day seems to be going further and further away from their roots. On the other hand, I'm not sure that I care if they go away from their roots. On the other hand, I'm not sure that I care enough to form an opinion about this at all. 6. I cannot wait until that "When In Rome" movie is out of theaters so that I will STOP SEEING KRISTIN BELL AND MR. FERGIE PROMOTING IT. Also, was he high or something? He was not doing well with that teleprompter. 7. Taylor Swift's acceptance was super cute. I'm glad she won and accepted that "impossible dream." That was touching as fuck, and she looked fabulous. 8. Who knew Simon Baker was Australian? That makes him SO MUCH HOTTER. 9. Beyonce is fabulous and I will never stop loving her. I loved when she grabbed her crotch at "better man", her Alanis cover was great, it's fantastic that she has a girl drummer, and the bitch has great legs. Plus, that song gets me every time; it's one I listen to on repeat when I'm feeling soulful. It happens from time to time. Also LOVE that she's married to Jay Z. He was so cute when he clapped for her performance. 10. When did Pink decide to do every performance in the air? I mean, it was pretty and everything. And fucking impressive. It's just a very odd gimmick. Plus it's BOLD that she does it basically naked. I'm liking how strong women in music are right now - I mean, even Katy Perry and Taylor Swift, totally poppy as they are, are in control of themselves in a way that I don't think people like Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson ever were. So many strong ass bitches in popular music right now, and I LOVE IT. 11. I sort of like Miley Cyrus now. It really started when she dropped her Twitter, and continued when I heard about an interview she did where they asked her about "Party in the U.S.A." (which, for the record, I hate) and they asked what song she was thinking about when she wrote the line "The Jay Z song was on" and she basically said, "Dude, I didn't write that fucking song, I don't listen to pop music or Jay Z, I have no idea what that was about." Obviously this is not an exact quote, but the attitude I get from it is kind of the same as I got from the erasing Twitter move - she's not thrilled with being the pop star anymore, and she's starting to do things her own way when she can. I like it, Milers. 12. I really like that "I'ma Be" song and I LOVE Fergie, but I think Will.I.Am takes himself waaaaay too seriously (if you don't believe me, take a look at his NAME) and I'm confused as to what the other two members of the Black Eyed Peas actually do. As far as I can tell, the terrifying American Indian looking guy is there to look scary (it's the ridiculous cheek bones) and I kind of forget the other one is there. Fergie luv 4evr. (More strong women…) 13. I like middle Jonas' haircut and glasses. 14. Who is this Lady Antebellum band and why did nobody tell me about them before? I liked that performance. 15.That man who introduced the Best Comedy Album with Kayley Cuoko has a hot accent. Also Kathy Griffin should've won that shit. 16. I FUCKING LOVE RINGO. I like Norah Jones too but I LOVE RINGO. ("I hated the Philippines.") 17. I think that Kings of Leon guy was the first person to thank God tonight. 18. Robert Downey Junior is cool as shit. 19. Wait, that "Blame It on the Alcohol" song is Jamie Foxx? I had no idea Ray Charles sang that song. I sorta like his outfit though. 20. Oh hey Doug E. Fresh! Also I didn't know what T Payne looked like. I think I sort of assumed he looked exactly like T.I. Probably because they have the same first name. 21. SLASH? 22. Ke$ha looks like a prostitute and Justin Beber is a pocket person. 23. Why is McVet at the Grammy's? 24. LOVE YOU TAY. She's not awesome live, though. I feel like she is always super tone-deaf live. Still, she could not be cuter. 25. Lionel Ritchie has won 4 Grammy's? The 80's must've been weird. 26. Why on earth do they assume that people just have 3D glasses at their house? This Michael Jackson performance is pissing me off. Also Jennifer Hudson needs to re-think those bangs. 27. THE JACKSON KIDS ARE ONSTAGE. THIS IS SO WEIRD. WHICH ONE IS BLANKET? THIS IS SO WEIRD. WHICH ONE WAS DANGLED OVER A BALCONY?? THIS IS SO WEIRD!!! Oh God, those poor kids. Those cannot be his bio kids. That's so weird. Those children have been covered in blankets up until a couple months ago, no wonder they can't speak in public. SO WEIRD. 28. I don't care about Bon Jovi. Why are they pushing this vote on the song thing? Fast forward, TiVo. 29. Mos Def should enunciate. 30. Mm I LOVE the version of "Ego" with Kanye. But I like Rihanna and Jay Z too. And that kid they brought to the microphone is CUTE. He should announce all the rest of the awards! 31. Fast forward through Mary J. Blige, fast forward through old white guy talking, definitely watching Adam Sandler. Definitely watching Dave Matthews Band. Fantastic performance. Also, I loved him on that one episode of "House." 32. Ricky Martin and Lea Michele together? Gay man's wet dream like fuck. SHE'S GORGEOUS. 33. Beyonce's dress is made of beer tabs. That child sitting next to Jay Z is a STAR. 34. I love that his name legitimately stands for "Ladies Love" Cool J. We do, we do. 35. Fast forward fast forward fast forward - Quentin Tarantino? Popped collar? What is going on in front of me? 36. Hahaha Travis Barker is playing with Eminem and Lil Wayne? And they were intro'd by Quentin Tarantino? Whoever planned this is a GENIUS. Also I kind of like this song. And I like the shameless self-promotion that's happening on Lil Wayne's shirt. "Listen to Lil Wayne." Subtle! 37. Why do I love Eminem so much? I feel like this goes back to like 7th grade. But I do. I DO. 38. God these guys love grabbing their crotches. I don't know who Drake is. But I like that Jamie Foxx is singing in the audience. 39. OH MY GOD THEY'RE HUGGING. THEY'RE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS! 40. Beyonce is the prom queen of the music world. In the best way possible. 41. Why did Taylor Swift win Album of the Year? I love the girl, I think she's talented, but 1. I preferred her first album (it was much less poppy) and 2. She was up against LADY GAGA. And Dave Matthews. And Beyonce. And even the Black Eyed Peas! Come on. Still super sweet and super cute, and adorably grateful, but I don't know that I agree that she should've won.
And that's the end of the night, my friends. I liked most of the performances, and definitely all the ones I watched all the way through (I got tired at the end. Sorry.) and I guess I agree with most of the winners. Now I'm going to go have pleasant dreams about the middle Jonas' new haircut and that one guy with the Spanish accent. I hope you do, too.
This is your warning: if you are a die-hard Glee fan, you may be pissed at this post. Happy New Year.
Ok so here's the thing about Glee - I loved it. When the pilot came out in May, I thought it was the most incredibly unique, brilliant, talent packed show of the season - I watched the pilot itself five times. When it came back on in the fall, we (of course) Tivo'd every episode, all of which I watched more than once (and the musical scenes even more). I even made a list, tentatively to go on the blog, about the "Top 11 Reasons I Am In Love with Glee," which I've posted here:
"TOP 11 REASONS I AM IN LOVE WITH GLEE:
11. The background music. I know it's a small thing, but it sets the mood for the show so much. 10. Vocal Adrenaline. Yes, I realize that they're the competition for the glorious New Directions Glee Club, but the two numbers we've seen from them have been impeccably choreographed and danced and had really interesting vocal arrangements. Don't tell me you don't love the partner work, because you know you fucking love the partner work. 9. Puck. YOWZA. 8. Any time Will Schuster sings. Or raps. Or dances. 7. Finn's awkwardness, and his short jeans (because he's poor! Such attention to detail!) 6. Emma. She is so cute, and so obsessive compulsive, and is the voice of reason on the show. She always talks Will into doing the right thing, but she's really messed up herself emotionally. For instance, she is a total germophobe, and is in love with a married man (I mean who can blame her? Schu is hot and his wife is craaaazy! But still, bad choice.) Plus, she is a hilarious guidance counselor. When talking to Rachel about bulemia: Rachel: "I guess I just don't have a gag reflex." Emma: "One day, when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift." How true. Then, later, "Rachel, bulemia is a very messy, serious disease," "messy" being the more important aspect of the disease. Hilarious. 5. Mercedes and her big girl voice, especially when she busted the fuckin windows out of Kurt's car (no, CK, I don't care if you don't like this song). She starts the season with an assertion of her Beyonce-ness ("I AIN'T no Kelly Rowland") and then proves it. She doesn't get too many solos, the first being in Showmance when she is the soul to Schuster's rap in "Gold Digger," but when she does she BRINGS IT. 4. Any time Sue Sylvester speaks. Jane Lynch deserves an Oscar. Yes, I know the Oscars are for movies. 3. Kurt Hummel and the football team dancing to Single Ladies. 2. Rachel Berry and the joy she clearly has every time she sings. Every time I replay "Don't Stop Believin'," I watch for the moment when she turns to Finn, absolute, pure happiness spread across her face, and sings to him about how "everybody wants a thrill." That's not acting, that's just Lea Michele being absolutely in love with what she's doing, and that's beautiful. 1. Every song they sing in practice, performance, tryouts, or as expressions of their teenage angst."
Ok, so I still believe everything in that list, but here's the thing - the show's gotten stagnant. It has. And that makes me very, very angry. Look, the show has all the potential in the world - it's an interesting idea, it's got a great cast, and it's got a bunch of good, solid characters who could potentially be taken in interesting directions. But the writers don't rely on what they have. They don't rely on their characters being interesting enough to drive the show; instead they use stupid, over-done, over-dramatic bullshit plot points that make people go "OHMYGAWD I NEED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!" rather than just letting the show move organically from one conflict to the next.
Example: Schuster was in a shitty marriage; Terry was already a fucking nut. And she was a nut who was actually pretty fun to watch. Then they had to go and make her pretend to be pregnant. Why? Who does that? Nobody - it's unrealistic, it doesn't give Schuster enough credit as a character, and frankly it's condescending to the audience. Why is it condescending to the audience? Because it says, "You, audience member, are not clever enough to watch Schuster go through some sort of realistic realization that he has fallen out of love with his wife, so we have to push it in your face that the marriage is doomed. Not only that, but we also know that you're not going to pay attention to the show unless things are exploding around you every four seconds, so we have to make the characters do something RiDiCuLoUss to make sure you keep watching. Oh, and we've set it up so that Emma and Schu will end up together at the end of the season, and because you are a stupid television viewer, you're not going to be satisfied if, like in real life, things don't end up with the guy you want with the girl you want, so we're going to cater to what we think you want and make them kiss at the end of the last episode of the season. Now sit quietly while we shock and amaze you."
Same thing for Quinn being pregnant. Same thing for Puck being the father. Same thing for Emma getting engaged to Ken, and him leaving her at the alter! This shit didn't need to happen! You know what? People are interesting. That's why we watch shows about them and read books about them and gossip about them all the time. The writers set up great characters, then didn't let them grow and learn - they forced them to stay one-dimensional. Don't agree? Then why, WHY do they keep learning the same lessons over, and over, and over again? Yes, in real life, sometimes we need to hear things more than once to make a real change. But they learn packaged, 7th Heaven, neatly wrapped up lessons in one episode, then learn them AGAIN the next episode and AGAIN the episode after that. Finn decided at the end of the PILOT that he was going to do football and Glee, because they both made him happy. What a fucking cool thing for him to do, and what an interesting way for that character to define himself. Except, oh wait, every other episode he decides AGAIN whether or not doing Glee is worth losing his reputation. Also, I don't believe that there is a single high school in the United States that is full of enough unimaginative dicks that there are consistently going to be groups of the same people (THE JOCKS) making other groups of people (THE GLEE KIDS) miserable over and over again without getting fucking tired of it. How many times can they have the same conversations about how the Jocks hate them, and how many times can the Jocks throw slushies in peoples' faces? Get a new bit. And how many times can Schu suspect Sue of something, and how many times can she plot against Glee club? And, by the way, how many times can people tell Rachel how much they hate her and only like her because of her voice? HAVEN'T WE GOTTEN OVER THAT YET? Treat your characters with respect, Glee writers. Don't make them repeat themselves ad nauseam, actions or words.
Ok. So all that being said, there are a few things that I found truly lovely in this season of Glee. For one thing, as CK wrote about before, the episode where Kurt comes out - particularly in that beautiful moment with Mercedes - was really well done. Similarly poignant, Sue's scene with her developmentally challenged sister was really great. I also liked the interaction between Artie and Tina. These little things make the show for me so much more than the over-blown dramatic twists, because they're grounded, and they allow the characters to be more than paper dolls strapped into one character trait. But even though these lovely moments do happen, they're 1. overshadowed by the drama, and 2. pretty much forgotten about as soon as the episode is over. It's like a different writer does every episode - no character learns any lessons that stick, and things that should be consistent episode to episode - lingering feelings from one character to another, stuff like that - are often ignored once they're brought up. Nothing builds from one episode to another.
But again, some of the quirks in the show - like (in the pilot) when Finn is walking and there is timpani music playing in the background, and then he walks in front of the timpani players? That's interesting and cool - really do make it worth watching. And while we're being complementary, the singing is great; "Don't Rain on My Parade" was just superb. Lea Michele deserves every bit of praise she gets. And I can never say enough good things about Jane Lynch.
Yes, I know TV isn't supposed to be realistic. I love TV, and I support it not being exactly like real life. But honestly, give me smart TV - don't just give me shit that you think will thrill and titillate me. Bring Glee back to where it was in the beginning, and build off what was, originally, a really solid foundation.
Oh and here are some of my favorite musical clips. I had to.
Yeah Mercedes, you bust those windows.
Joyful.
Will is HOT. Emma and Rachel's reactions are totally understandable.
Just remarkable. Personally I stop watching after "Don't Rain on My Parade" because, I mean, you can't beat it.
If stealing children weren't a felony, these would be the two I'd be after. Don't report me. Anyway, I don't know how old this first video is, but my mother (yes, that's how cool I am) told me about it and I thought it was fucking hilarious so I'm sharing it with you good people. It's a little girl explaining Star Wars (A New Hope) and it's pretty right on. She covers the main characters, including Obi Kenobi, the guys who put the robots into a garage sale, and the "Signy Guy" who is friends with R2, as well as the important plot points. The next video is of a little boy singing Hey Jude. He skips all those excess verses and repetitive choruses and gets to the real heart of the song, condensing it to about a minute and a half, all while holding (playing, if you use the term loosely) a guitar and wearing a diaper. Both these kids are around 2 or 3. And hey, they're capable of more than I was at that age. When I was 3 I took 15 minutes to put on Velcro shoes.
So as a good television watcher, I of course Tivo the Ellen show just in case she has someone interesting on that I want to investigate (see: obsess over). I've sort of had a thing for John Mayer since I was in 7th grade - because, see, no one understood me and I just had sooooo many feelings - and he's still one of my favorite musicians, despite all these pesky rumors that he's a total douche in real life. Plus, Josh Groban had that one song that was kind of neat and I also find his voice rull purty, so I'm interested in him. So naturally, when I saw that Ellen was having JM AND JG on her show, I had to check it out.
Well the show started out well with a gorgeous duet by Ellen and JG (above) singing a romantic and touching song. It continued with Ellen's regular humor, a little of JM being a douche, and finished up with a FANTASTIC Grammy-themed game of Celebrity (one person holds up a pic of a celebrity over their head and the other person has to get them to guess who it is) courtesy of JM and Ellen. (Then they sang "Just Dance" in Ellen's bathroom.) But really, the game of Celebrity was ah-mah-zing. John Mayer knows his shit! He sang parts of songs from all the people he was hinting for, and he immediately guessed almost all the ones Ellen was hinting for. It was pretty damn cool and I was impressed. Clip below (and hey, it has Japanese subtitles if you're interested!):
Gospel choirs are known for their spirit, lively music, and really awesome voices. Ghetto gospel choirs, I would assume, would be known for all of the above, but maybe with a tie to more modern music than spirituals. Elderly ghetto gospel choirs are known by me for their thrilling rendition of Ridin Dirty. I'm really excited for when they come out with their version of Single Ladies!
I cannot stop listening the The Ting Tings. Their catchy beats coupled with a slight hint of a British Accent makes them irresistible. When me and my friends are getting ready to go out we just put on “That’s Not My Name” and go to town. It’s kind of like Kate Nash’s voice with a little attitude of Garbage and if the Eurhythmics were happy. So all in all a good mix of the evolution of British pop music. And with lyrics like "Fed up with your indigestion./Swallow words one by one./Your folks got high a quarter to five./Don’t you feel your growing up undone." it actually has some substance to it and interesting phrasing. Coupled with catchy hooks The Tings Tings are a cocktail of hipster fabulosity.
I first heard about them when P!nk (who I'm convinced is a gay lady no matter what anyone says) was doing promo’s on MTV, where music has become a commercial break instead of the whole point of the channel. She fleetingly mentioned the The Ting Tings as what she listens to. So I decided to investigate. I made a good life choice listening to P!nk. Maybe I’ll start fight as well.
Too bad embedding their videos is disabled... so here are some links...
Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles wrote a song for Hotel Cafe's Winter Songs collection that highlights female singer/songwriters (My FAVORITE). Now, the compilation has Katy Perry on it, but there is always a delete key and the proceeds go to charity. So you should buy it. I did this morning and coupled with my Sufjan Stevens Christmas CD, my day has been a little less Scroogey. Others on the cd include KT Tunstall, Meiko, Fiona Apple, Kate Havnevik, Priscilla Ahn, Colbie Caillait, Brandi Carlile, and others. Basically, it's the shit.
So, Katie D. fucking loves the song "Womanizer" (WOOMANIZAH). Every time I get in the car, I pray that it will come on the radio. Every time I'm down, I sing the chorus softly while holding myself and everything is suddenly better. I've watched videos of her live performances of it, which are all exactly the same, but that doesn't stop me from watching them all the way through. I was that girl who talked about how AMAZING Britney looked naked in the video.
This said, I obviously love any take on the song that makes it something new (except this Lily Allen version, which was the less-electrical-sound-effects version, aka the less-what-makes-the-song-good version) - like the Joel McHale one on The Soup. God he's great. Anyway, just in time for Christmas, here's the Ebeneezer Scrouge version. Oh, do enjoy, good friends.
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Then, this video turned into this:
Yep, that's the pure Lady GaGa with what I interpret as a dark, troubled version of herself straddling that then sticks its fingers down its throat and vomits blue puke on the pure angelic version of Lady GaGa. Thus, the introduction of the theme of inner-torment. I have never been to a show that was so cerebral yet so entertaining at the same time.
Pictured above is one of my favorite parts of the show. You can't really see it here, but it was basically a big dagger-like silhouette that engulfed the stage's screens. It was just so cool.
