MASCULINE MONDAY: Neil Patrick Harris

I feel like this MM should have happened a long time ago. But now that I'm doing it, I'm doing it right, with an extremely excessive amount of videos.

The thing about Neil Patrick Harris is this: there's just so much to love about him! He is comedically wonderful. He sings beautifully. He's gay and out and completely normal about it. AND he takes on great roles, and does them so well that it's just... I mean... he... I love him.

About two and a half months ago I started watching How I Met Your Mother (I'd seen a couple episodes but really dedicated myself to it in April). Since then, I've finished all five seasons. A lot of this was driven by my love for NPH. The thing about him that I love most on this show is something that I think is very WRONGLY ignored: his knack for physical comedy. Everyone's always focused on him being gay but playing this womanizing (hilarious) asshole, and while he does this very well what I think he's really great at is using his body, his face, his entire persona to react to situations. For instance (and it took me FOREVER to find a clip that wasn't just him saying "LEGENDARY" over and over again. Come on guys, it's funny on the show, but who wants to watch 3 solid minutes of that?), here is a clip of him as Barney Stinson eating Chinese food:



Please, if you don't watch the show, I am begging you out of selfishness because I want it to be on the air forever: watch it. Watch it now. And, because he's not the only funny guy on the show and I want to give some credit to my second favorite character, here he is with his castmate Jason Segel (Marshall) being AWESOME. And singing. Les Mis. (This one goes out to my sister):



But the real reason he's my Masculine Monday today is because of this gem of the internet that I just saw for the first time on Friday and have since watched three more times: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It is a gorgeous glorious musical masterpiece (written/directed by Joss Whedon, of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame and beloved by me) that Joss and friends did during the writers' strike a few years back (LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THAT). Joss has previous musical experience only with the Buffy musical episode (great TV), and in my opinion he did a tremendous job. And of course NPH was the gem-surrounded-diamond-encrusted-platinum-lined tragicomic hero, Dr. Horrible. Basically, the story is that Dr. Horrible (Billy) is an evil scientist who is trying to break his way into being a true Super Villain and at the same time muster up the courage to talk to the pretty girl at the laundromat, Penny, all while facing constant irritation by his arch-nemesis, Captain Hammer. And it's a musical. I now give you the gift of the first seven and a half minutes of this masterpiece.



Oh, and here's another song, just because I like it:



Other reasons to include in my list of "Why You Should Love Neil Patrick Harris" are shown in video form below.

1. He's totally cool with his sexuality, and he thinks other people should be as well, but he balances it by not being a crusader and not wanting to push people to do things they don't want to do. I love this attitude. Please to watch:



2. He was Mark Cohen in Rent for a while (my favorite character. I love Mark so much!). That's reason enough to like anyone, in my opinion. Here's him singing "What You Own" (one of my favorite songs from the show):



3-6. He's friends with Ellen! He helps raise money for cancer! He prank calls celebrities! Did I mention that he's funny?



I guess that the point I want to leave you with, at the end of all this, is that while I'm happy to be an ally to any gay, I would really prefer that NPH not be gay. I'd like him to be at LEAST bi. Because, really, at this point, the chances of us getting married are not very high. That makes me sad. To cheer me up, here's a clip of him doing an Old Spice commercial in which he references his Dougie Houser days (aka the show I'm about to watch all 97 episodes of before August). Enjoy enjoy!

Ivan Coyote

So BetseyBetsey showed me this interesting queer performer, Ivan Coyote, yesterday and I was too busy doing really important things at my really engaging job to give her feedback, so here it is, complete with a nickname.

Ivan Coyote is a Canadian storyteller. So what happens on stage isn't exactly spoken word, but stories told aloud to an audience. I'm not sure if Ivan Coyote identifies as transgender or as a butch lesbian, so out of respect I'm going to use gender-neutral pronouns. Look at how progressive I am.

Ivan writes about childhood in the Yukon territory and ideas circulating in the queer community. The stories don't really address the politics of being queer, but what it means to be butch and femme and queer: ideas of self-representation. JBear and GayBear and I were having an interesting conversation about what genre of the opposite gender we would be. Apparently, I'd be a beard-sporting, plaid-wearing, bio-diesel van driving, Birkenstock aficionado. So, basically me with a beard. Anyway I watched a bunch of performances of Ivan on YouTube and there's two great pieces, one thanking femmes and the other on "what it means to be butch." It's basically a "what I did last summer" for masculine women. Both videos are great. So great, I've posted them below.

First off, what a cutie little Canadian accent. I love that the definition of a femme enables the definition of a butch. And that being a feminine lesbian is, at times, harder than being a butch(ish) lesbian. It's playfully serious. Because when you decide to come out, you are going to have to learn how to laugh. Shit gets funny.

Now, let's compare and contrast. What basically sums this whole story up for me is when Ivan says "be the man you wish you'd slept with in high school." That makes a lot of sense to me. If you're going to be a butch, masculine lesbian don't be a man's man; Be a lesbian's man.

These two performances, and Ivan's ideology, are a testament that gender is socially constructed and that words can be what you choose to call yourself, or what you let people call you.

One of Ivan's short stories has been turned into a short film. It also is an exploration as to what gender is. Check it out, it's called "No Bikini."

This makes me want to parent my hypothetical children in the most unabashed new-age, montessori style. She wasn't trying to be a boy, it's just that no one asked and it didn't really make a difference.

Check out the website here to learn more.

A Very Tall Masculine Monday

So one of my friends here in England told me about a beautiful website, tvshack.net, where I could watch American TV in my spare time when I'm not exploring London or doing homework or having the batteries changed on my door (about to be the fourth time in almost as many weeks!). You see, even though in the U.S. you can watch network shows on the internet, evil evil television corporations make it so that the licensing whatchamacallits (by the way, that word was not flagged by my spell-check, which gets mad at me when I don't capitalize the word "TV") don't allow people who are abroad access to their online archives (FOR SHAME television people! How am I supposed to survive if I don't know that Jin and Sun live happily ever after?), so this tvshack thing is really, really wonderful.

She told me about this site so I could start my relationship with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, about which I've heard only good things, but unfortunately I don't have enough time to devote to a new TV show right now - maybe next month. Anyway, I did use this miraculous God-send of a website to catch up on one of the shows I really loved in the U.S., but which I haven't been able to watch for a while: Community. This show is fucking funny - I think the characters are well-written and the casting of Chevy Chase was absolutely brilliant - but I'd be lying if I said that I started watching the show for any reason other than Joel McHale, who is, of course, today's Masculine Monday.

I've had major hots for Joel, who is a tree-like six feet four inches tall, since freshman year when I first discovered The Soup, the show he hosts on the E! Network, and when he started promoting his new sitcom I had to jump on board. And if you don't typically trust my taste in TV (although I'm not sure why you wouldn't; I have excellent taste), guess what? Ronfire likes it too! There's something for everybody! You all should watch it! Anyway, Joel is wonderful, and here are some clips of him.

This first clip was watched by me and JBear pretty much every day for about a month when we were freshmen.


This next one is Joel fighting a bully on Community, played by Anthony Michael Hall, continuing their string of John Hughes references. (He was the geek in The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, and Weird Science, but then a couple years later he bulked up and came back to play the bully in Edward Scissorhands (which of course was Tim Burton, not John Hughes, but my point is that he's the bully). Again, clever casting.)


And these next two are mostly because I really love Troy and Abed (Donald Glover and Danny Pudi).

Masculine Monday: Presidential Edition

So while deciding today's MM, I briefly considered making it the 1980 Olympic Hockey team because I just watched the movie Miracle today, but then I realized that I haven't yet given big O his due for finally getting shit done this week! It seems like, since he first got sworn in (actually, since he first got voted in) Obama has been working constantly but not making any particular amount of progress. Then, BOOM, this week he comes out getting done not only health care, but also signing legislation that helps college students get loans and puts some checks on the banks, and signing off on new off-shore drilling, AND putting in much more stringent regulations on fuel efficiency in new vehicles, AND going into nuclear arms agreements with Russia.

Now, I'm not super pleased about the off-shore drilling because, I mean, I'm just not particularly in favor of more drilling, particularly in fragile underwater ecosystems (I'm a tree-hugging liberal), but at the moment I'm willing to trust that he knows what he's doing and is using the drilling to distract Republicans into voting for better environmental legislation in the long run (because from everything I've read/seen about this off-shore drilling, it's a very short-term fix and won't even be a viable source of energy for a few years. So it's like, dude, what's the point? I mean, it has to be a chess move. It has to be). But all the other stuff? Reducing arms in two major nuclear powers, helping our population become more educated with less debt, helping the ill afford aid, and decreasing the U.S.'s impact on the environment on a major way? Not a bad freaking week. PLUS there was actually an increase of a few hundred thousand jobs in March, which shows that we might slowly be climbing our way out of this recession.

Obama, it took you a year for us to see some of the change you promised us, but at this point, I like what you're giving me. Keep up the good work. (I like your railway idea too - let's do that after you put some major restrictions on banks and credit card companies. Ok?) So in what I hope will be the first of many Masculine Monday: Presidential Editions, I say kudos and keep going, and for God's sake let's keep a Democratic Congress this fall so the progress doesn't get backtracked, because the Republicans are being nothing if not unhelpful. And on THAT ridiculously partisan note, goodnight.

Masculine Monday: Joshua Radin!

So I've recently, thanks to My Sister, become a big Joshua Radin fan. I think his voice is nice and his songs are pretty and mostly I think he's really bold for writing consistently sweet, unapologetically romantic love songs. Yeah, you can call it sappy, you can say that he's not particularly "masculine" for being so in touch with his feelings - but I say that for him to over and over again say, "I'm going to write a song that puts my fucking heart on the line, and I'm doing it with pride, and I'm doing it well," takes guts. So kudos, dude.

The thing about Joshua Radin, though, is that while I like his voice ok on its own, I am not a huge fan of his solo songs. I mean, they're fine. They just lack some oomph. If you want oomph, though, look no further than one of his many couples songs. Not since Damien Rice have I loved guy/girl duets so much, but Joshua Radin does it in a much less want-to-slit-your-wrists sort of way. So while of course this is a MM and I do want to give Josh his due, I also tip my hat to the lovely ladies he sings with in these videos: Ingrid Michaelson, Priscilla Ahn, and Schuyler Fisk. You should probably buy all of their albums. Enjoy some of the videos; my favorite song is "Paperweight." (BTW the video quality is crappy - they were taken by people at concerts. Apparently Josh doesn't believe in music videos. Luckily they don't do much on stage, and you can still hear the songs just fine!)











And this is just the cutest thing ever. Not his song, though.

Masculine Monday: Lawrence O'Donnell

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

So recently, as you may have noticed, I have been attempting to educate myself on the Health Care Bill, which Yahoo!News informs me has just been passed yesterday. So well done on that, Democrats in Congress, you actually got something done. Anyway, in doing this I've been spending a lot of time on the MSNBC website (don't worry, I'm also getting out and enjoying London. This is just when I'm crashing from exhaustion at the end of a day of walking EVERYWHERE with our astounding tour guide/cultural activities coordinator, Tony, who is a walking British encyclopedia of everything from London history to the medicinal properties of moss. You know what? Tony gets an MM too!)watching recent (since March 3rd) episodes of Countdown with Sadly Not Keith Olbermann because of his Dad's Recent Illness and Passing, and standing in for Keith is the stalwart Lawrence O'Donnell. Now, my immediate reaction to anyone hosting Countdown who is not Keith is "YOU'RE NOT KEITH," followed by pouting, but Lawrence has wormed his way into my heart. This speaks to his journalistic abilities, his excessive liberalism, and of course his affection for Jon Stewart. While there is no one who could replace Keith, Lawrence doesn't try to - he has his own style, which, while somewhat more reserved, is actually quite fiery and something that I can truly appreciate. He's going on my list of Older Dudes I'd Tap, I think. Congratulations, Lawrence! Oh, and the above clip is Lawrence giving some love and tenderness to Jon Stewart as he mocks the truly mockable Glenn Beck.

Masculine Monday: Jay Z!

Man, my MM's are all over the place recently. And you're correct in guessing that I know almost nothing about rap. But I've still got something to say!

So this MM I'm still gallivanting across Europe with my good friend The Bro (My Sister just went home, very sad) and maybe, just maybe, I'm a little bit homesick for the dear, sweet company of CK, J Bear, and Boy Roommate. I think that's where this MM comes from. See, after watching the video CK posted of Lady Gaga and Beyonce's Telephone 5 times (that is a 9.5 minute video. That is a lot of minutes.) I decided I should compare and contrast it with the artists' former work, to see any patterns or interesting differences, so I then watched Video Phone (their other collaboration) and what I considered to be the pinnacles of their personal video-making forays: Single Ladies (ONE OF THE BEST MUSIC VIDEOS OF ALL TIME YELLS KANYE) and Bad Romance, which made everyone's (ok, my) fingers curl up like monsters in delight when they saw it. All three videos are posted below.




Beyonce - Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) [Official Video]
Cargado por Yannicklord. - Videos de música, entrevistas a los artistas, conciertos y más.

(Sorry the video quality isn't great. Beyonce is apparently into disabling embedding on her videos, and I'm not savvy enough to figure out a way around that. Go to YouTube and watch the official ones if you want better quality.)



So then on my video hunt I got super nostalgic for the old days (11 days ago) when my roommates and I would sit in our living room for hours, drinking Franzia, watching videos, talking, and listening to the same songs over and over and over forever and ever amen. And recently we'd been watching/listening to a lot of Jay Z. So obviously I had to pull up and watch four times On to the Next One. Here it is.



Right before my trip I was getting Jay Z'd at from every angle - both from the fact that everyone in my house decided to listen to it and it was played at my work - and I was upset because fucking homeshare wouldn't work (stupid Apple products) so I couldn't take any before I went. I mean, I could solve this problem by buying some of his songs. But who does that? Anyway, Jay Z seems like a nice enough guy and he is very in love with Beyonce, plus I feel like they're both brilliant business people and I think they're a cute power couple, and it doesn't hurt that his songs are pretty great too. So for all of the above reasons, whether they make sense to anyone else or not, this Masculine Monday goes out to a guy who has never had a problem with a bitch, 99 other problems though he may have had, and who is from the Empire State of New York, and who would like you to bring him back some money, please. Kudos!

Oh and then obviously because I'm crazy and love YouTube I found this video of him talking about Beyonce. He has a really dry sense of humor, which made me like him even more (because I communicate mostly using sarcasm). PLUS his interviewer is British! What could be better?

First International Post! And It's Masculine Monday!

Buongiorno de Italie! Or however you would say that in a grammatically correct fashion; I am not Italian and I only took French in school. My sister and I are doing our best, though, and usually when we try our pitiful (PITIFUL) Italian, the nice locals will respond in English to make us feel less stupid, and to help us buy their products. Good business sense! Anyway, I'm currently in an Internet Café, and it's our second day in Florence. On our first day, we got lost looking for the fancy restaurant we had reservations at, and ended up in this tiny pizza place. At first, we were disappointed. Then we tried the food and swore off all American pizza forever and always. IT WAS AWESOME. Apparently in Italy, even the tiny, 5 Euro pizza joints serve AMAZING FOOD. If you ever find yourself in Florence, stop by La Ghiotta (Via Pietrapiana, 7r. I don't know what that means; I believe it's an address. It's on their card.). (Also, my favorite moment of the evening was when my sister got her food like 10 minutes before me, then finished it, and I still didn't have my pizza. Then our waiter walks by like four times. On the fifth time, he stops, looks at the order that he had written out and placed on our table, and shouts "He forgot your pizza!" I DIED.)

Anyway, so the first MMer is a guy we met on the plane: Matteo. He is an Italian guy who had just lived for a year in London "to improve his English," but also because after that he got a job working as an internet marketing person. He talked to us for the whole plane ride and taught us how to pronounce basic Italian words, and he wrote down the names of foods we needed to try. He was very adorable and he had a straw hat on that said Mad(rid) About You! and he was wearing an inexplicable fanny pack and was super nice. We taught him about the American education system and he taught us that Italians value cars so much that sometimes they will spend all their savings on them. He also said that it was strange, to an Italian, that we didn't live at home anymore, because for them it's difficult to leave their mamas' good cooking. We said it was difficult for us too, but that was just how American culture worked. He seemed a little sad for us.

So to sum up, Thanks Matteo, we would be much more pathetic without you!

Ok. So to have a second MMer that goes with the theme of past ones (aka is not just some dude I met), but because I am not tied into pop culture right now, as the hotel I'm staying at is, let's say, quaint (cute and cozy, but not so much with the technology) I'm going to pull out an old favorite and give him some new credit: Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd is Joogly Bear's favorite person; she is in love with Mike, Phoebe's husband from friends. Paul is the star of many great movies, including Clueless, I Love You Man, Role Models, and the movie he was in with Jennifer Aniston which no one has ever heard of except me, The Object of My Affection, in which he plays a gay dude who Jenny is in love with. GREAT FILMS. In Paul's honor, please go rent or buy or steal one of his movies. And here's a clip of him on Jon Stewart for your viewing pleasure. Ciao!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Paul Rudd
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Reform

Oh and fun extra treat I found on the daily show website: Paul's back, and he has a NEW DANCE!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Paul Rudd
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Reform

FIRST SPORTS MASCULINE MONDAY EVER

So I realize that it is no longer Monday but I am no longer in Iowa City; yesterday I made a 9 hour drive back into the humid comfort of the South and Thursday - which is far too soon, given everything I have to finish up - I will be leaving the country to "study" abroad. Basically, Katie D.'s taking a three month field trip to Europe! I'm very excited, and I plan to continue writing from the other side of the pond, but this is my long-winded explanation for why I didn't post yesterday. In short, shit was nuts. But I'm here now, and I'm going to talk about sports. Prepare yourselves.

Now if you know me anything better than as a stranger, you'll know that my knowledge of sports is, let's say, "not extensive." When Boy Roommate told me that I'd be missing March Madness by going abroad, he needed to explain what sport that meant (basketball). My ex, who is from Chicago, used to get angry at me when I could never remember who Mike Ditka was (I believe he has something to do with football). I'm not sure what "bracket" means. The only basketball players I know by name are retired (aka I only know them because they were in Space Jam). I think you get my point.

Anyway, in a burst of roommately affection and tenderness (and because it was Boy Roommate's birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY! TAKE A SHOT!), last week I decided to watch the U.S. team play hockey in the Olympics with BR and CK. Of all the sports I could watch, I actually enjoyed the hockey. For one thing, it reminds me of the Disney movie Miracle, which I like very much. For another thing, it's not ridiculously complex, or at least I could still understand the gist of what was going on even if I don't know the actual technical rules. (Puck in net = goal. No puck in net = no goal. Plus they have a big buzzer that goes off when you score, just in case you missed it!) Also, it's sort of pretty. They move very gracefully in a big, burly, knock-people's-teeth-out way. And finally, it moves at a very fast pace and there aren't a lot of breaks, which means I'm much less likely to be bored than with some other sports (I'm looking at you, baseball, football, and golf!).

So while we were watching these Olympic games, I noticed one player in particular, who I can ACTUALLY NAME OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP: Ryan Miller. He was the goalie (goal keeper? Keeper?) for the U.S. team, and he was a BADASS. In the first game against Canada he faced 45 goals and blocked 42 (ok, so I looked up the stats. I'm not a machine. I'm still proud I knew his name). That's a lot of shots on goal to face - in comparison, he only faced 11 against Norway and 18 against both Switzerland and Finland. Clearly Canada's offense was also full of badasses, but even in the face of this Miller blocked 93% of their shots. THAT'S RIDICULOUS. This impressed me. I was more impressed when he continued to kick ass and take names in the following games that we watched, even though we didn't ultimately end up victorious. He, though, was named MVP for the tournament. For this badassery, Ryan Miller, even though you guys didn't get the gold, in addition to your MVP status I award you one of the coveted spots as a Masculine Mondayer. Congrats on being the first sports-person here. You may not find yourself in good sports company. Now excuse me while I go watch a musical.

MASCULINE MONDAY: Mike from the Real World

So I don't usually watch the Real World but for some reason this season I'm hooked. I think I can place some blame on CK for this one, because she enables me by watching it with me and then talking about it like it's the most fascinating thing that was ever created (let's face it, we enable each other). Anyway most of the people on it are forgettable (there's the musician chick who I hate the more she speaks, the one brunette who's kind of stupid and the one brunette who's super abrasive, the blonde one, the douchebag dude, the douchebag black dude, and Panda) but my favorite by far and the focus of today's Msquared is Mike, the bi/possibly gay guy from Colorado. He is super cute in an Abercrombie sort of way (I think he looks like Matt Damon) and he works with HRC (Human Rights Campaign for the non-gay) and he LOVES his boyfriend Connor (I believe this is his name. I don't pay enough attention. It's not like it's Jersey Shore. AKA something REALLY IMPORTANT). Anyway Mike's been grappling with his sexuality for a few years now and, in my opinion, seems to be pretty together on the show, though his roommates are constantly bugging him about how he's GAY and not BI and they can't deal with him being bi - but he sticks up for himself, and I think is fairly confident in his sexuality. Personally, I don't give a fuck if he's gay or bi, and I don't see why they're pushing it so hard. Just let him be. If he likes boys, cool. If he likes girls, cool. If he wants to make out with me, so be it.

Anyway, the reason I love him particularly today is because CK and I just watched the new episode, in which his family comes to visit and he really comes out to them in a new way - particularly his mom. Apparently his parents had been kind of encouraging Mike to keep quiet about his sexuality, which obviously made him feel like they didn't approve of/understand/accept it. So he brings his mom to meet his boss at HRC and they have lunch and talk about all the issues in the LGBT community (she didn't even know what this meant, which to me was just amusing and shocking because I can't even conceive of not knowing what LGBT means. Again for the non-gay: LGBT = Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) including marriage and adoption, among other things. It was so sweet how hard she was trying to understand him and his new world-view, especially when they were talking about adoption. He said something about how it was illegal in many states for gay people to adopt, and her response was, "Well I still want grandchildren, so we'd better change some laws." CK and I exploded.

Mike just seems grounded, sure of himself, sweet, thoughtful, and not a character-type like many of his RW peers. PLUS he still is religious, which is not exactly my thing, but you know, he's standing up for what he believes in and isn't sacrificing his sexuality or religion one for the other. Good on you, Mike. I encourage you to make out with as many dudes as will make you (and Jesus) happy. I will watch.

Sidenote: CK- Mike's BF's name is Tanner. I know this because unlike Jersey Shore, this is important.

I'm Attracted, and That Makes Me Uncomfortable

So good Masculine Monday morning to everyone. The above picture is the reason for my being turned on and simultaneously creeped out. So I'm a big, big fan of Christopher Walken, because he is an incredible actor and, furthermore, he's fuckin nuts. I have not, however, ever had a crush on him because, well, it's Christopher Walken - he's, you know, a little on the creepy side. But then Joogly Bear pointed me to this really... (write it!) hot picture of him from DListed. We're basically in agreement: he was definitely very very attractive, but that also makes us very very uncomfortable because while he looks very different he also looks EXACTLY THE SAME.

And to show you why I am not attracted to him as he is now but why I still love him with all my heart, here he is doing a dramatic reading of Lady Gaga's "Pokerface."

Garfield Was Right About Mondays

So it's Masculine Monday and to be quite frank I'm not in the greatest mood today. No, I don't want to talk about it. But I realize that everyone gets in these funks and so for this MM I want to pay homage to two men (in a manner of speaking) who always make my day better in one way or another. One is an old friend, one is a new friend.

OLD FRIEND: J.J. ABRAMS



I know what you're thinking. "You only like him because he's Jewish!" No, that is only about 56% of why I like him. The other reasons I like him are because of LOST, one of my favorite TV shows ever which I am currently and obsessively re-watching in our attic while doing a Santa puzzle (SUPER NORMAL) and because of the new Star Trek movie, which I also have also been watching on repeat since I got it for Christmas (THANKS MOM!). I love that movie so much I watched the director's commentary - that's right, I did, and it was fucking fascinating. It was a whole bunch of tech guys talking about shaking the camera and what was on green screen and what was animated and I was RIVETED. Anyway, J.J.'s "writerly obsessions" (as my writing teacher Jenny Bagel referred to them), as far as I can tell from these pieces of fucking art, are 1. Sci-fi, particularly Time Travel (I went with obvious first) and 2. Outcasts, people who feel alone; people who are looking for a reason to matter. Well I like Sci-Fi and I like interesting characters, so J.J.'s ok with me.

NEW FRIEND: THE T-REX FROM QWANTZ: DINOSAUR COMICS!



I am currently reading the entire Qwantz archives. It's a great project. I always like finding comics that prove that some people out there have just as fucking weird a sense of humor as I do. This T-Rex is hilarious. The comics are always in the same format - like, the same pictures every day, but with different words - and the T-Rex's expressions are always hilarious. It always seems like he's yelling the final panel, and I'm a generally loud person so I find that yelling something can make it even funnier than speaking something does. Also, when you mouse over the comic itself, a little box of text pops up that makes the comic even MORE amusing because it's just the author saying something self-referential and his self-reference is usually pretty spot-on. I'm currently on comic 153 and only have about a bajillion left to get through. If you follow us on Facebook, I'm sure you'll see some of them in our album in the near future.

Anyway, if you're having a bad day, take part in one of our two MM's work, it'll make you feel better. If you're having a good day, go fuck yourself. "I'M HOSTILE TODAY" yelled the Katiesaurus Rex.

Still Monday on the West Coast. Barely.

I was already planning to do the Taylor Lautner post, but earlier today I reminded myself of my love for this other M Squared. So I returned from Christmas break yesterday and today one of my first orders of business was to go to my favorite falafel restaurant. Upon receiving my falafel, I responded with a satisfied growl that, when I heard it come out of my mouth, reminded me of one of my sitcom favorites: Tim the Tool Man Taylor. Et voila, I decided Tim Allen would be my second macho macho man who I would pay tribute to.

Tim Allen is most famous (according to me) for three roles: Tim the Tool Man Taylor, Buzz Lightyear, and Santa Claus (ONLY THE FIRST MOVIE. IT IS A CLASSIC.). They are pictured beneath. In his honor, please do an impression of one of these characters now. My love for him goes to infinity… and beyond!

It's Still Monday in California

My first Masculine Monday post is dedicated to my sister, and will double as my way-after-the-fact review of New Moon.

Our first M Squared is Taylor Lautner, who recently broke up with Taylor Swift and who (sources say) will in the next few years become my brother-in-law. Welcome to the family, Tay. And here are a few reasons why he's welcome to the family:
1. Arms


2. Smile


3. General boyish charm


4. Seriously, just look at him


5. No really, look at how he's holding that football


6. He knows Robert Pattinson and presumably can introduce me


7. Same for Kellan Lutz (also I find this picture oddly hot. But then I'm strange.)


I mean, does Taylor look a little cheesy in some of these pics? Yeah, sure. Am I doubting his taste in women after he dated Selena Gomez? Of course, but I still love Zefron even though he's dating the disgusting V Hudge. Is he the greatest actor? I'm honestly not sure, because there's a lot about the movies that can be blamed on bad writing, but I mean, sure, he's fine. I thought the SNL skit where he was a Team Edward fan was semi-amusing, and I was very impressed with his ninja moves where he decapitated Kanye in the intro/monologue thing. So really I guess my stance on his "skill" level is that we'll have to wait until he does real movies to see how the acting progresses.

And that's my seamless way of moving into talking about New Moon: it was exactly what I expected. My opinion is generally the same as it was for the first one - the protagonists are very nice to look at, the movie is better than the book because the book is poorly written, and I still like stories about vampires because they remind me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (three cheers for Joss Whedon). If you like fairly predictable stories with a couple interesting ideas, or particularly if you like hot guys running around shirtless, you should probably see this movie. Personally this isn't something I'd ever drag a guy to, but hey, I'm fucking nice.

Dyxieland's Plan for a New Year

In order to have the blog be updated at a more regular pace, we've come up with a sort of schedule. We're posting it here to make ourselves more accountable. When Katie D sees this, she'll probably edit it with her ideas as well. So let's start the new year off right together.

1. We've created Masculine Monday. This is sort of Katie D's day to talk about men. Sexy men, annoying men, smart men, cool men, gay men, straight men. And if I have any ideas I can write about those things too, but this is more her day.

2. My day is Feminine Friday. This is where I can talk about the same things. Sexy women, annoying women, smart women, cool women, gay women, straight women, feminism. That sort of thing. And again, if Katie D has any ideas, she can write about those things on this day as well.

3. Viral Video Wednesday. We're going to start posting videos that we like off the internet (because that's where we live) every Wednesday. Maybe even some Vlogging might occur. Who knows? The possibilities are endless because if you shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars. (Side note from Katie D.: I have always thought this was a stupid phrase. There are no stars between earth and the moon. Therefore, you will not land among the stars. You'll probably just end up orbiting the earth. This is nothing against CK, of course, because she didn't make it up, but I just wanted to express my incredible frustration at whoever the fuck came up with this saying.)(Side Note from CK: Did the sarcasm not translate well? I'm still trying to perfect that. My blubbering, spacey, can't connect step 1 and step 5 mind sometimes doesn't realize we don't share a brain. I almost typed "brian.")(Side note from Katie D.: Oh, I knew you were being sarcastic. I just wanted to state my vehement loathing for that phrase.)

4. We're going to continue with our "Obsessive Much" and "WTF Happened to...?" threads. Obviously. Because those are awesome.

Now, on to things we've failed to cover. Frankly, I stopped writing about Jon and Kate plus 8 (minus Maddy equals better show) because I don't give a damn. Those poor kids. All 8 of them. Even Maddy. They are no longer protected by anything. Everything is raw. The transparency of that family is insane. It wasn't presented with any buffer, just as reality. When that happens, your perception of your actual reality and the producer's perception of the reality they've created for good television blurs and nothing is real anymore. Balloon Boy and his fucked up parents and family fall under the same category. Also, Tiger Woods is a douche bag. How did he hide 14 women? Why did he choose washed up reality stars? Is this why he hasn't been playing golf lately? Again, I don't care.

Katie D? Anything else we need to atone for?

Katie D. - I'm gonna go ahead and agree on the "I don't care about Tiger Woods, Balloon Boy, or the Gosselins" line of thinking. Other things I don't care about: anyone who has ever been on The Hills/those other shows that are associated with The Hills; any other sports player who does something scandalous; the Obama party crashers; 90210 or Gossip Girl; Brangelina (I think even Jennifer Aniston is over it. Why won't the rest of the world move on?); the Kardashians, Girls Next Door, or those Gotti people (still not sure who they are) - generally, any show on E! that is not The Soup or Chelsea Lately; and pretty much everything on MTV (EXCEPT JERSEY SHORE, THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO TELEVISION). So I atone for none of that. BUT if I'm going to atone for something it would be generally not posting much, especially about stuff I'm actually interested in - Health Care, the new Twilight movie (yes, I still have strong opinions about that stuff), John Mayer and his new CD - so I'm planning to post a whole lot in the next couple weeks, covering the stuff I just talked about as well as other things, to make up for not writing much. So to start things off well, here's something I really, really care about: the Geico Pothole Commercial.



I particularly like that it has a southern accent; makes me think of home. It always amazes me just how much stuff people actually take the time to put on YouTube - I mean, who found that video and uploaded it? - but I am so, so glad that they did.

I am also officially looking forward to our gendered days of the week, because I love nothing more than talking about people who I find interesting. This doesn't mean anyone else will find them interesting (this is your warning) BUT you will definitely, definitely learn.

Also, I know we missed our anniversary, but we're a little more than a year old now (Happy Birthday, Dorothy Anne the Dyxieland Cowgirl!) and I just want to say thanks very much to our readers. This is clearly not a particularly serious blog, but that doesn't mean we don't care about it, and we appreciate you coming back to read our stuff, ridiculous though it often is.