Tool Academy: Television Perfection

If you haven't yet watched Tool Academy, start now. We're three episodes in, and I'm addicted. The premise of the show is this: a bunch of guys who are bad boyfriends and generally idiotic (Tools, if you will) come onto the show thinking they are competing for the prize of "Mr. Awesome" - America's most macho man. If this by itself doesn't convince you of their toolitude, don't worry, because they will soon. Once they arrive at the house, they are confronted by their disgruntled girlfriends, and told that actually their behavior has earned them a place in the Tool Academy. They are given coats and ties and placed in group therapy sessions with their peers, their girlfriends, and an extremely unhelpful psychologist. They also have to go through tests with their girlfriends to try to improve themselves, like building a bed or learning to tango - and, by the way, they're competing for $100,000. It's a sick, weird, hilarious social experiment, and it's fucking addictive. Unlike "Rock of Love" or "Flavor of Love," it's not a bunch of people competing for one person's affection - it's a bunch of failing relationships fighting to save themselves. The men are obvious jerks and the women have obviously got their own problems for staying with such tools for so long - and clearly there's something wrong with me for loving it, but I do. Oh, I do.

Low point so far: When Ashley, Joey (the Cold-Hearted Tool's) girlfriend, stayed with him, even after he was kicked out of the Academy. Very sad, because he's emotionally abusive.

High point so far: When "Celebrity" (real name: Clarence - the Party Tool) got kicked out and his girlfriend, Cameron, cut him off from sweet-talking her into leaving with him. She went home on her own, and he looked like an idiot asking for the other girls' numbers and doing acrobatics on the fail stage.