If Katie D. Ran The Emmys: Moar, Moar!

Continued, with extra clips this time! Spaghetti cat cat cat cat cat cat...

Best Fake News Show:
The Soup


Joel McHale seems to have distain for almost all things celebrity or pop-culture related (or at least anything to do with The Hills, La Lohan or Miley Cyrus), but also sort of fascinated with that which he finds disgusting. He also loves Spaghetti cat. All of this makes him highly amusing to me, and The Soup is a great 30 minute way to catch up with what the fuck happened in pop culture this week - that is, if you don't avidly read blogs. A little SC magic for you below.



Oh, and here's a song, written just for SC.



On Fridays at 9 central on E!


Best Actual News Show:
Countdown with Keith Olbermann


Yeah, Keith can be loud, abrasive, and insulting. So can Chatty Kathy. I'm over it! Because underneath their tough exteriors they're both softies. Don't believe me? Check the video (on Prop H8):



Now if you didn't get choked up or at least bust out an "aw" then you are the Tin Man and need to visit the fucking wizard. He's funny, articulate, well-read, clever, and sweet. And friends with Rachel Maddow. And a Unitarian Universalist! Check plus. On weekdays at 7 central on MSNBC.


Best "Reality" Show on VH1 or MTV / Best Use of Hair Products And Body Oil:
Tool Academy


I've stated before that I believe this show is television perfection. Well, we're now down to two tools and they actually don't suck that much (especially Josh, who to me will ALWAYS be Baby Bear), but up until this point we've had it all: douchey attitudes, surprise girlfriends, pigs, lie detectors, tutus, conjugal visits and panic attacks. The boys are definitely not angels but some of the girls are feisty too (and Krista can go to hayle!) so there's never a lack of drama. Trisha (the therapist) is useless and basically just eggs them on, and with each new episode you can see the host losing his will to live. And they're coming back for another season! Bravo, VH1. Bravo. Sundays at 7 central on VH1.

Tool Academy: Television Perfection

If you haven't yet watched Tool Academy, start now. We're three episodes in, and I'm addicted. The premise of the show is this: a bunch of guys who are bad boyfriends and generally idiotic (Tools, if you will) come onto the show thinking they are competing for the prize of "Mr. Awesome" - America's most macho man. If this by itself doesn't convince you of their toolitude, don't worry, because they will soon. Once they arrive at the house, they are confronted by their disgruntled girlfriends, and told that actually their behavior has earned them a place in the Tool Academy. They are given coats and ties and placed in group therapy sessions with their peers, their girlfriends, and an extremely unhelpful psychologist. They also have to go through tests with their girlfriends to try to improve themselves, like building a bed or learning to tango - and, by the way, they're competing for $100,000. It's a sick, weird, hilarious social experiment, and it's fucking addictive. Unlike "Rock of Love" or "Flavor of Love," it's not a bunch of people competing for one person's affection - it's a bunch of failing relationships fighting to save themselves. The men are obvious jerks and the women have obviously got their own problems for staying with such tools for so long - and clearly there's something wrong with me for loving it, but I do. Oh, I do.

Low point so far: When Ashley, Joey (the Cold-Hearted Tool's) girlfriend, stayed with him, even after he was kicked out of the Academy. Very sad, because he's emotionally abusive.

High point so far: When "Celebrity" (real name: Clarence - the Party Tool) got kicked out and his girlfriend, Cameron, cut him off from sweet-talking her into leaving with him. She went home on her own, and he looked like an idiot asking for the other girls' numbers and doing acrobatics on the fail stage.