Wednesday, January 28

Downgrade: Jessica Simpson

Ya’ll. Jessica Simpson got fat. Well, fat according to Hollywood standards and healthy looking according to what the lay population should be thinking but can’t due to the way Hollywood controls ALL. I mean, H-wood is owned by the Jews and the Jews secretly control everything else. So clearly, that makes sense.

Anyway. Jessica McFatpants. So she’s dating this Tony Romo character (at least I still think she is...) and he apparently cheated on her and she like ate her feelings or some shit. Whatever. I’m just glad this has supplied fodder for my blog, since her most recent gig is the 99.9 KISS Country Chili Cookoff in Florida.

…Should have stayed with Nick.

DOWNGRADE.

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3 comments:

  1. I guess she's on Tony Romo's diet... Have you seen the latest pics? Jeez...
    Jessica Simpson Fat

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  2. Yeah dude. This was the least offensive one I could find. Clearly the arms-up technique for masking weight gain doesn't work. Now I can stop walking around with my hands haphazardly in the air and find a new technique...

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  3. But amazingly, her hair has stayed exactly the same.

    ReplyDelete