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ALFIE PATTEN IS NOT THE FATHER OF MAISIE.
CHANTELLE IS A WHORE.
GET THAT KID SOME CONDOMS.
AND CALL MAURY. Or MONTEL. Get RICKI LAKE out of retirement. Get SALLY JESSE RAPHAEL to put her big red glasses back on.
WTF happened to dignity!??!
I tried to find the UK magazine's article that stated this, but all I could find was Perez Hilton's. I found one article about how a judge ruled that the DNA results could not be made public... So I think the tabloids did and then got reprimanded and took the articles down. If that is even possible. Which I don't think it is. My googling skills could just be out of practice.
[props to my friend M.A. Ziems for tipping me off on this. As I was literally typing in "Alfie Paten + DNA" she sends me the Perez Hilton link on my FB wall. Mad props yo.] [And don't judge that I kind of stole Perez's jokes. He already took the good ones.]
wait... is that real on the back of his sweater? certainly that is photoshopped........ right?
ReplyDeleteif that were my kid i would TAN his hide. that kid would be locked in the basement til he was 45.