Wednesday, March 4

If Katie D. Ran The Emmys

Awards season has me all pensive about the important things in my life: my television shows. I decided (and my roommate agrees) that I'm the person who should actually decide what wins what awards, and my qualifications are that I watch TV all the fucking time. Here are my picks for the outstanding TV of 2008!

Update: Posting this shit all at once made the blog go fucking nuts, so I'm gonna split it up. Enjoy the suspense!

Show With Quirkiest, Most Lovable Characters:

One of my roommates hates this show but I cannot resist! They're funny, they solve crimes, they're very unique characters and Angel from Buffy is in it! Plus it looks at the scientific and the supernatural parts of life, not siding with either, particularly. It's also one of those things where you want the main characters to be together - because they're clearly perfect for each other - but the tension is great so you want it to last forever (like on the Office, how much suckier is that show now that Jim and Pam are together? God, just get married already and get a new gimick.) But anyway, Brennan + Booth = love forever! On weekdays at 5 central on TNT or Thursdays at 7 central on Fox.

Most Fascinating, Disturbing, And Addictive Show On Television:
Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories. DUN DUN. Be impressed: that was all from fucking memory, folks! This show is one (like ANTM, see above) that I can sit and watch for an entire day without accomplishing anything meaningful or important. I never feel more alive! I have no favorite characters when it comes to the main cast: Elliot and Olivia are infallible, Munch is hilarious, Ice T is a quality actor, the Captain is lovable and strangely sexy, Wong and the ME are brilliant. I yell at the screen when someone new comes on (remember that bitch who worked with Elliot when Mariska was pregs? I fucking hated that cunt! And the new DA is too model-y and not sassy enough for me) because I'm offended at the intrusion into my universe! You're not an actor til you've been a crazy and/or beaten person on SVU. Truth. On all the fucking time on USA. Seriously, whenever my Tivo is recording something, it's ALWAYS SVU. New episodes Tuesdays at 9 central on NBC.

Best Fucking Daytime Talk Show Ever:

Laugh. Dance. Watch Ellen. There's something so ultimately likable about her that I can't imagine anyone not appreciating her, even if they're not fans of the show. Oprah can go suck Gayle's dick when it comes to daytime TV! Plus, she's a big gay lady, and she stands up for shit she believes in. All while she plays fun games, sings in the bathroom, and makes DanRad speak in an American accent. Who could ask for anything more? Ellen and Dan below. It's on during the day, changes according to where you are.

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