Tuesday, March 30

In other Bizarro news...

I'm a writer. I write for Dyxieland. I write my own stories/poems/essays. I'm in workshops. I'm majoring in creative writing. I take classes. I plan on going to grad school for this. I read. A lot.

And yet James Franco thinks he can just do everything creative. He has a short story published in Esquire Magazine. I feel like James Franco is stomping on my life with this. Because if you read it, and I couldn't even make it through the whole thing, it reads like some stoner High School senior's creative writing final paper, or some left wing liberal arts college freshman's Intro to Creative Writing thesis. And he has a short story collection called Palo Alto (SO WEST COAST) coming out in October. Thanks, Scribner for bringing this to us. It's something I really want to read. I feel like I'm going to read it and just hear that weird James Franco voice where he focuses a lot of his syllables' stresses on the back molars and doesn't use his tongue enough when he talks so the result is this weird throaty gravely lispy thing. He also won't open his mouth enough.

No, I'm not bitter. Thanks for asking. The one thing that makes this all better is that the University of Iowa's Writers Workshop (THE Graduate Program for Creative Writing) rejected his poetry application so he settled for General Hospital. SUCK ON THAT FRANCO!

Side Note from Katie Dee, because my stupid computer won't let me just make a comment: It's so "Jewel's book of poetry" from the 90's.

From CK: IT IS SO JEWEL'S BOOK OF POETRY. Which I may or may not own... she talks about her boobs a lot...

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  1. I like that Yale is taking UI cast offs. I've rarely felt this proud to dwell on the inside of the corn curtain. Hizah!

  2. I read about this and thought it sounded like it would be God-awful. Thanks for confirming.

  3. I think it's one of the great unwritten rules of the publishing world, Kate, that there is always going to be someone less talented than you making more money and/or having more success as a writer. Being a celebrity probably doesn't hurt, either. But what can you do? Keep making art, and screw the rest of 'em, I say.

    -Alex C.

    (And wowee, look at that, my very first comment! Had to happen sooner or later, I suppose.)

  4. If it makes you feel any better, this is not a problem limited to the world of writing.