Obsessive Much? ABDC!

I know that's not the proper order of the alphabet. That's cuz it's not! It's time for a new season of Randy Jackson presents (yet never actually appears on) America's Best Dance Crew! Get excited for JC's pretentious critiques, Shane Spark's inarticulate awe, and Lil Mama's ghetto fabulous 'tude and lip gloss use. Oh, and Mario Lopez in all his glory sans rhythm or wit... Who knew that such an unrelated group of people could bring to us such an amazing experience known as ABDC!?



You can watch the whole first episode straight from MTV.com by clicking HERE. But, I'm recapping and doing introductions all around below... so if you can bear to watch without Mario, then just keep reading. I've got your back.

This season seems to bring dance crews from all over, with more obvious styles. So basically, they aren't all AZN.

And the one explicitly AZN dance crew is trying really hard not to be THAT crew. Even though they so obviously are. Fr3sh:




There's the rumba-ing, salsa-ing, throw your hips around like no one cares Afroborike.




There's Artistry in Motion. One of the girl groups. 2 Good Things: NOT SLUTTY NOT ANOREXIC. Their whole thing is that they don't look like the stereotypical dancer, but that DON'T MEAN SHIT. And they are all about giving back to the community. They all teach dance to young girls.




Second girl group: We Are Heroes. Their name kind of reminds me of a Will Smith movie.




The Reason This Show is Now Worthy For Dyxieland Coverage: VOGUE EVOLUTION. This is a crew that bring vogueing mainstream. If Shane can love it, you can love it. They not only have a tubby queen, they have a MTF Transgender crew member. And they're black. So basically every minority statisitc that anyone ever wants to talk about (MTF Transgender maybe possible being a small exception...) and these people are FEARLESS. They own it. They work it. I'm just worried they aren't dynamic enough. But I can't wait to keep watching and find out.




STUPIDEST IDEA EVER: Southern Movement. They're lame. This is not how you represent the Durrrty South. I've seen better. Now this is just tacky.




Rhythm City is our Rags to Riches crew. They represent the Bronx, NY and have an immediate ally in Lil Mama. Clean, classy, but not very creative. I hope for some innovation.




Classic B-Boy Crew: Massive Monkees. Entertaining to watch, but we've seen it. Especially on ABDC. Jabawockeez? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?




Fabulous in Hats: Beat Ya Feet Kings. They do this whole feet beating thing that is apparently the Shit in Washington, DC. Don't worry, I have field correspondents out doing research...





So that's all of the crews. Unfortunately Fr3sh was the first to "walk it out" last Sunday. Vehement denial of being the AZN crew obviously did not pay off.

UPDATE: Sorry the videos are all cut off. If you don't like it you can go and embed all that code again yourself. Thanks!