Baptist Video Wednesday

Oh hey! So today, for a change of pace, I thought I'd blog. I know, it's unexpected, but we're wacky here at Dyxieland.

So I was scouring Facebook, as many college students do, when I'm sure I should've been doing something else, when I came across this terrifying/hilarious video on Argumentative Guy's wall. In it, a terrifying/hilarious preacher shares his terrifying/hilarious views on why women shouldn't wear pants and why neither gender should wear medium-length hair. Please enjoy/be sad about the state of our world.



To accompany this video, I'd like to share some thoughts.
1. I'm thrilled I'm not married to that man.
2. Some chicks can work short hair!
3. If I'm not supposed to wear pants, does that mean I can't wear sleep pants or sweat pants? Because there goes half my leg-wardrobe. Oh, and if we take out jeans, there goes another 49.5% of my leg-wardrobe.
4. I wonder what his thoughts are on kilts? Because as of recently, my thoughts on kilts are: they're hot.
5. Please stop saying "queer" like that, it makes me gasp every time.
6. I was absolutely not meant to be meek. I think he's right about how women want men who are strong, but I would change his idea of "Godly women want strong men" to "strong women want strong men (or other strong women, if that's their thing)." I would also argue that strong men want strong women (although again, they could also want a strong dude) because I think that people who are capable and confident search for these personality traits in others. I think that the only people who like weak people are also weak, if not physically then in some mental capacity. For instance, I'd say that this man considers himself to be strong, but from everything he's expressing - fear of "confusion," only wanting a "meek" woman, mocking people who are different from him, even the way he hides in the Bible - I see no strength. He probably does want a meek woman, because he couldn't handle anything else. Welcome to the 21st century, dude. Women are no longer valued for their silence, and we need people around us who can handle us having a voice - as Lorelai Gilmore once said, the meek shall not inherit the earth!

A Very Tall Masculine Monday

So one of my friends here in England told me about a beautiful website, tvshack.net, where I could watch American TV in my spare time when I'm not exploring London or doing homework or having the batteries changed on my door (about to be the fourth time in almost as many weeks!). You see, even though in the U.S. you can watch network shows on the internet, evil evil television corporations make it so that the licensing whatchamacallits (by the way, that word was not flagged by my spell-check, which gets mad at me when I don't capitalize the word "TV") don't allow people who are abroad access to their online archives (FOR SHAME television people! How am I supposed to survive if I don't know that Jin and Sun live happily ever after?), so this tvshack thing is really, really wonderful.

She told me about this site so I could start my relationship with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, about which I've heard only good things, but unfortunately I don't have enough time to devote to a new TV show right now - maybe next month. Anyway, I did use this miraculous God-send of a website to catch up on one of the shows I really loved in the U.S., but which I haven't been able to watch for a while: Community. This show is fucking funny - I think the characters are well-written and the casting of Chevy Chase was absolutely brilliant - but I'd be lying if I said that I started watching the show for any reason other than Joel McHale, who is, of course, today's Masculine Monday.

I've had major hots for Joel, who is a tree-like six feet four inches tall, since freshman year when I first discovered The Soup, the show he hosts on the E! Network, and when he started promoting his new sitcom I had to jump on board. And if you don't typically trust my taste in TV (although I'm not sure why you wouldn't; I have excellent taste), guess what? Ronfire likes it too! There's something for everybody! You all should watch it! Anyway, Joel is wonderful, and here are some clips of him.

This first clip was watched by me and JBear pretty much every day for about a month when we were freshmen.


This next one is Joel fighting a bully on Community, played by Anthony Michael Hall, continuing their string of John Hughes references. (He was the geek in The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, and Weird Science, but then a couple years later he bulked up and came back to play the bully in Edward Scissorhands (which of course was Tim Burton, not John Hughes, but my point is that he's the bully). Again, clever casting.)


And these next two are mostly because I really love Troy and Abed (Donald Glover and Danny Pudi).

In the Spirit of England

So this one will be familiar to my family.

There is this great British comedian named Eddie Izzard who does a lot of weird-ass stand-up comedy, which I find very hilarious. Once YouTube brought his stand-up to the masses, one guy took it in a direction that I don't think Eddie expected, but which actually works very well: he made legos act out Eddie's sketches. In stop-motion. And put them on YouTube. Here are some of my favorites, and I'm sorry for being so cranky about Bristol Palin a minute ago but hopefully this will lift all of our spirits. Enjoy.

Death Star Canteen:


Do You Have a Flag?


Cake or Death?


And here's him just doing stand-up. You will especially appreciate this if you understand French.

Bristol Palin Is an Asshole

So Bristol Palin is out with a new ad for the Candie's Foundation talking about how if she weren't so rich and popular, her life would really suck because she was a pregnant teenager. I'm not sure what pisses me off most about this ad - the fact that she's now going against her former (and let's be frank, more honest) statements about how abstinence-only education is "not realistic," or the fact that she is essentially flaunting her luck of being born into a prominent family and simultaneously judging other people who aren't fortunate enough to have the money and fame that she has - who, you know, if they made poor decisions and got pregnant at 17, might actually have to face those poor decisions and figure out what to do with their lives.

"Oh you rubes, living in states that don't pay you to stay there, without famous mothers who campaign for the world's worst causes - your lives are going to be so awful, now that you're forced to take responsibility for your actions! You other poor people, you'd better not act out - only we privileged, lucky people get to make bad choices (which are then taken care of for us). Better not have sex, because there's nothing worse than being poor and having a baby - not that I would know, because I'm rich." Plus Bristol Palin telling people not to have sex is totally going to work. Oh, unless they're teenagers who have heard "abstinence only" their entire lives, but who decide to make their own choices. But that's totally not likely, right? Because God wants us to wait until marriage. Unless we're rich enough to pay for a nanny, in which case we can fuck whoever we want. Here's the ad, I hope the condescension doesn't burn.



Bristol Palin's teenage pregnancy PSA @ Yahoo! Video

Sidenote from CK: There's also some weird subliminal shit happening here that really makes Sarah Palin look like a really great human being. Honestly, with her 5 kids (and I'm convinced that that down-syndrome baby was never actually in her womb) she's just one step above the octomom. Good thing I'm rich because having sex with women is really dangerous. I'm so glad I paid to be gay so that I didn't become a teenage mom or be able to marry someone in order to have sex. I'm so rich an abstinence only lifestyle is written in fine print in the contract for my Trust Fund.

Re-Side Note by Katie Dee: Upon watching it again, though, I can't help but point out that THAT is a really cute baby. YES I KNOW THIS IS A WEIRD THING TO NOTICE. I CAN'T HELP IT, I LOVE CHILDREN.

Palo Alto Highschool Peacefully Fights that fucker Phelps.

I blogged about Constance McMillen and her school's cancelling of a her prom all because she wanted to bring her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo. Well, her school and community duped her. They told her there was a prom happening at a local country club and McMillen and date and tuxedo showed up ready to party. Well, they walked in to 7 other prom-goers, 2 of which were mentally handicapped. The only reason I'm including the mentally handicapped thing is because every article I've read includes and I find that hilarious. So they're basically saying, not only are you GAY but you get to party with RETARDS. Let's be real, that's discriminatory and politically incorrect TWICE. Whatever. People can be cruel sometimes. This shows that even being on the Ellen Degeneres show doesn't guarantee you anything. Shit's RAW.

But across the country, at Gunn High school in Palo Alto, CA, something amazing happened. Westboro Baptist Church, The "God hates Fags" people, (p.s. I can't believe I googled that to get the URL and it really is godhatesfags.com. I feel dirty linking you to it, and I can't even bring myself to explore the website because I'm greeted as a"deplorable son or daughter of Adam and Eve.") decided to protest the school because in the past 6 months 4 teens have committed suicide. Apparently, this is god smiting them for their liberal thoughts and the community's acceptance of all people. OMG THAT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE. I know that the events in the past semester at Gunn High school are tragic, but they are not the beginning of the second coming and they have nothing to do with Fred Phelps and his deranged followers. In order to retaliate and show the Westboro Fools that they have no business in the Palo Alto community, the school, lead by administration leaders and teachers, discussed a plan of action. They considered not showing up, so that the Westboro Fools protested a barren school campus; but finally settled on a peaceful display of acceptance and campfire songs. As a soul born into the wrong generation (I should have been a tree hugging hippie who ran way to San Francisco instead of Iowa who still reads Beat Poets and listens to Janis Joplin) I have a soft spot for campfire songs and peaceful demonstrations. Watch the video below to see what I'm talking about:



Daisy Renazco and Noreen Likins you're pretty ok. High Schools need more teachers and principles like you. Teachers with a social conscience. So in a time of cultural set back for Human Rights in Mississippi, we can always count on California (even though I secretly hate Palo Alto because of James Franco) to have their shit together. Now if only they shit can be together in a de jure sense instead of a de facto one.

Masculine Monday: Presidential Edition

So while deciding today's MM, I briefly considered making it the 1980 Olympic Hockey team because I just watched the movie Miracle today, but then I realized that I haven't yet given big O his due for finally getting shit done this week! It seems like, since he first got sworn in (actually, since he first got voted in) Obama has been working constantly but not making any particular amount of progress. Then, BOOM, this week he comes out getting done not only health care, but also signing legislation that helps college students get loans and puts some checks on the banks, and signing off on new off-shore drilling, AND putting in much more stringent regulations on fuel efficiency in new vehicles, AND going into nuclear arms agreements with Russia.

Now, I'm not super pleased about the off-shore drilling because, I mean, I'm just not particularly in favor of more drilling, particularly in fragile underwater ecosystems (I'm a tree-hugging liberal), but at the moment I'm willing to trust that he knows what he's doing and is using the drilling to distract Republicans into voting for better environmental legislation in the long run (because from everything I've read/seen about this off-shore drilling, it's a very short-term fix and won't even be a viable source of energy for a few years. So it's like, dude, what's the point? I mean, it has to be a chess move. It has to be). But all the other stuff? Reducing arms in two major nuclear powers, helping our population become more educated with less debt, helping the ill afford aid, and decreasing the U.S.'s impact on the environment on a major way? Not a bad freaking week. PLUS there was actually an increase of a few hundred thousand jobs in March, which shows that we might slowly be climbing our way out of this recession.

Obama, it took you a year for us to see some of the change you promised us, but at this point, I like what you're giving me. Keep up the good work. (I like your railway idea too - let's do that after you put some major restrictions on banks and credit card companies. Ok?) So in what I hope will be the first of many Masculine Monday: Presidential Editions, I say kudos and keep going, and for God's sake let's keep a Democratic Congress this fall so the progress doesn't get backtracked, because the Republicans are being nothing if not unhelpful. And on THAT ridiculously partisan note, goodnight.

Hoppy Easter!

It's Easter... soo... here are some cute animals. That's the spirit of this holiday, correct? This goes out to J Bear and my sister.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

Hey guys! I just wanted to let you know that I've started hosting a Literary/Creative Writing themed radio show targeted at undergraduates at the University of Iowa. It's on from 11-Noon and you can stream it online here! So, you can listen from anywhere. If you are in the Iowa City area, turn the dial to 89.7. This week, me and Ronfire99 are having a special guest on the show, our friend The Hobbit Extra, to talk about music with literary lyrics, book references, and music we write to. We're taking it easy this week since it's easter weekend. Our songs choices should lead to some really fascinating discussion, since Ronfire, The Hobbit Extra, and I are all lil Chatty Kathys (Kathies?) and it makes me proud.

Be sure to listen as I slowly become a media mogul.

Man... I'd Cry Too.

So since the video that CK and I were talking about posting on VVW was taken off the internet (hate crime?) - CK found it (or possibly J Bear?) and it was of a fabulous, glittery gay dancing and doing sign language to Lady Gaga songs - we were sort of at a loss for what to do on Wednesday. But I saw this video on Countdown, and I thought you all should see it as well. Don't ever tell your sons they aren't Single Ladies.



Sidenote from CK: I wanted to post this yesterday when I found it and before it went viral on HuffPost, but alas, my MAJOR HUGE LACK OF MOTIVIATION OF ANY KIND hindered me from doing so. But everytime I watch this my heart breaks. EVERYONE CAN BE A SINGLE LADY. KAtie Dee said something about how I should at least be happy that the dad is ok with allowing his son to create his own gender boundaries. Harrumph. I mean, when you see the kid's face drop how can you not give in to allowing him to be a single lady? I am no where near over how attached I feel to this small asian child.