Good morning. A couple things that should be brought to everyone's attention:
1. Dancing Boyd
So if you haven't heard Willow Smith (that would be Will Smith's daughter) singing her song about whipping her hair back and forth, I don't know where you've been for the past month. It's very irritating but sort of catchy, and it has spawned some pretty great videos - this is one of them. I like when he gets his wings into it.
2. This is funny, Alot
It may not be surprising, since I'm an English kid and I love to be right, that I am very easily irritated by idiots who make stupid grammatical mistakes on the internet. This website is trying to help me lower my blood pressure by giving me psychological coping mechanisms to deal with idiocy. And I have to tell you, I like it. I like it, Alot. Read it, cheer up, it's almost Thanksgiving! (AND THEN THAT MEANS IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!)
P.S. I think my favorite is the Alot of Mist. Or the Alot of Fire.
So I'm busy in Peoria, IL, with the only friend I made in London, Emster (don't feel sad for me, she's really great and everyone else was really not), working really hard on my homework and then also fixing the world's problems via the phone with Obama. While working hard, a demon took over my body and forced me to go on the internet to find fun things and then share them with you kind people. The first is a blog everyone should read, the second and third are great videos. Here they are.
1. New Blog - The Man Repeller Emster led me to this, and I am eternally grateful. The girl who writes it whose name I can't immediately remember defines "Man Repeller" thusly:
"man·re·pell·er [mahn-ree-peller] –noun
outfitting oneself in a sartorially offensive way that will result in repelling members of the opposite sex. Such garments include but are not limited to harem pants, boyfriend jeans, overalls (see: human repelling), shoulder pads, full length jumpsuits, jewelry that resembles violent weaponry and clogs.
–verb (used without object),-pell·ing, -pell·ed. to commit the act of repelling men: Girl 1: What are you wearing tonight? Girl 2: My sweet lime green drop crotch utility pants Girl 1: Oh, so we're man repelling tonight?
*DISCLAIMER: the above conversation took place in this room 5 minutes ago.
Origin: 2009-10; < repellius (ptp. of repellia to eliminate male attention), equiv. to L repel- (s. of repellix) unattractive, celibate, paris fashion week, M.C. Hammer + -repel -ler1
—Related forms man·re·pell·ant, noun"
So it's pretty clear, I think, why I like her. Basically, she's funny as shit and clever to boot. Plus, she's creative with her language. She sometimes refers to herself as a "fancy flamingo" and her readers as "mangoes," and in one of her posts she used the phrase "whoopsie Daisy Dukes." I REST MY CASE. I feel like we could be good friends, despite the fact that we have exactly the opposite fashion sense. This is not to say that I don't sometimes repel men with my outfits - for instance, right now I am wearing gray sweatpants, some really sweet foam-type sandals, a high necked t-shirt (this is the least comfortable part of my outfit as I hate collars and often just cut them out of my t-shirts entirely) and a zip-up hoodie that is plaid in blue and the-same-gray-as-my-sweatpants, so it matches and makes the outfit like the work-out-clothes answer to the suit - but I'm not a big fan of spending lots of money on clothes or wearing things that aren't extremely comfortable. Yes, I do own hot stilettos, but on average I wear them 2 times per year. Still, though, I can look at her clothing choices and think to myself, boy, if I had limitless funds and no nerve endings I would absolutely wear that. Or sometimes I can think that she looks absolutely ridiculous. Either way, she's fucking funny.
2. Hilarious video - Clitter So this video is just adding on to the new trend of decorating vaginas (why is spell check flagging this word? Oh, apparently the real way to pluralize "vagina" is "vaginae." That sounds stupid.) that was brought to the attention of the public by Jennifer Love Hewitt, the loony tune who glued Swarovski crystals to her vagina as a pick-me-up, but on a smaller-budgeted level. It's called Clitter, and it means what you think it means. Don't watch this video if you find vagina-decorating offensive. Do watch it if you find vagina-decorating stupid.
3. Hilarious video: Marcel the Shell with Shoes On This video is adding to no trends other than the trend of funny videos on the internet. It is a work of genius and art. Again, thanks to Emster for posting it on my wall.
There is this great British comedian named Eddie Izzard who does a lot of weird-ass stand-up comedy, which I find very hilarious. Once YouTube brought his stand-up to the masses, one guy took it in a direction that I don't think Eddie expected, but which actually works very well: he made legos act out Eddie's sketches. In stop-motion. And put them on YouTube. Here are some of my favorites, and I'm sorry for being so cranky about Bristol Palin a minute ago but hopefully this will lift all of our spirits. Enjoy.
Death Star Canteen:
Do You Have a Flag?
Cake or Death?
And here's him just doing stand-up. You will especially appreciate this if you understand French.
So at my job our supervisors have to give motivational pep talks to keep us working hard. These talks are sometimes extremely related to our task at hand, and sometimes extremely not. This is the video they showed us last Saturday, the message being that we should be "sneaky" in our jobs to succeed. The message I wish to convey to you is, "Hey, at least our alcoholism is something we came by honestly." Brought to you by the folks at the Big British Channel.
"The joke's been done to death, but when it comes out of the mouth of a middle schooler and he gets detention for it, we can't help but applaud. Sure detention sucks, but it was totally worth it. Well done, Dalton, well done."
I am so bad at making this joke (because I don't understand heterosexuality, it's the Jack McFarland syndrome) but this kid nailed it. That's what she said.
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