Sunday, June 28

Dyxieland Salutes Billy Mays

Adding to the "why the hell are people my parents' age dying?" fuckery of this week, Billy Mays, 50, was found unresponsive by his wife this morning in his home in Tampa. He was famous for being a soft yeller and selling cheap and useful products on TV, including, but not limited to, OxiClean, Mighty Putty, and Orange Glo. Yesterday, Billy was in a plane whose tires blew out upon landing, at which time passengers were buffeted, many of whom sustained minor injuries. Billy reported to a local news station that some objects "hit me on the head, but I got a hard head." It is unknown whether the accident had anything to do with his death, and an autopsy is pending.

Vince Shlomi should be put in the protective ward of whatever facility he is currently visiting; clearly, this is not a good week for the ridiculously famous. In all seriousness, let Billy rest in peace, and I hope this is the end of the recent celebrity death cycle.

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