Elisa Kreisinger is a Smart Lady and I Hope She Wears Glasses

I found this link on good ole Salon.com this morning while sitting at my really engaging job that does really important things for the world and has only one requirement: to answer the phone that doesn't ring.

And what I want to say to you people is this: SEE! SEE! I'm not the only one who queers everything! Look Mom! I'm not alone!

According to her website popculturepirate.com, Elisa Kreisinger

is "a video remix artist subverting the carefully constructed world of corporate content to work off [her] massive consumption of pop-culture and reverse the psycho-social toll it takes on [her] sense of self." So, basically, she's my soul mate. What I discovered on the ever-faithful Salon website was an article highlighting her most recent work, where she queers Sex and the City. Thank God. It's called the QueerCarrie Project.

Maybe it's because I never really understood the allure of Sex and the City, much like I don't understand how to make a decent "that's what she said" joke, in that the overt heterosexual gaze alienated my queer ass from relating to any of the content-- even the gay men on Sex and the City were acting according to the rules of an explicitly heterosexual society-- but I never really liked the show. I never watched it like I watched The L Word. (OMG The L Word.) That is, until now. I'm only sad that seasons 3-6 are all compacted together. And props to Elisa for most likely having to watch the whole series to construct the narrative she creates in the 3 video series.

Here's the Trailer:

Kreisinger has also created several other video remix projects, including one that queers The Real Housewives of New York City: "The Queer Housewives of New York City." It follows Bethenny through a queer storyline since she's obviously the most likable (?) and entertaining (?) of the housewives.

The work Kreisinger does, this includes several other political video remix projects that you can check out on the projects page of her website, toys with the audience's perception. Viewing and experiencing her work involves similar habits we exhibit while watching TV or YouTube videos. As these habits transfer to viewing her work, Kreisinger inverts the viewing gaze by using such familiar images. We've all seen Sex and The City and we all know how shrill Bethenny can be, whether we want to admit it or not. So, by taking these images and re-appropriating their meaning by creating these Political Remix Videos (PRV), Kreisinger makes the unfamiliar familiar. The viewer almost can't grasp that what they are looking at is a subversion of original content because it reads as original content itself, completely normalizing the queer positive imagery. Pretty fucking cool if you ask me.

It's a shame the guerrilla team of video remixers that Kreisinger highlights in her project "Remixed/Removed" have to tackle the legal teams of media corporations who remove their art from host sites like YouTube because it infringes copyright laws. This is the new digital graffiti.

Also, I would like all of you to know that Eva Mendes has a sex tape and Wyclef Jean is running for President of Haiti. A Fugee. Running a country. Why am I even in school?

Saturday Morning Porcupine

So it's Saturday and I'm hungover; don't worry, I've already had wings and watched an episode of Dexter (SO GOOD) so we're on the way to recovery. Here's a porcupine who thinks he's a puppy.

VIRAL VIDEO BLUTH WEDNESDAY

If Michael Bay did the Arrested Development movie. For JBear and Ronfire.

AMERICA

... Fuck yeah. Happy 4th of July, from us at Dyxieland and the Founding Fathers. Please remind yourself of how awesome they were with this clip from a documentary on George Washington.



By the way: 1. This is not really from a documentary. 2. This clip was by the same guy who did Wizard People, Dear Readers: Brad Neely! Good job Brad.

MASCULINE MONDAY: Neil Patrick Harris

I feel like this MM should have happened a long time ago. But now that I'm doing it, I'm doing it right, with an extremely excessive amount of videos.

The thing about Neil Patrick Harris is this: there's just so much to love about him! He is comedically wonderful. He sings beautifully. He's gay and out and completely normal about it. AND he takes on great roles, and does them so well that it's just... I mean... he... I love him.

About two and a half months ago I started watching How I Met Your Mother (I'd seen a couple episodes but really dedicated myself to it in April). Since then, I've finished all five seasons. A lot of this was driven by my love for NPH. The thing about him that I love most on this show is something that I think is very WRONGLY ignored: his knack for physical comedy. Everyone's always focused on him being gay but playing this womanizing (hilarious) asshole, and while he does this very well what I think he's really great at is using his body, his face, his entire persona to react to situations. For instance (and it took me FOREVER to find a clip that wasn't just him saying "LEGENDARY" over and over again. Come on guys, it's funny on the show, but who wants to watch 3 solid minutes of that?), here is a clip of him as Barney Stinson eating Chinese food:



Please, if you don't watch the show, I am begging you out of selfishness because I want it to be on the air forever: watch it. Watch it now. And, because he's not the only funny guy on the show and I want to give some credit to my second favorite character, here he is with his castmate Jason Segel (Marshall) being AWESOME. And singing. Les Mis. (This one goes out to my sister):



But the real reason he's my Masculine Monday today is because of this gem of the internet that I just saw for the first time on Friday and have since watched three more times: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It is a gorgeous glorious musical masterpiece (written/directed by Joss Whedon, of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame and beloved by me) that Joss and friends did during the writers' strike a few years back (LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THAT). Joss has previous musical experience only with the Buffy musical episode (great TV), and in my opinion he did a tremendous job. And of course NPH was the gem-surrounded-diamond-encrusted-platinum-lined tragicomic hero, Dr. Horrible. Basically, the story is that Dr. Horrible (Billy) is an evil scientist who is trying to break his way into being a true Super Villain and at the same time muster up the courage to talk to the pretty girl at the laundromat, Penny, all while facing constant irritation by his arch-nemesis, Captain Hammer. And it's a musical. I now give you the gift of the first seven and a half minutes of this masterpiece.



Oh, and here's another song, just because I like it:



Other reasons to include in my list of "Why You Should Love Neil Patrick Harris" are shown in video form below.

1. He's totally cool with his sexuality, and he thinks other people should be as well, but he balances it by not being a crusader and not wanting to push people to do things they don't want to do. I love this attitude. Please to watch:



2. He was Mark Cohen in Rent for a while (my favorite character. I love Mark so much!). That's reason enough to like anyone, in my opinion. Here's him singing "What You Own" (one of my favorite songs from the show):



3-6. He's friends with Ellen! He helps raise money for cancer! He prank calls celebrities! Did I mention that he's funny?



I guess that the point I want to leave you with, at the end of all this, is that while I'm happy to be an ally to any gay, I would really prefer that NPH not be gay. I'd like him to be at LEAST bi. Because, really, at this point, the chances of us getting married are not very high. That makes me sad. To cheer me up, here's a clip of him doing an Old Spice commercial in which he references his Dougie Houser days (aka the show I'm about to watch all 97 episodes of before August). Enjoy enjoy!

The Newest Weird-Ass Craze in China...

So here's the new It Thing in China: custom-dying your dog to look like a wild animal. Like, for instance, a tiger:



Or a panda:





I don't really have a lot to say about this. I've never really understood dressing up or fur-dying dogs. That stuff aside, though, in this case my stance on the subject is PUPPIES! CUTE CUTE PUPPIES!! AWWWW, LOOK AT THE PUPPIES!!!!

Feminine Friday: Arianna Huffington

So as I get more and more pissed about this whole oil spill deal, I often turn to Keith for comfort - not that he has anything comforting to say, but I like seeing that someone is keeping up a count of how long it's been since the explosion and, I don't know, there's something nice about knowing that Keith is as angry as CK and I are. Anyway, so he has pretty much daily guests on talking about the oil spill from every angle, and one of last night's guests was the Co-Founder and Editor in Chief of the Huffington Post, Arianna Huffington. So not only do I like her because HuffPo publishes some cool shit, but I newly LOVE her because her voice sounds just like the mom from the Aristocats! In other words, she is the epitome of elegance and poise. Please watch and enjoy.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Ivan Coyote

So BetseyBetsey showed me this interesting queer performer, Ivan Coyote, yesterday and I was too busy doing really important things at my really engaging job to give her feedback, so here it is, complete with a nickname.

Ivan Coyote is a Canadian storyteller. So what happens on stage isn't exactly spoken word, but stories told aloud to an audience. I'm not sure if Ivan Coyote identifies as transgender or as a butch lesbian, so out of respect I'm going to use gender-neutral pronouns. Look at how progressive I am.

Ivan writes about childhood in the Yukon territory and ideas circulating in the queer community. The stories don't really address the politics of being queer, but what it means to be butch and femme and queer: ideas of self-representation. JBear and GayBear and I were having an interesting conversation about what genre of the opposite gender we would be. Apparently, I'd be a beard-sporting, plaid-wearing, bio-diesel van driving, Birkenstock aficionado. So, basically me with a beard. Anyway I watched a bunch of performances of Ivan on YouTube and there's two great pieces, one thanking femmes and the other on "what it means to be butch." It's basically a "what I did last summer" for masculine women. Both videos are great. So great, I've posted them below.

First off, what a cutie little Canadian accent. I love that the definition of a femme enables the definition of a butch. And that being a feminine lesbian is, at times, harder than being a butch(ish) lesbian. It's playfully serious. Because when you decide to come out, you are going to have to learn how to laugh. Shit gets funny.

Now, let's compare and contrast. What basically sums this whole story up for me is when Ivan says "be the man you wish you'd slept with in high school." That makes a lot of sense to me. If you're going to be a butch, masculine lesbian don't be a man's man; Be a lesbian's man.

These two performances, and Ivan's ideology, are a testament that gender is socially constructed and that words can be what you choose to call yourself, or what you let people call you.

One of Ivan's short stories has been turned into a short film. It also is an exploration as to what gender is. Check it out, it's called "No Bikini."

This makes me want to parent my hypothetical children in the most unabashed new-age, montessori style. She wasn't trying to be a boy, it's just that no one asked and it didn't really make a difference.

Check out the website here to learn more.

Glee & GaGa: So Happy I Could Die.

Hi. I'm alive. That is all.

Spoilers ahead, because I'm assuming you've already watched.

Last night was Glee's Lady GaGa episode. We all know it was amazing. That's not what I want to talk about. First off, let's recap the fact that the week before last Idina Menzel and Lea Michele sang "Dream the Impossible Dream" which is like Susan Boyle inspirational type shit and I cried and came all at the same time. My broadway dreams fulfilled! So here's that video.

Then, last night, my perfect storm hit shore with Idina and Lea singing Lady Gaga. It made me think, what if at some kid's choice award show, all three of them sang this song and then got slimed. That'd be just epic. So fantasize about that with this fantastic duet of "Pokerface." My favorite part of this video is Brad.





Whew. So, I wanted to share this not just becuase it's two crazy talented ladies singing together, but what it means for [duhn duhn duhn] Pop Culture. I mean, what do you think it feels like to be Lea Michele and sing with Idina Menzel, the queen of broadway. In my mind Lea Michele (p.s. stage name or real name? Is Michele her last name? Anyone, anyone? Beuller?) has always been the princess of broadway and now she's singing with what outwardly seems to be a mentor-figure. That just has to be epic. I revel in it. So I assume you do as well.

But my main point of this post is to talk about how Glee has captured such a current part of our culture. By having a Lady GaGa episode, Glee has solidified her cultural influence by recording it in television history. For a show that's already pretty groundbreaking and taking America by storm (granted, not to the level of Bieber Fever), but to have them then incorporate another element of high-pop culture is really interesting to think about. If Lady GaGa makes it to a level of importance that her personal cultural phenomenon is recorded for the masses by another cultural phenomenon, you know you're legit. Just like if you get parodied on SNL, you know you're hot shit. I'm not a regular watcher, so I don't know if they've parodied Glee or GaGa, but still, you get my point/joke. For me, it solidified the lasting impact Lady GaGa has had on society because, as Kurt said so well "She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary pushing. The most theatrical performer of our generation. And she changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners."

Then, there's the scene where Kurt's dad stands up for him in a way never before seen on network television. No one has ever said the things Kurt's dad says. And never before has it been in front of such a huge viewing audience. This episode reflected more than just pop cuture, but the politics of our society. I'm going to let the video speak for itself. So listen up, and pay attention to Mike O'Malley from GUTS as he sends it out to you, Moira:

Thank you, Glee. Thank you. This is why you're such a great show. I had lost hope and became kind of a doubter when Rachel Berry belted "Total Eclipse of the Heart" a few weeks ago. In my mind, you jumped the shark then and there. But you've reeled me back in. Some episodes are hit or miss. Some of the characters are pretty one dimensional cardboard cut outs that you could do more with, but instead you opt to make jokes about stereotypes. But it's moments like these, when you take a current political issue and humanize it. I hope the parents of the kids watching this show, see this and realize something about themselves. Kurt's dad recognizes that it took him a long time to get to where he is with his son's sexuality. That he used to use the word "faggot" just how Finn used it. I wish there were more men, more fathers, like Mr. Hummel in the world. Kurt isn't all flamboyance and fabulousity. He struggles everyday, not because of some self-imposed "choice." But because people don't take the time to see him, a person. They see Kurt, the homo. How much would you bet Kurt thinks about trading who he is so that he doesn't have to deal with the shit Finn just dealt out to him? An insurmountable sum of money. But when it comes down to it. It's not Kurt's fault. I mean, it'd probably be easier. Yeah, easier for everyone else. It's the mindset of everyone around him that's a problem. Not that I'm blaming all of life's hardship on the people around you. But we've somehow learned to not see people anymore but to just see a gay person or a black person or a dumb person or a poor person or a cleaning lady or a banker. Not a person who's family has never supported them or a person who's been in chains because of the way they look or a person who has dyslexia and needs to be taught differently or a person who works two jobs to get dinner on the table or a woman cleaning your house because she sends money back to her parents in Mexico or a man who counts money all day and goes home to an empty house filled with pictures of his wife and kids who left him 2 months ago. We have to stop seeing just gay, black, stupid, poor, and profession. We have to start seeing people.

Prodigy Video Wednesday!

So since Lady Gaga became the world's new obsession (and won Dyxie hearts), everyone on YouTube has done their best to channel her, or at least to do videos in her honor. For instance, you may have seen the video posted by our soldiers in Afghanistan:



... which is just, you know, beyond words great.

But as fun as that is, there's a new kid in town named Greyson Michael Chance, and he is RIDICULOUS. He is 12 and there is a video of him singing Paparazzi and accompanying himself on the piano at his 6th grade talent show, causing the girls sitting behind him to gape at him in awe. He's also quickly becoming the sixth grader I'm most jealous of in the world because he is GOING ON ELLEN TOMORROW. Greyson Michael, say hi for me. Anyway, here's the video which has been burning holes in the internet and converting Justin Bieber fans everywhere:



Can you fucking imagine if this were to happen at your middle school talent show? What 12 year old can do this? Oh, and in case you thought this was just a fluke, here are the two songs he posted on YouTube which he WROTE HIMSELF. If your jaw doesn't drop automatically, may I just remind you that he's 12? I've been around my fair share of 12 year olds and let me tell you, many of them can barely form a coherent sentence. When I was twelve I was too busy battling my hormones and terrorizing everyone to think about anything as productive as writing music. But apparently Greyson is above all that shit! Go ahead and be stunned by the videos below.

I Have Ridiculously High Self-Esteem

I believe that I generally come across as a highly confident person. I think that this, in part, has to do with the fact that I constantly reassure people that I am, in fact, really awesome (true). While my egotism is partly fueled by sarcasm, the fact of the matter is that I think I'm pretty great (and hey, I'm sure that anyone reading this is pretty great as well).

This is not to say that I'm without flaws, because I have them and am acutely aware of this fact. I can be irritating, stubborn, extremely loud, argumentative, overly-sarcastic, and when I'm not extremely careful I can come across as condescending, though this is never my intention and I swear to God I don't know how it happens (which, of course, would be another flaw). But despite the my keen understanding of my own downfalls, I still tend to think I'm a pretty good person, and I can accept them because I think that I'm ok, overall. Sadly though, every once in a while I meet someone who is not completely and utterly thrilled with themselves, and I wonder, why not? And as I was pondering this one day it dawned on me that a lot of my own self-confidence has to do with my mom.

I don't have a lot of memories of my childhood that stand out distinctly, but there are a few moments that I remember that, I think, are implicative of my mom's parenting skills, and that made a huge impact on my life. For one thing, I remember always being allowed to dress however I wanted - and even if that meant I was wearing a giant dolphin shirt, leggings, and my favorite handsome blue socks, that was fine. Maybe this was because my mom got tired of getting me dressed every day after several years and was thus more than happy to let me pick out my own outfits once I decided I wanted to do so, but the fact of it is that I didn't have any sort of self-consciousness about my appearance until the fourth grade when a boy pointed out there was a small hole in the shoulder of my t-shirt (after which I still wore ridiculous outfits, just ones that were intact). I had clearly not noticed this small flaw, and it hadn't dawned on me to worry about something like that before. I also have several tee-ball and school pictures from my elementary years in which my hair makes me look like a mom from an 80's sitcom (I'm thinking Growing Pains). I know J Bear also grew up looking like an extra from the cast of Annie, and while we've developed the ability to put ourselves together a bit more if we like, I think the fact that we weren't always primped and preened before leaving the house instilled in us not the idea that we were only as valuable as how we were dressed, but that it didn't really matter how we looked, as long as we were happy with what we were wearing. Which I think is a good thing.

My second mom memory is of a couple similar conversations that my mom and I had when I was about 8. In the first, I was trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life (something I still haven't figured out) and I asked her if it was ok for me to have two jobs. She said yes, some people do have two jobs, so I could do that if I wanted. I then told her that I thought I would be a doctor AND a lawyer. Instead of laughing and telling me that I would not have time to do both of these things, since doctors and lawyers are individually overworked as it is, she just told me that I could do that if I wanted.

In the second conversation, having just read A Wrinkle in Time (great book) in which the main character's mother is a double-PhD., I told her that I, too, wanted to earn two PhD.'s. Again, without laughing or acting like this was at all a difficult feat for someone who was not-yet-a-decade-old to be contemplating, she told me that if I wanted to, I definitely could do it. Again, I got a lesson from this beyond just the impression that she just wanted to stop these inane conversations: she believed in me, 100%. No matter what ridiculous dream I had (even that silly one about being a writer) I knew that my mom would always have my back, and more importantly, I knew that someone believed that I could be and do anything I wanted. Which made it easier for me to believe it, too.

These stories may not mean much to anyone else, but I think the messages they sent to me, the messages I've been hearing my whole life, have made a huge impact on my upbringing; they've made me the strong, obnoxious person I am. They've also helped me choose my great group of friends, by looking for characteristics in others that I've come to value in myself. I'm drawn to people with self-confidence, and have trouble dealing with people or characters who lack it. This is why I dislike characters like Bella Swan (of Twilight), who constantly wonders why the guy she's in love with loves her back. Shouldn't girls have a role model who knows just how much of a catch she is, rather than one who needs constant reassurance and validation? Shouldn't guys be taught to look for a woman who doesn't need a knight in shining armor, and on whom they can rely as a partner, rather than someone to constantly worry about and prop up? I think so, and for all the reasons above and so many more, I'm really happy that I have an amazing mom who has been a great role model, and who has taught me to love myself and others and to always strive for anything I really want. This one goes out to all the strong mothers out there, especially mine. I love you mom; happy Mother's Day.

Gulf Coast Oil Spill

So a couple weeks ago, President Obama was my MM because of all that he's gotten accomplished in the past few weeks (healthcare, nuclear talks with Russia, raising emission requirements, etc.). My only real problem, I said then, was his stance on drilling off the Gulf Coast - which was, of course, "pro-drilling," a remarkably conservative view for someone who is supposedly a "progressive" and a "socialist". I'm hoping that his viewpoint will change now, though, what with the huge amounts of crude oil that are currently spewing forth from the BP rig that exploded last month, killing 11 workers and starting an ecological disaster that is posited to surpass the Exxon Valdez oil tanker that ran aground on the exact day of my birth, March 24, 1989, which was, at the time, the worst maritime spill in history.



As someone who loves when oil isn't gushing into the ocean and destroying the fragile marine ecosystem, I'm having a lot of trouble with this spill. Maybe it's my irrational guilt for my connection to the Exxon Valdez, or maybe it's my love of Gulf Shores, AL (the MOST BEAUTIFUL PLACE ON EARTH) but the idea the of hundreds of thousands of gallons PER DAY that are pouring forth from the underwater well are making me physically ill. While the disaster in Alaska was horrible in its devastating effects on the landscape and the wildlife, this spill will not only be a blight on the environment, but it could cripple our economy in a number of ways. For one thing, the cleanup will cost billions. For another thing, the tourism industry that's just getting the season started along the Gulf will undoubtedly take a major hit, as people are less than keen to let their kids float on water-wings into an ocean full of black sludge. Another sector that could be hit, the AP is saying, is the shipping industry, as the oil slick moves dangerously closer to the Southwest Pass of the (MIGHTY) Mississippi, and if the shipping industry is hit, so could everything it moves from the Southeast up into the middle of the country and vice versa. Not to mention the fact that the fishing and shrimping and crabbing industries off the Gulf will be halted until - and who knows how long this could be? - the waters are cleaned and the seafood there is, once again, edible. And finally on a personal level - it's not like Alaska, the (I'm sure lovely) barren land where about 4 people live. No, the Gulf is full of people - retirees, families with small kids, small business owners and everyone in between - who love the land they live on, who love their homes, who don't want to have their gorgeous coastline coated in the real-life equivalent of Fern Gully's muck monster.



If President Obama doesn't make the decision to take back his earlier stance on drilling off the coast, I think this could do major, major damage to his stance in the environmental community. Come on, man. The EV should've been the one and only disastrous oil spill we needed to make a change in our policy. This is an opportunity to let the American people see how devastating our dependence on oil can be to the environment. Do not drill off the coast again, please. The risks are too high and the rewards are too few. And by the way, even if we DO drill off the coast, the oil we get there won't just be set aside for U.S. interests - it'll be sold on the global market. So it wouldn't be like we're lessening our dependence on foreign oil; we'd just be another competitor in the global game, but with such few resources as to make it almost not matter - and in my opinion, not worth it. Obama, the Republicans are calling you a socialist anyway; you might as well live up to their name-calling and do something great for our country's - and the world's - future. I didn't vote for a President who would ignore this kind of disaster and push forward on plans to drill off the coast because of pride or some almost pathological need to try to win Republicans over to his side, despite overwhelming evidence that THEY AREN'T GOING TO SUPPORT ANYTHING THAT HE DOES BECAUSE ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS PANDERING TO THEIR (WIDELY UNINFORMED AND OVER-PROPAGANDIZED BY FOX NEWS) BASE. (Sorry for the caps attack.) Look at the big picture, and realize that the future of the planet - which, in large part, is riding on the future of the oceans, which cover a whopping 71% of the Earth - is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than budging the Republicans over to our side, and making huge concessions in doing so.

Baptist Video Wednesday

Oh hey! So today, for a change of pace, I thought I'd blog. I know, it's unexpected, but we're wacky here at Dyxieland.

So I was scouring Facebook, as many college students do, when I'm sure I should've been doing something else, when I came across this terrifying/hilarious video on Argumentative Guy's wall. In it, a terrifying/hilarious preacher shares his terrifying/hilarious views on why women shouldn't wear pants and why neither gender should wear medium-length hair. Please enjoy/be sad about the state of our world.



To accompany this video, I'd like to share some thoughts.
1. I'm thrilled I'm not married to that man.
2. Some chicks can work short hair!
3. If I'm not supposed to wear pants, does that mean I can't wear sleep pants or sweat pants? Because there goes half my leg-wardrobe. Oh, and if we take out jeans, there goes another 49.5% of my leg-wardrobe.
4. I wonder what his thoughts are on kilts? Because as of recently, my thoughts on kilts are: they're hot.
5. Please stop saying "queer" like that, it makes me gasp every time.
6. I was absolutely not meant to be meek. I think he's right about how women want men who are strong, but I would change his idea of "Godly women want strong men" to "strong women want strong men (or other strong women, if that's their thing)." I would also argue that strong men want strong women (although again, they could also want a strong dude) because I think that people who are capable and confident search for these personality traits in others. I think that the only people who like weak people are also weak, if not physically then in some mental capacity. For instance, I'd say that this man considers himself to be strong, but from everything he's expressing - fear of "confusion," only wanting a "meek" woman, mocking people who are different from him, even the way he hides in the Bible - I see no strength. He probably does want a meek woman, because he couldn't handle anything else. Welcome to the 21st century, dude. Women are no longer valued for their silence, and we need people around us who can handle us having a voice - as Lorelai Gilmore once said, the meek shall not inherit the earth!

A Very Tall Masculine Monday

So one of my friends here in England told me about a beautiful website, tvshack.net, where I could watch American TV in my spare time when I'm not exploring London or doing homework or having the batteries changed on my door (about to be the fourth time in almost as many weeks!). You see, even though in the U.S. you can watch network shows on the internet, evil evil television corporations make it so that the licensing whatchamacallits (by the way, that word was not flagged by my spell-check, which gets mad at me when I don't capitalize the word "TV") don't allow people who are abroad access to their online archives (FOR SHAME television people! How am I supposed to survive if I don't know that Jin and Sun live happily ever after?), so this tvshack thing is really, really wonderful.

She told me about this site so I could start my relationship with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, about which I've heard only good things, but unfortunately I don't have enough time to devote to a new TV show right now - maybe next month. Anyway, I did use this miraculous God-send of a website to catch up on one of the shows I really loved in the U.S., but which I haven't been able to watch for a while: Community. This show is fucking funny - I think the characters are well-written and the casting of Chevy Chase was absolutely brilliant - but I'd be lying if I said that I started watching the show for any reason other than Joel McHale, who is, of course, today's Masculine Monday.

I've had major hots for Joel, who is a tree-like six feet four inches tall, since freshman year when I first discovered The Soup, the show he hosts on the E! Network, and when he started promoting his new sitcom I had to jump on board. And if you don't typically trust my taste in TV (although I'm not sure why you wouldn't; I have excellent taste), guess what? Ronfire likes it too! There's something for everybody! You all should watch it! Anyway, Joel is wonderful, and here are some clips of him.

This first clip was watched by me and JBear pretty much every day for about a month when we were freshmen.


This next one is Joel fighting a bully on Community, played by Anthony Michael Hall, continuing their string of John Hughes references. (He was the geek in The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, and Weird Science, but then a couple years later he bulked up and came back to play the bully in Edward Scissorhands (which of course was Tim Burton, not John Hughes, but my point is that he's the bully). Again, clever casting.)


And these next two are mostly because I really love Troy and Abed (Donald Glover and Danny Pudi).

In the Spirit of England

So this one will be familiar to my family.

There is this great British comedian named Eddie Izzard who does a lot of weird-ass stand-up comedy, which I find very hilarious. Once YouTube brought his stand-up to the masses, one guy took it in a direction that I don't think Eddie expected, but which actually works very well: he made legos act out Eddie's sketches. In stop-motion. And put them on YouTube. Here are some of my favorites, and I'm sorry for being so cranky about Bristol Palin a minute ago but hopefully this will lift all of our spirits. Enjoy.

Death Star Canteen:


Do You Have a Flag?


Cake or Death?


And here's him just doing stand-up. You will especially appreciate this if you understand French.

Bristol Palin Is an Asshole

So Bristol Palin is out with a new ad for the Candie's Foundation talking about how if she weren't so rich and popular, her life would really suck because she was a pregnant teenager. I'm not sure what pisses me off most about this ad - the fact that she's now going against her former (and let's be frank, more honest) statements about how abstinence-only education is "not realistic," or the fact that she is essentially flaunting her luck of being born into a prominent family and simultaneously judging other people who aren't fortunate enough to have the money and fame that she has - who, you know, if they made poor decisions and got pregnant at 17, might actually have to face those poor decisions and figure out what to do with their lives.

"Oh you rubes, living in states that don't pay you to stay there, without famous mothers who campaign for the world's worst causes - your lives are going to be so awful, now that you're forced to take responsibility for your actions! You other poor people, you'd better not act out - only we privileged, lucky people get to make bad choices (which are then taken care of for us). Better not have sex, because there's nothing worse than being poor and having a baby - not that I would know, because I'm rich." Plus Bristol Palin telling people not to have sex is totally going to work. Oh, unless they're teenagers who have heard "abstinence only" their entire lives, but who decide to make their own choices. But that's totally not likely, right? Because God wants us to wait until marriage. Unless we're rich enough to pay for a nanny, in which case we can fuck whoever we want. Here's the ad, I hope the condescension doesn't burn.



Bristol Palin's teenage pregnancy PSA @ Yahoo! Video

Sidenote from CK: There's also some weird subliminal shit happening here that really makes Sarah Palin look like a really great human being. Honestly, with her 5 kids (and I'm convinced that that down-syndrome baby was never actually in her womb) she's just one step above the octomom. Good thing I'm rich because having sex with women is really dangerous. I'm so glad I paid to be gay so that I didn't become a teenage mom or be able to marry someone in order to have sex. I'm so rich an abstinence only lifestyle is written in fine print in the contract for my Trust Fund.

Re-Side Note by Katie Dee: Upon watching it again, though, I can't help but point out that THAT is a really cute baby. YES I KNOW THIS IS A WEIRD THING TO NOTICE. I CAN'T HELP IT, I LOVE CHILDREN.

Palo Alto Highschool Peacefully Fights that fucker Phelps.

I blogged about Constance McMillen and her school's cancelling of a her prom all because she wanted to bring her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo. Well, her school and community duped her. They told her there was a prom happening at a local country club and McMillen and date and tuxedo showed up ready to party. Well, they walked in to 7 other prom-goers, 2 of which were mentally handicapped. The only reason I'm including the mentally handicapped thing is because every article I've read includes and I find that hilarious. So they're basically saying, not only are you GAY but you get to party with RETARDS. Let's be real, that's discriminatory and politically incorrect TWICE. Whatever. People can be cruel sometimes. This shows that even being on the Ellen Degeneres show doesn't guarantee you anything. Shit's RAW.

But across the country, at Gunn High school in Palo Alto, CA, something amazing happened. Westboro Baptist Church, The "God hates Fags" people, (p.s. I can't believe I googled that to get the URL and it really is godhatesfags.com. I feel dirty linking you to it, and I can't even bring myself to explore the website because I'm greeted as a"deplorable son or daughter of Adam and Eve.") decided to protest the school because in the past 6 months 4 teens have committed suicide. Apparently, this is god smiting them for their liberal thoughts and the community's acceptance of all people. OMG THAT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE. I know that the events in the past semester at Gunn High school are tragic, but they are not the beginning of the second coming and they have nothing to do with Fred Phelps and his deranged followers. In order to retaliate and show the Westboro Fools that they have no business in the Palo Alto community, the school, lead by administration leaders and teachers, discussed a plan of action. They considered not showing up, so that the Westboro Fools protested a barren school campus; but finally settled on a peaceful display of acceptance and campfire songs. As a soul born into the wrong generation (I should have been a tree hugging hippie who ran way to San Francisco instead of Iowa who still reads Beat Poets and listens to Janis Joplin) I have a soft spot for campfire songs and peaceful demonstrations. Watch the video below to see what I'm talking about:



Daisy Renazco and Noreen Likins you're pretty ok. High Schools need more teachers and principles like you. Teachers with a social conscience. So in a time of cultural set back for Human Rights in Mississippi, we can always count on California (even though I secretly hate Palo Alto because of James Franco) to have their shit together. Now if only they shit can be together in a de jure sense instead of a de facto one.

Masculine Monday: Presidential Edition

So while deciding today's MM, I briefly considered making it the 1980 Olympic Hockey team because I just watched the movie Miracle today, but then I realized that I haven't yet given big O his due for finally getting shit done this week! It seems like, since he first got sworn in (actually, since he first got voted in) Obama has been working constantly but not making any particular amount of progress. Then, BOOM, this week he comes out getting done not only health care, but also signing legislation that helps college students get loans and puts some checks on the banks, and signing off on new off-shore drilling, AND putting in much more stringent regulations on fuel efficiency in new vehicles, AND going into nuclear arms agreements with Russia.

Now, I'm not super pleased about the off-shore drilling because, I mean, I'm just not particularly in favor of more drilling, particularly in fragile underwater ecosystems (I'm a tree-hugging liberal), but at the moment I'm willing to trust that he knows what he's doing and is using the drilling to distract Republicans into voting for better environmental legislation in the long run (because from everything I've read/seen about this off-shore drilling, it's a very short-term fix and won't even be a viable source of energy for a few years. So it's like, dude, what's the point? I mean, it has to be a chess move. It has to be). But all the other stuff? Reducing arms in two major nuclear powers, helping our population become more educated with less debt, helping the ill afford aid, and decreasing the U.S.'s impact on the environment on a major way? Not a bad freaking week. PLUS there was actually an increase of a few hundred thousand jobs in March, which shows that we might slowly be climbing our way out of this recession.

Obama, it took you a year for us to see some of the change you promised us, but at this point, I like what you're giving me. Keep up the good work. (I like your railway idea too - let's do that after you put some major restrictions on banks and credit card companies. Ok?) So in what I hope will be the first of many Masculine Monday: Presidential Editions, I say kudos and keep going, and for God's sake let's keep a Democratic Congress this fall so the progress doesn't get backtracked, because the Republicans are being nothing if not unhelpful. And on THAT ridiculously partisan note, goodnight.

Hoppy Easter!

It's Easter... soo... here are some cute animals. That's the spirit of this holiday, correct? This goes out to J Bear and my sister.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

Hey guys! I just wanted to let you know that I've started hosting a Literary/Creative Writing themed radio show targeted at undergraduates at the University of Iowa. It's on from 11-Noon and you can stream it online here! So, you can listen from anywhere. If you are in the Iowa City area, turn the dial to 89.7. This week, me and Ronfire99 are having a special guest on the show, our friend The Hobbit Extra, to talk about music with literary lyrics, book references, and music we write to. We're taking it easy this week since it's easter weekend. Our songs choices should lead to some really fascinating discussion, since Ronfire, The Hobbit Extra, and I are all lil Chatty Kathys (Kathies?) and it makes me proud.

Be sure to listen as I slowly become a media mogul.