It's Still Monday in California

My first Masculine Monday post is dedicated to my sister, and will double as my way-after-the-fact review of New Moon.

Our first M Squared is Taylor Lautner, who recently broke up with Taylor Swift and who (sources say) will in the next few years become my brother-in-law. Welcome to the family, Tay. And here are a few reasons why he's welcome to the family:
1. Arms


2. Smile


3. General boyish charm


4. Seriously, just look at him


5. No really, look at how he's holding that football


6. He knows Robert Pattinson and presumably can introduce me


7. Same for Kellan Lutz (also I find this picture oddly hot. But then I'm strange.)


I mean, does Taylor look a little cheesy in some of these pics? Yeah, sure. Am I doubting his taste in women after he dated Selena Gomez? Of course, but I still love Zefron even though he's dating the disgusting V Hudge. Is he the greatest actor? I'm honestly not sure, because there's a lot about the movies that can be blamed on bad writing, but I mean, sure, he's fine. I thought the SNL skit where he was a Team Edward fan was semi-amusing, and I was very impressed with his ninja moves where he decapitated Kanye in the intro/monologue thing. So really I guess my stance on his "skill" level is that we'll have to wait until he does real movies to see how the acting progresses.

And that's my seamless way of moving into talking about New Moon: it was exactly what I expected. My opinion is generally the same as it was for the first one - the protagonists are very nice to look at, the movie is better than the book because the book is poorly written, and I still like stories about vampires because they remind me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (three cheers for Joss Whedon). If you like fairly predictable stories with a couple interesting ideas, or particularly if you like hot guys running around shirtless, you should probably see this movie. Personally this isn't something I'd ever drag a guy to, but hey, I'm fucking nice.

R Pattz Hair Update

It's been short, it's been long, now it's moppish. This is for his new movie, How To Be, in which I believe his character is the anti-Edward Cullen. He actually filmed it before the phenomenon that is Twilight in jolly old England but it's just getting out now. Trailers:




But enough about that, let's talk about the hair: I'm not big on it. It doesn't do much for me. It does kind of remind me of Eric Matthews from Boy Meets World, but dirtier and less, you know, attractive. It looks like there are mats in it, and perhaps a family of birds or small squirrels. He reminds me of this kid at camp who had a similar mop-top, but blond, and who was in all advanced classes at school but in person was just not quite there, especially in the movie poster. Actually, he looks like someone who Kristen Stewart would really like to date. (Because she likes weed, get it?)

All of the above being said, however, I would still hit it with no questions asked for one reason and one reason only: British. Accent.

Holy Abs Emmet/ Leave Robert Alooooone

Kellan Lutz, better known as Emmet from Twilight, was apparently tired of being the overlooked guy on the set. Hey, he's a vampire too, and he's supposed to be the big bulky sexy one - so what's the deal with Edward and Jacob getting all the attention? Is he not, he asks, just as hot as them? Um, yeah, apparently he is. These are some just glorious pictures of him from a photo shoot with Flaunt magazine, to which I apparently need a subscription. I now have a new background for my laptop and a new appreciation of headgear.

In other Twilight news, the bitches at LifeStyle magazine are claiming that R Pattz is being a jealous little bugger because Taylor Lautner is getting all the attention in the new movie. They say his star is dwindling and he's ever-so-concerned, and also he's jealous because his sweetheart Kristen Stewart is hanging more with Taylor than with him.



Not to question the undeniably astute minds behind LifeStyle, but do these bitches think? 1. Why would Robert suddenly be surprised about Taylor having the lead role? Dude has read the books, and Edward is pretty much gone for the whole thing. It would be a non-issue, especially because 2. They are pretty much GUARANTEED to make the next 2 movies, both of which star Edward more than Jacob (to my everlasting chagrin). So I'm doubting that Robert is worrying his pretty little head over anything. Oh, and by the way, 3. Kristen Stewart has a boyfriend, and it is neither Taylor nor Robert but some lucky dude named Michael. And I'm doubting that either Taylor or Robert, who has been linked to several pretty girls on his own, has any trouble getting women.

The only thing Robert might have the sads about is that there have been rumors going around that he hates showering and always smells like ass on the set - which again doesn't make any sense, because he hasn't even started filming yet. So yeah, he is upset about that, and he's one of those sensitive artsy types who is super insecure anyway, but come on - let's not make drama where there is none. I know this is a blog where we talk about celebrity dirt a lot of the time, but let's treat them like people, shall we? I mean, everybody talks about people behind their backs, whether it's friends or celebrities, but to just make up shit about them is uncalled for. And if it bugs me, someone with no tangible ties to these people (other than the love in my heart), imagine how it must suck for them. Yeah, some of them wanted to be famous, but for a lot of these kids, they just wanted to do cool movies and see themselves onscreen - not have their private lives splattered throughout the tabloids. They're not even in their mid-20s, for Chrissakes - Taylor and Kristen are younger than me, and I'm practically an infant. I'm with Chris Crocker on this one.

Anyway, I'm off my soap box. Enjoy some more Kellan Lutz pictures! Click to enlarge... you know you wanna!

Apparently This Is News

Robert Pattinson got a haircut. Whatever, he was probably tired of girls trying to grab it all the time! He's been very vocal about how creepy girls get around him, and how he's not used to it and thinks it's weird. Yeah, I would be too. That said, he's still super hot.

Obsessive Much? Twilight and R Pattz

Ugh. Be sexier, Robert, honestly. The Hotness and the Glory that is Daniel Radcliffe made me think of my other one and only from across the Atlantic, namely Robert Pattinson. No, this isn't creative, but I never claimed it was. I can only say that my adoration for R Pattz stems from much too much wasted time looking up his interviews on YouTube and many too many hours of watching Twilight on my computer. And yes, I do actually like the movie - in my opinion it's much better than the book, because 1. It gets to the fucking point and doesn't mull over every insignificant detail and 2. I don't hate Bella in the movie. In the book she's a whiney bitch. In the movie she's kinda BA. R Pattz and Kristen Bell seemed like they were trying to make the best movie they could, and I thought it was acted it well. So that's my piece on it. Oh and by the way, I'm not even Team Edward - I was in love (do not judge) with Jacob from the second book til the very end. Maybe because Bella's obsessive love of Edward annoyed me? But Robert won me over, and it's to his credit.

But anyway. Robert is super charming because he is of course British, and so I'm giving you the gift of pictures of him. Oh, and a clip of him and Ellen chatting, because if there's anyone I love more than R Pattz it's Ellen DefuckingGeneres.






Although granted I would like it better if he washed his hair. And holy crap this is serendipity: I'm watching TV and for the first time in weeks I accidentally watched a commercial (thanks Tivo). Well, it happened to be that crappy Hillary Duff commercial for her perfume (who buys that shit?) and it has EMMET from Twilight in it! Mute the clip so your ears don't file a suit against you for reckless endangerment or something and enjoy.