OMG HUGE NEWS

Brace yourselves: Miley Cyrus has deleted her Twitter. Noooooo! What? Where the hell will I get my news now? I have to know the important decisions of her life. Chinese food or Indian? HOW WILL I KNOW WHAT TO ORDER IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT MILEY IS ORDERING?

She said her goodbyes and explanations in a rap on YouTube (below). While this is a vain way of announcing something like this, the fact is that Miley's every move is followed by the media to a ridiculous degree so she needed to say something or people would've froke the fuck out. I mean, even with the explanation - which, by the way, was really well-thought-out, and which I, as a Twitter hater (it is completely masturbatory. I don't give a fuck about your pithy life comments, sorry. Yes, I know I have one, but that's because I'm a whore for readership on the blog), completely agree with - people are still making a huge deal about it. Apparently even her DAD is asking her to bring it back (but we all know he cares only about her well-being and didn't just like the constant publicity her Tweets brought in). Anyway, I may be the only one, but I APPLAUD YOU MILEY. I applaud any celebrity whose stance on their own fame is "Why the fuck do you guys care about everything that I do? Stop it."



Oh and by the way, since this is my first post on Milers and I'm using it as an excuse, below is the video for "Fly on the Wall." Why should you care? You shouldn't, the song is mediocre and the video is no work of genius. BUT the guy in the beginning and end scenes is Jarron Vosburg, who was one of my friends in my neighborhood when I was growing up. He's doing the Hollywood thing, and I wish him well and I get excited when I see stuff that he's doing. And being in a music video of the biggest teen pop star of the moment? That's a pretty big deal. Congrats Jarron!

Shit Son

Sucks to be Michael Phelps right now! He's been suspended from swimming competitions for the next three months, and he's talking about not swimming in the 2012 Olympics. Plus, Kelloggs dropped his sponsorship. Damn! All for smoking a little weed? Honestly, who gives a FUCK? He was arrested for a DUI back in 2004 and now all this shit... the boy is a jock. I'm not saying he should be held to different standards, but does anyone really expect anything else? And of all the dumbass things he could do, the DUI is a lot shittier than just smoking some pot. And THIS is what people are having a fucking hissy fit about? It's not like he could've even hurt anyone. The above picture is from the good old days - you know, six months ago - and is one of my favorite pictures of him. (It emphasizes his bod and hides the butterface quite nicely.) I used it to make myself less depressed about all this crap!

Apparently This Is News

Above is a picture of Butterface Phelps at a party in November, taking a hit from a bong. Of what, you ask? What's so scandalous? Crack? Meth? A burnt American flag? No, dumbass, it's pot. The next question out of your mouth should be, "So fucking what?"

Who cares? And who didn't assume he smoked up regularly anyway? I mean, the dude is loaded, and the damn Olympics aren't for another 3 and a half years. If not smoke weed now, then when? He's still in better shape than 99.99999999% of the planet, give or take 1/100000 of a percentage point. It's not like he's less amazing a swimmer for occasionally smoking up. And what asshole friend leaked this picture to the media? Probably the same one who said this: "At one point someone asked him if he wanted to smoke some weed. Michael didn't hesitate and headed to a small back room, where he was immediately handed a big red bong. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and ripped a huge smelly bong rip. He knew exactly what he was doing. He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming the backstroke." Anyone else think that's kinda hot?

Phelps released this statement, because if he hadn't conservative America would've flipped a shit: "I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I'm 23 years old and despite the successes I've had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again."

Whatever. I don't give a shit if he smokes every day until the 2012 Olympics as long as he keeps the muscles rippling - which I'm sure he will. I just hope he doesn't get caught again, because there are already so many things for tutting American adults to get their panties in a twist over.