Hogwarts Student in Tragic Accident

Burbery caught a tragedy on film recently. Hermione Granger was apparently late for a modeling job and, while Apparating into the photo shoot, she fucking splinched herself real fucking badly. It wasn't just half an eyebrow like Ron in book 6; no, she actually lost most of her right leg from the thigh down. She was rushed to St. Mungo's, and the missing part of her limb is being tracked down as we speak. She is pictured above, clearly choking back tears, holding on for balance to the boy in the shoot, who is the brother of someone named "Emma Watson," though I'm not entirely sure who that is. The Weasley family and Harry Potter have all visited her in the hospital, and reports are that Ron and Harry are refusing to leave her side. Her Muggle parents have not yet been informed of the accident, because they're just dentists and they would freak the fuck out.



Well done, Burbery Photoshop guys. Gotta trim the fat off those legs. Bipedalism is so 2009.

What in Photoshop Hell

Did they do to Eminem's eyes? So he's supposed to be some comic book character on the inside of the magazine - do they have to make him look like human anime (or as one of my exes says, "aminay", no matter how many times I remind him that it is short for "animation")? Somebody needs to get slapped over this because making someone typically sexy (don't you judge me) look like an alien with a crack problem is a crime against photos, straight women, and gay men, not to mention the poor aliens! I don't know what XXL magazine is (or I didn't before I googled it and found that link), but this is apparently a promo for his fifth album, Relapse, which comes out on May 19. Um, awesome. I'm now terrified into buying it because I believe that his laser eyes will GET ME if I don't. Great marketing scheme, if that's what they're going for. Thanks, XXL, I'll be checking the closets for those eyes before bedtime from now on. More pics from the promo below - click to enlarge if you're not scared already.